Take a butchers at this me old Chinas.
Slip ya Plates o' Meat into ya Jacks,
brew up a nice cup o' Rosy,
and if you haven't got a ****** what I'm on about,
feel free to fire me off a Jimmy Nail
and tell me it's a load of old cobblers.
Can you Adam an' Eve it,
I left me Dog 'n' Bone on the Apples
and when I went to call the Trouble 'n' Strife
some joker had Half-Inched it.
But that's not the worst of it.
When I got back to the Cat and Mouse
she'd done a bunk in me shiny new Jam Jar.
I couldn't believe me Pork Pies!
So here I am all on me Todd,
me only transport a ****** old **** van ****.
Gordon Bennett!
I'm goin' down the ****** for a few Britneys,
gonna get totally Brahms and List
and blow a big fat raspberry at the whole thing.
Tomorrow's another bale 'o' hay.
butchers hook = look, china plates = mates, plates 'o' meat = feet, Jack the Rippers = slippers
Rosy Lea = tea, ****** doo = clue, Jimmy Nail = email, cobbler's awls = *****,
Adam & Eve = believe, dog 'n' bone = phone, apples & pears = stairs, trouble & strife = wife,
half-inch = pinch, cat & mouse = house, jam jar = car, pork pies = eyes, Todd Sloan = alone,
**** van **** = bike, Britney Spears = beers, Brahms & List = ******, raspberry **** = ****,
bale 'o' hay = day.
I imagine for those who don't know about it, Cockney Rhyming Slang seems improbable. Originally conceived perhaps to confuse eavesdroppers, its heyday may have passed but it is still widely used in its heartland, the East End of London and beyond. Some words are used commonly all over the UK, sometimes without the user realising the derivation, in fact I grew up saying "give us a butcher's" and "boracic" (boracic lint = skint = no money) among others. Also, as in Britney and Glorias (Gloria Gaynors = trainers) new ones are still being coined. A bit of an oddball me old chinas, but I hope you enjoyed this little taste of chitty chitty (bang bang = slang).