Wind

violent servant of a bruised sky

churns the sea...

flinging salt water mountains

that shatter on the shore

I have two vines

with nodding heads

they look just like giraffes ...

long necks peering in

heads curled up in loops

The lake was blue and silver
alive with dragonflies
the air cool and still
stars unmoving
we had carried the heat of the fields
with us all day
brushing against each other
like sun against grass
clothes we had discarded
a tangle on the ground
still held something of that warmth

I glance at you
lying on the grass
dozing in the sun
arms clasped behind your head
so familiar
yet
containing a universe
a history
perceptions I will never know

the middle of the night
shallow restless sleep
a
singularly
wild
idea
occurs

but sleep spawned revelations
from the subconcious
wither
and die
of ridicule at dawn

spring has sprung
or haven't you heard
can't you tell
by the singing of birds?

winter has gone
and it's not too late
but there you exist
behind a closed gate

sat at your desk
no listening to birds
how you don't live
I find quite absurd

i didnt know wether
to leave you
a note
or not

He smiled weakly
and offered up
this
"I'll be dead in 5 yrs if you don't come back"
he said it was a love declared
and couldn't see why I was scared

Giving birth
is like being eviserated
the umbilical cord
pulls your insides out
they trail forever after
the children you've born

im not sure which
horrified me the most
the fact that
at aged 54 he
wanted to  “get”
a teen aged girl
or the fact
he thought
he could

he didn't notice
she was dead
until
the next day

her fairness is
a saving grace
and I don't mean
her fair of face
she isn't cruel
unfair judgemental
intelligent
not sentimental
and for her loves
she's always there
won't let them down
when needing care

I called her Amber
because she's a jewel
she glows with warmth
like a fire fueled
an ancient soul
trapped in her eyes
just like in amber
are fireflies

or a cut version

I call her Amber
cos she's a jewel
aglow with warmth
like fire fueled
ancient soul
within her eyes
just as in amber
trapped fireflies

drifting through mist
scouring the sand
looking for shells, pebbles
twisted driftwood
ancient treasures clutched in hand
skeins of seaweed
splayed on the beach
foaming white lace
i dance
out of reach

i can feel love
for a handful
of men
is it love?
or something
dilute
to feel this way
about 4
or 5

we do not "date"
or even kiss (oh but our eyes....)
we  
talk
laugh
sing
joke
together

i can feel love
for a handful of men
is it love
or something dilute

why do i ask

these are just words
i fling up on paper
sometimes in ink
sometimes in blood
and sometimes

in prayer

in the real and unreal realm
a good neighbour
you and i
the odd kiss
occational hug
there's nothing ****** in it
no frission
no spark
it's like the echo of something
that might have been
but never will
a good neighbour
you
and I

i don't want some media host
telling me what's what
and  “ do we approve of this opinion ”
and  “ do we approve of that ”
as if they have the right to question
everyone's opinions
to call it in as if it's wrong?
hold several vivisections
let's share our thoughts on media
on twitter tweet and 2 facedbook
then hopefully with this campaign
we'll all have the same look

the desire to be free
of other people
of a past that clings
often leads to acts
that pave the way to remorse
a path littered
with the rotting corpses
of other peoples dreams

daddy dear
getting all fired up
over the loss of a certain brand of whatever he likes
86
and this is it

casual
but intense
relaxed
but exciting
a man of his word
who listens to mine
the possible
and the impossible
all in one
why do I dream
at this age
maybe that's all
there is

you morn me
in retrospect
and hurt me
in the present tense

oh god how is it possible
to love one another
so intensely
yet rub each other up the wrong way
no saving us
i want to dissipate into mist
invade your pores

had been to a wedding
a lovely affair
many humerous people were there

all through the night
we danced and we sang
throughout the rooms much laughter rang

home the next day
my emails i read
sorry said dad your sister is dead

love is not sunlight
on gossamer down
or dewdrops on grass
in which our souls drown
not sunlight filtering
through lacy leaves
no matter how much
such fancies please
so why do we clothe it
in white lace and roses
it's merely a corpse
that looks fine in poses

can i come home
cant do this
no more
53
and
collapsed
on the floor
been
all over
Europe
in and
out
doors
drug ****** and
lifeless
really a bore

if i run
as fast as i can
maybe
i'll outstrip reality
and trick it
into rearrangement...

every atom
blasted apart
reconstituted
in an instant
random fragments
of memory surface
then spin out of sight
permanence and solidarity
laughable
dissolving
everything tissue thin
friable

a curve of green
stems
in a brown
jar

I've never recalled dreams he said
although it isn't true
re creating history
is what he likes to do
it some how makes him feel good
as he would rather be
the man who has a perfect brain
no need for him to see
i wonder why he does that
i really couldn't say
should i just ignore it
and go my separate way

are you
******?
when you write
your poems
he asked
as if they were
nothing
more than
that

a vain and
troubled
man
in search of
disguise
he wears his
eccentricity
like a cloak

nothing
prepares you
for
the ****** decrepitude of old age
an obscenity of
plastic bags for *****
plastic bags for *****
fear of losing
your teeth down a drain
egg white and crackers are all you keep down
grumbling old hags in the coffin queue
waiting for the shroud

hung in black cobwebs
wrapping the ceilings
hot water cylinder
rusted to usless
old nickle plated
green tarnished teaspoons
food scraps that lurk
on ancient linolium
a sprouting of mushrooms
under the cooker
bin bags all spilling
jumble sale clothing
death a relief
only imagined

i looked up some old poets here
and noticed they have gone
ive also done an absence
myself
not the only one

we come here to
exchange a thought
ours spirits get renewed
I wouldn't feel quite this way
if your poems i hadn't viewed

get out of those pj's
and into some jeans
altho i obey
i
dont know what that means
my life does unravel
undone at the seams
i prefer life by night
under moon beams

capricious i am
that's just how it is
don't let it offend
don't get in a tizz
i do not reply
to many a ***
there is no offence
it's just that i'm
odd
you've all been so kind
i have to agree
please don't be upset
with me just being me

floating in neverland
she takes on new
winged form

dazzling
bright
translucent
in flight

to close
to the sun
her wings will melt

a cold wind blows
and golden elm
is shedding her summer dress
gold medallions lie in pots
the ground beneath her
soon a mess

im in mourning
didn't even see it
dawning
why do I
do this every night
and wake up
feeling
full of
.............

please dont give me
any advice
about infinities rewards
there are none

but then
theres the sun
the moon
and stars
birds
bees
deciduous trees
you
me
infinity

what was that
i
said

no I didn't go to work today

you bring yourself
into the room
your ego follows
all too soon
you feed it till
it swells and grows
and pretty soon
it's all that shows

your silences
hold more truth
than anything
you say

oh fickle poem
why haunt me so
*****
just let go
I have no time
you win the war
I shut and bar
the door

my ugliness
is  in
that I am
still here