A gun that can only be shooting with spoons,
A hammer of glass, a shelter for beetles,
A face cream with fragrance attracting raccoons.
A big cotton bag full of needles.

A triangle ball, a candle that stinks.
A timer that's constantly speeding,
A chessboard with figures just missing two kings,
A puzzle with function of heating.

A Queen of the Britain, and her diamond strings.
A spyglass distracting attention.
13 is the number of mentioned things
With no any good application.

One fellow once
gave me advice:
«Conduct a fèmale training!».
I chose a day, and sold the seats
And caught the money raining.

I came back home with pretty dame –
She was my clever student.
She often had been tricked by men,
Again she's getting through it.

The writer perhaps has lied,
Let's think it was his mistake.
You'll meet your tomorrow blind,
Until you today awake.

Each day is a kind of lesson.
How thoroughly have you learnt?
For what did you spend it racing,
If you've got a **** result?

Replace your concerns to whiskey –
It's absolutely okay,
But precious time is risky
Be wasted on groundhog day.