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Why waste your time talking, are you insane?
You're pushing real buttons when you could play.
Offer me a gun,
Offer me a blade,
Offer me an answer
Cemented firmly in old ways
Or I will crush you in insults with the language you would use to say,
"Expand"

Only one solution to such a simple problem.
Get what is rightly yours or just defeat or justly save.
Offer me the newest
best displayed gun
with the best gimmick
and I'll offer you several days
but once I hear the pleas with common language and you choose to say,
"Expand"

I have no choice but to crush you into the dirt from whence you came!
So say it. Say what you will. I need to use this answer I obtain.

There are those whose ideas work to change the normative horror
but they're working beyond the confines and outside exposure
necessary to ever, ever, realistically begin the revolution leading
to the evolution necessary for our medium to truly newly thrive
and sure it will survive, you're right about that, but I myself
would like to see a future where when given ultimate control
of a problematic situation, I'm not standing on a platform
made of mechanics that come from a singular origin and only
give me a killswitch, saying, "In which way would you like
to end more lives", and though it's a nice enough reprieve
don't get me wrong, I'd rather have an expansive platform
to stand on where I might be given a multitude of options
that may possibly end in my choosing not to become a
soldier.

Get back.
Rescue.
Retrieve.
Destroy.
Revenge.

Are we lost to the tropes which provide the most money for instant growth
that knowingly keep us from ever, ever truly growing and expanding?
Will this be forever the list we're left to roam?
The guy friends like to tease me
because I like to secretly romance
the young souls that need and deserve it.

"Ohh, you gonna read her a poem and cuddle?"

They razz at me. . .

"You bought her flowers?!?"

*****. . .

Yes I will, and yes, yes I did.

These are the same men who probably never saw
that special sparkle in a womans eye
that they all posses
and if you are not careful.
It just might burn right through you.
 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
B
Traces
 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
B
it's not about the color of their eyes
the tone of their skin
it's the glow from within
what they emanate
who they are
what makes them tick
guilty pleasures
nervous ticks
necks and cricks
where their pleasure spot is
what makes them give in
submit to sin
what they stand for
how they carry themselves
if they are put together well
like spices on the shelf
if their smile never fades
and you remember it for days
 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
L
why do you do the things you do?
your body says,
"Come hither."
but your eyes say
"Why bother?"

so which is it, boy?
surely,
if you didn't want me in the slightest,
you would have left me years ago...
just like the others.

yet here you stand,
as beautiful as ever.

I call you Beatiful Boy...
but those are just
words.
do you believe you are beautiful?

your hazel eyes full of insecurity say
"No."
they are full of memories and
taunts from bullies of the past...
but they aren't here anymore, Beauitful Boy.
they're long gone.
the only one that remains is me.

can you see me?
Have you ever had one of those days where every noise is a scream?  Your mind is a white cathedral with high ceilings that gleam.  

Your train of thoughts derail from ancient broken tracks.  You try to speak intelligent words but they don't come out as facts.  

Your hands shake like a leaf deserted on a lonely tree.  You're afraid to step outside lest you be upset by the breeze.  

The only safe sanctuary is your warm and comfy bed.  So you climb back under the sheets and hide your troublesome head.
 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
R
i thought of him
and those hands
and that beard
dear god, he is ecstasy.

i thought of that laugh
and that smile
and those blue, blue eyes.
i cannot get enough.

the thought of his tie
and those lips
and the way he sticks out his tongue.
i sure would like a taste of him.

i thought about him
and his brain
and about what he thinks about,
maybe he thinks of me?

he must think of me,
he gives me gifts
and tells me he loves me.
doesn't that mean he cares?

maybe i'll never know.
Memories fade
As fast as sugar dissolves in my tea
And I feel myself do absolutely nothing about it.
I'm caught inside myself, some deep, silver trance,
And I can't crawl out of it.
Because I see you leaving, with the storm,
And the clouds are dry heaving because they don't know what else to do.
Should I prepare my goodbye, or should I hold on tight,
To someone I hold dearly in my heart?
Stories are Stories,
And love is love,  whether it's young or naive or both.
So if this is a novel,
A big detailed adventure, of my story and of my home,
How do I tell, if this chapter is long,
Or if it Is merely a page long?
I cannot tell, and neither can you,
So we are forced to sit on the frozen grass,
Remembering and forgetting the past,
And realizing nothing is sure.
So I plead to rest my words,
Silence my tongue,
Before the cold comes.
He likes you
This I know.
He doesn't like her
I also know this.
He touches you,
talks to you,
has fun with you.
He is bipolar towards her.
He's grown used to her ways,
lived them,
loved them,
learned from them,
hated them.
People say she's consumed with jealousy.
What they don't know,
is that she isn't.
She is not jealous.
She does not get jealous-it's not her.
She's come to the knowledge of:
He's not hers, she has no reason to be jealous
Come to knowledge that
She can't be jealous of something that's not hers
Come to the realization that
He may never be hers
and she's perfectly fine with that.

Now you-
You're in the same position they were.
You're just a different version of her.
You've come to the knowledge that
He doesn't like her
Come to the knowledge that
He does care for you
Come to the realization that
You can rub him in her face

But do you realize that she doesn't care?
I assume you don't.
I know you don't.
Because you are one of those people.
Because you are unaware.
This is not a game.
This is reality.
This is manipulation.

Now,
I've learned to read people.
I can read you.
I can read her.
I can read them.
I can read us.
Once a person is able to read others,
they become full of knowledge.
Knowledge of
people
life
peoples' lives
anything.
This is reality.
This is life.
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