I'm terrified to see him once more,
He was the trigger to anxiety,
He was the break of all trust,
He was the death to my soul,
I'm terrified to see him once more.

I'm addicted to something
I haven't tried
I don't know what to do
I can't get it off my mind.
It comes in all forms
sugars, powders, plants, liquids too
I want it in my system
I'm often very blue.
Make my temperature rise
And my heart beat slow
I don't care what it is
Just let me go.
I need something to cope
I need something to see
But ultimately,
I want to go back to being me.

loving someone
unconditionally
seems to only result
in you being hurt
unconditionally

I don't want to be like them,
I want to be my own,
with my own ideas, memories, thoughts
I don't want to go through the motions,
I don't want to be washed out,
I want to be original.

It shouldn't of been you
in the accident that day,
For it should've been me.
I'm the one wishing myself dead,
I'm the one wanting out,
it shouldn't of been you.
I want to take your place,
it's unfair, unfathomable
your innocence was to save the world,
it shouldn't of been you.

What does it matter to you?
my ****** orientation
my eating habits
my motives
What does it matter to you?
my grades
my standards
my background
What does it matter to you?
my disease
my appearance
my everything
What does it matter to you?

Jealousy is not something I can easily contain,
It comes in unexpected times and cannot be tamed
When I try to deny, and try to resist,
It only makes it worse, makes everything twist
I end up with regret,
I end up with sorrow,
I need to move on, forget about tomorrow
I'm only causing problems
It's not nearly acceptable,
But you're making me feel unwanted, it's so easily perceptible
uninvited, unloved, and without you,
I know it's in my head, but I wish you'd get a clue
Even though you remind me all the time, my heart's still on a thread
But seeing you with them, with her, with him
makes me feel alone, makes me rage, makes me question myself,
But never turn the page.