i  envy your pillow
it lets you
rest your head on it
while i can't

i envy your cup,
it kisses your lips
tasting yours,
while i just stare at it,

i envy your blanket
it covers your skin
it touches every bit of you
while i can't

i envy your clothes
it touches your skin
every corner of it
every flaw
while i'm sitting here
typing this

well she could sit around all day
and rot her poetry this way
just put it all rot down and say
"I've done my rotten duty"
done let the cat out of the bag
done with the hairball that old nag
all gutsy green this rotten queen
just rode a rotten beauty.

she'll change the word to what it's not
and that ain't wrong, but it ain't rot
and just like garbage turns to ***  
and get's all down trodden
then long the rod, like rodeo
these words are ridden, time to go
so get the horse and don't be slow
you're right in time with ridin'!

We're ridin' errors then all day
poetic license paves the way
don't know quite where but that's okay,
cause it's our rot to ramble
and what this rutted road has got
is what the dusty novel's not
the long and short of every rot
is pure poetic bramble.

Thinking back on that day
so long ago, I always have to ask myself
if my recollection is true.

Did the sunlight and the spray from the falls
really create a rainbowed halo above you?
And did the trout all rise to the surface
at one time just to feed on your beauty?

On even the coldest days the memory
still never fails to warm my heart.
Funny how tomorrow I might smile
thinking of that day so long ago,
and the next shed tears abundant as the falls
that in concert with the sun
sang you forever into my heart.

r ~ 4/4/14

i am less than human.
i am a creature that breathes just as they do,
but i am less than them.

i love to believe that i'd fit in
and be a real human some day,
but the little scars on my wrists and legs
move up and become more visible,
screaming
     "here i am"
     "come see"
     "look at how well i can hate"

i am less than human,
where i am a museum of
lazy little razors.

You
Make
Me
Insecure
By
The
Games
You
Play
With
My
Mind

A black and white setting is what reaches my vision
Blurred voices going back and forth

I was here and it was two of me
One stading next to him and the other me watching this all play out

His eyes were wet and red pleading me to say something
But I was speechless
needless to say a heartbreak goes a long way
Big or small
There were still things I should have said
Things like

I need you
We've connected in so many ways
You woke up a part of me that I thought never existed
I thought you would be to good to be true because your everything that I've always wanted
Your all I have, all I want
And I love you.

Now your gone and this hurts because these are things that I should have said :(