I wish that things didn’t have to be
So complicated between you and me
You love another so I stand there waiting at your door
You feed me scraps and I never ask for more
My head’s always overcomplicating
Every little flaw that I see is another reason you should stay away from me
And it’s sickening to know that I’ll have to live with always being on my own
But for now, you’re my ticket out of all the mess I have to deal with eventually
Not right now, not when you’re here with me

Loving you is like chasing the moon
What seems so close is still coming soon
Part of me knows this is pointless but my body’s moving on it’s own
And before I knew it, I’m relearning everything I’ve ever known

It’s such a simple thing to do, walk away from you
Just turn my head and make sure to avoid looking back
And yet I find myself stuck looking into your eyes
Hoping you’re also looking into mine and seeing what I’ve seen for months now
Deep down I know I’ll end up heartbroken
But you’re just too perfect, you could never break my heart the way others do
Probably the reason why I’m stuck with you

Swore not to fall too hard into something knowing I can’t get up
Call it what you will, call it what you must
Do I just like you or am I in love?
I can’t decide, but what I do know for sure
Is that I wouldn’t mind seeing you behind my door
We could laugh on my porch, freeze this moment in time
That’s when I can guarantee I’ll be feeling fine

Loving you is like chasing the moon
What seems so close will never come anytime soon
And I know this is pointless but all I can do is run
Hoping I’ll eventually catch up to a new someone

I’m chasing shadows
That can never be caught
You’re hanging in gallows
Hoping life can be bought
Maybe if you never look my way
We’ll never know it’s not enough

Cold and tired
But I'm covered and can't sleep
Sad and angry
But I won't let myself scream or weep

I hate repetition

Falling in love with someone
Seeing them
Skipping my heart a beat
Having butterfly in my stomach

I hate repetition

Falling in love with someone
Trying to get to know them
Communicating through chat
Talking to them with awkward pitch

I hate repetition

Falling in love with someone
Wanting them
Needing them so bad
Getting attached

I hate repetition

Falling in love with someone
Loving them
Loving them everyday and night
Loving them like a stitch

I hate repetition

Falling in love with someone
Trying hard to not hurt them
Extinguishing the spark
Ditching or being ditched

I hate repetition
Loving them
Loving them
Loving them

I hate repetition
Hurting them
Hurting them
Hurting them

I hate repetition
Being broken
Being broken
Being broken

I hate repetition
I hate repetition
I hate repetition
I hate repetition

I hate repetition
I ******* hate it.

My soul heavy, chasing material desires
Frustrated by the iron chains that hold me down
Heavy on me,
sinking me
into hot
scorching
magma.

As I try to become more and more God-like,
I get filled with more emptiness
more nothingness
I cremate
into ashes
and scatter across the void

I feel the horror
and anger
and fear
and whatever it is
and an inability to understand.

I feel paranoid
and confused
and just wished it was all clear

I feel stupid

And I'm sorry.

I don't know since when you chose to leave.
What i already know is that you never accept me anyway.
But there was time when you make me feel my presence.
Not just that, but also my existence.
That one beautiful moment for me who keep coming back to you.
Or maybe i never really come into your life.
But it's okay, life is full of confusion anyway.

There are so many words i'd like to say.
But i know you'll laugh at it all the way.
Because maybe you think i'm a joker and you're one of my masterpiece.
I don't know why god made it this way.
Like a beautiful rose that filled with thorns.

It's the third time for me to let you go.
But saying "goodbye" for me is just another "hello".
Like we usually do.
Like we did it now.