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Still walking the road with numerous turns, unexpected twists
and transitions that needed and were destined to transpire.
Some where along that road came hope when I felt all was lost;
came also understanding that I've always been my best friend.

Looking back to less than five years ago when I was homeless.
It wasn't the best of times in my life; but, forever unforgettable.

If I could create a headline it would read:

Thrice disabled, abandoned with kids housewife & soccer mom
forced to leave a home so loving restored with her own hands.

Doors of charities I'd been so generous to, slammed in my face
by very same hands and smiling faces that took my donations.
Where were all those warm smiles when we were in need?
We were denied shelter at places intended to house homeless.

Rude treatment, having possessions stolen and treated badly;
That became a way of life, none of us had ever known.
With no place to live and no one who would lend a hand in area,
we settled for making a home for a few days in our vehicle.

Drove to a different county.

Authorities knew; gave permission to sleep under a bridge.
Gone are those days and never to return to me or my kids.
That time in my life showed me that I'm emotionally strong,
and the only person I can truly count on in this area, is me.

Looking back at how far I've come, I'm proud of me.



.
Dear Alexander, this isn't another "Dear John" letter! : )
This is my letter to a very sweet guy who is my friend.
You are still my trusted confidant after all these years.
I share with you all the things I never share with most.

Each day I wake and begin my day with positive attitude.
Meditating under darkened skies before light kisses earth.
Feeling cleansed and well rested after meditation session.
Hoping that thing in my tree isn't the Devil from Jersey.

Yes, that large, dark, silent and winged figure visits still.
When I caught sight of him, I actually pinched myself.  
Closed my eyes and he was still there; maybe it's lonely.
Trying to find humor, this isn't covered by animal control.

Sealed with a big hug,

Betty
 Mar 2014 Dezi Marshall
Schmucker
To the lady who thinks she's part fish or something.*
Yes I'm a rude *** ******* when I want to be.  
Is there truth in handles?
My handle is a play on my name AND I admit,
one of my all time favorite activities.
Why hit follow the Schmucker?
Not exactly seeking anyone lonely lady.
You spending hours mass producing poems
screams and shouts no life to me.
I go for women who have actually real lives.
Maybe you are a sea nymph luring men to death.
Hey maybe you sing seductively and you charming.
Maybe you a music instrument making notes and
maybe you full of steam.
Hell maybe you a eel type salamander with
permanent gills and no hind legs.
Seen a pic and a SMOKIN' anything?
Hell to the no! You not to me!
 Mar 2014 Dezi Marshall
Schmucker
We don't see eye to eye much.
You got plenty of opinions.
You frustrate the hell out of me.
You tell me truth I don't like.
You feisty and you tell it like it is.
For the hell of it I like to tease you.
I want to spank your *** sometimes.
Not a brutal beating but a tap or two.
I do that I know I get my *** beat
by bro Swain and company.
Debating with you gets me going.
You **** me off when you right.
Admitting I like it when you right.
I can't get mad at you or stay mad
because you adorable like a kitten.
I feel cared about when you set me straight.
Betty Ponder you are like that last piece of
delicious pie my mom said I can't have when
I was a kid.
I think about you at day break & as the sun sets.
When I should be sleeping............I think of you.
I'd love to share my life with you again.
A few of a zillion reasons....I love you as I do.
First and foremost.....you are easy to love.
Would not love you if you were full of yourself.
We can talk all night & I'm never bored.
Love your comfort level in new situations.
You ooze genuine confidence Pet!
I can guarantee I'd walk away if.....
you turned gossipy busy body &
worried about what Jane Doe was doing.
Love how you keep focus on your own life &
could care less what people say about you.
You live in positive mode 24/7.  
You face your problems and fears head on.
You never deliberately try to inflict pain.
You don’t spend time with people who
**** the positive energy out you.
You got looks, brains, personality &
many talents....
You're unique & special
Betty Ponder!
 Feb 2014 Dezi Marshall
Frank
I bought a bag of candy hearts
and spread them out on my table.
I read the little messages of love
I asked myself this
Which one would she like?
I don't know you
but here's what I know.
Created some sayings for
my own virtual hearts
giving them all to you.
You are easy on the eye
No doubt you are gorgeous!
You are who I should have
picked to date.
My mom would like you.
She's never wrong.
You are very talented.
You are a sweetie.
I want to buy you roses.
You are a positive person.
Don't mind your haters.
Ignore the jealous.
It is what it is.
You are special.
You are a great poet.
You are great at what you do.
Your pics makes me smile.
Wish I could meet you.
I'm in deep like of you.
I'm not obsessed
I like what I see.
I visit your profiles daily.
Happy St. Valentine's Day
to you the very unique,
very talented and lovely
Ms. Betty Ponder
 Feb 2014 Dezi Marshall
Frank
It's called great at writing poetry
for a reason.
I want to feel something when I read a poem.
Not good at writing but I know a
great one when I read it.
Poetry is about writing about feelings
and what hurts or makes you happy.
You can write blah blah words
but a real poet makes people feel
with what they write
like you do in your poems.
A good poem has problems
that sometimes need solving.
A good poem makes the
reader want to know more
about the author.
Difference between a good poet
and a bad one is:
Great poetry tells a story
and makes you feel something.
Bad poetry is blah blah blah words.
Flowery words are nice
but great poetry it's not.
That's how I feel about poetry.
I said I wasn't gonna be like
the other dudes and write
about you.
Feel like a hypocrite but it's all good.
I read a lot of poems on this site
some garbage and most good.
Read some who give instructions
on how to write poems.
That's one persons opinion only.
Here is mine:
I would say that you
Ms. Betty Ponder
are one of the best at writing
poetry and words.
 Feb 2014 Dezi Marshall
Frank
To my ex and all the women who turned
their noses up at me when I was waiting
to be called back to my job.
Losing my job weeded out the fakes.
As my old man would say, "Real friends stick
with you through thick and thin."
My old man was right.

Not seeking anything from you except
becoming friends.
I got my old job back two weeks ago.
I'm not seeking money had generous savings.
I'll have my benefits back but didn't lose 401k.
My home is P.I.F. .
Don't get me wrong I have friends.
I outgrew most of them because
they didn't grow mentally with me.
Not saying they *******.
They got no interests in traveling beyond
our small community.
Reading your posts know you can relate to that,
They are nothing like you and I like that.

I want what the others have with you.
I want someone warm like as my friend.
I want someone I can kick it with on line.
I want someone fun like you in my life.
I want to be a part of your inner circle.
I can't send messages or comment on Google+.
I would love to be a part of discussions.
You don't allow adding on your Facebook.
That's all good.

I will give you all you need to have me
checked out with a P.I. if you want.
I'm harmless and I've never served time
behind bars.
I loved reading your poem about Vets.
I'm a Vet. but never fought a war.
Left the military but I served my county.
What would be great is
to chat with you on messenger.

What I know is:
I can't be a chicken **** if I want to get to know you.
It worked for T. Stevens Ms. Betty Ponder.
You were the dream maker lacking impediments and I the wanting of nothing.
Hesitant heart of mine leery of blissful nature of love thou bestowed upon me.
Whilst thou who is handsome of face and perfection of body lay in slumber's state,
took flight in night and prayed I would not waken the keeper of frightened heart.

T'was you my gallant knight who stole  my heart when least I wanted or expected,
t'was you who brought light to the darkness of dreams and made night terrors fade.
You who never questioned where I'd been but sought to bring out the best in me.
Life with you my kindred spirit was near perfection with never a dull moment.
Not the *** Rated vers. I wanted to post Pet!* [smiles & winks]

You love are my reason I desire to see mornings....
your gorgeous face haunts & enchants my mind.  
I can sense your heart beating in amplified fashion.
Awakening from dreams.....your pillow is still vacant.
That Valentine's day & night we spent together...Incredible!
Loved the way you served up my breakfast in bed.
Love how you saved all my gifts....I saved the pics I took.
You posing bare on that bear skin rug by the fireplace?
******!....Seductive!....Delicious image!.......Unforgettable!!
Had to stop typing remembering your lust filled voice....
still love our way of enjoying strawberries and cream.
If we were a couple again.....how would we top that love?
We'd find a way Betty Ponder....you are the reason I breath.

The images I captured will forever be for my eyes only.

Happy Valentine's Day Pet,
My heart is yours forever love!


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