i like to swing sideways
and laugh when i am alone
i like to stand naked in the rain in the summertime
and leave naughty messages to myself on my phone

i love to clean my ears
and tickle a spot on my right hip
and i like to wear reading glasses i dont need on my head
and i like to play with this little hair thats on my upper lip

i love the smell of gasoline
i like to shave my arms and feet
i like to bite my toenails off (come on doesnt everybody)
i love to smear mayo and jelly on almost every kind of meat

i love vinegar on broccoli
i almost always like to feel sad
Most people i know think im just plain old crazy
But the one who knows me best calls me barking mad!!!!!!!!

You see by the candle,
But don't get burned,
That's all because....
I hold it.

And that thing that seems,
To do as you bid,
That's only because....
I scold it.

That breeze that comes,
When you just so need it,
It comes because....
I blow it.

And the love that you feel,
That you deserve,
You only find because ....
I show it.

And that welcome bed,
Where you always lie,
Is there because....
I make it.

And the pain you flail,
So deliberately,
Hurts only as long as...
I take it!

I prayed the angels would speak to me,
Even just a whisper in a dream,
To enlighten me with wisdom; truth,
As things are rarely as they seem.
And oh how amazing after one single prayer
I would receive just what I pled,
But oh how painful it was to hear,
The words the angels said.

May my soul be the one to settle you,
When there is no peace to be found.
And my hands be the ones to lift you up,
When you've fallen to the ground.
May my lips be the ones to whisper,
All the words that you so need to hear,
And my shoulder be the one you cry on,
When you lose something very dear.
May my ears be the ones that listen to,
All the things you are longing to say,
And my knees be the ones at the altar,
When you can't find the strength to pray.
May my eyes lead you out of the darkness,
When you've become unable to see,
Please allow me to do all of this for you,
Because you've done all of this for me.

Single life at times can be,
Very lonely, it is true.
But let's just take a closer look,
In a slightly different hue.

Cooking ..it is optional.
The laundry...it can wait.
You can go to bed early,
Or stay up way too late.

You can choose just to sit,
Naked or in underwear,
And not worry about modesty,
Cause no one else is there.

You can wake up and decide,
To be carefree and roam,
Take a nice long road trip,
And maybe not come home.

You can use the silence,
To write lots of poetry,
And flirt on the internet,
With another, hassle-free.

Also no need to shut the door,
To the bathroom while you ***,
So now can you see the upside,
Of being single...just like me.

Sometimes it just hits me,
(be it sunset or sunrise,)
A quirky grin; a funny look
from a similar pair of eyes.
And I begin to grieve again,
(be it a moment or a day)
For the love I never really knew,
Until it up and went away.
It's no matter, where he is now,
(be it miles or next door,)
For he is just a hollow ghost,
Of the one I know no more.

And now I must dissect the past
And seperate every part
Every wrong decision
And every broken heart
Regrets I'll place off to the left
Unheard "I love you's" have their place
Useless dreams..they go on the right
By the memories of your face
Wasted years and loneliness
They will all go in a stack
Right beside all my love for you
Love that you never gave me back.

You appeared sturdy, stable, and  secure,
The day that we shared our first glance.
I knew all along your intentions were pure.
I never questioned, and just took a chance.

And for a long while you comforted me,
And wiped all of my hoarded tears,
But there was something I failed to see,
Your heart was full of grief and  fears.

You kept all your worries hidden inside,
Disguised so that I would not see.
And carried a smile alongside your pride
I didn't know that you needed me.

Lets float on the surface
Where the sun plays with the waves
In infinite ways of beautiful
In a peaceful sated daze.
Where the sounds are crisp and clear
And the light tricks our eyes
Lets just float here buoyant; free
Abandoned to the skies.
Think nothing of whats underneath
Where all the sounds becomes one hum
And the sun can't seem to penetrate
And weighted we become
No, lets just float on the surface
Be tickled by the waves
In infinite ways of beautiful
For infinite length of days.

Straight back chairs and tiny round tables,
Nearby Homer and Aesop's fables,
Stoic posture and wire-rimmed glasses,
All gather together after classes.

I stepped into the darkened space,
Where I was sent to be.
To dwell on things and meditate,
Alone with only me.

And yes 'tis true, I desired it such,
And mentioned it to you.
But shortly later, I changed my mind,
But all that was in view...

Was a quiet little breathing room,
With no air to spare.
And so I came out,.. and looked about,
But you were no longer there.

Bring it on!
I am ready!
For whatever comes my way!
I can't afford to give up now!
Today was just a day!

What next?
Sure, I'll take it!
Nothing will keep me down!
I have been through so much worse!
And I simply refuse to frown!

More trouble?
I can handle it!
For I am weak no more!
I will just take it all in stride!
And be stronger than before!

Adversity?
Yes, I know him!
In fact we've become great friends!
Without him, life would be boring!
So I'm just gonna enjoy it.....................til it ends!

I could use a quiet place,
To feed my inner self.
Constant chaos has succeeded
In placing me on a shelf.

Yesterday I helped him out,
The day before, it was she.
Today I woke up with a vow,
This was the day for me.

But again another crisis evolved,
And my attention was turned away,
And my best friend, my lonely soul,
Was neglected another day.

Day after day the same has occurred
And so the cycle has come to be,
And I am uncertain if I am still here,
Not sure that there is still a "ME."

Perhaps one day you'll write for me
Like in the days of old
You let love go
it will come back
at least that's what I'm told

Perhaps one day I'll be the one
Oh would you be so bold
Just let love go
It will come back
At least that's what I'm told.

Perhaps you just might not return
Is that how it will unfold
I let love go
And it got lost
And now it's freezing cold.

When the coffee turned into tea
And she was faced with that real-i-ty
Her world suddenly stopped spinning.
The walls rushed in... not one by one
The ceiling fell in to shut out the sun
And she called this the beginning.
Of life without truth and reason
Over and over...no change of season
Would ever breech the tomb within.
And over time she did go blind
Left with only the echoes of her mind
And she was never seen again.

The pulse is thready now
What once fed life is gone
The eyes and mind flit away
While the change is sown
And nature knows just how
To make all else carry on
As if it were just a day
As if it were never known

The waste of many years spent, neglectful, chaste.
The passing of time with trivial toilings - stealing,
Nature's harkened plea.
Come to me! For I am the enduring.
And you belong to me.

Smell the ripened apple, view landscapes' vast abode.
Dive into thy river's broad; Eye with wonder upon:
Mountain, vale, and sky.
For you are of me, and they; you..fixed.
Hear thy Nature's cry!

Each hour, whispered feet, they travel nearer to thee,
To meet with deafening silence, feast while you may.
See, feel, listen..be soothed.
From whence body born, you will return.
By Nature's way..removed.

All at once, I feel the warmth,
As the sun springs into view.
And lays it beam all over me,
As I stand right here with you.

Our hands resting weightlessly,
Within each others', by our side.
And we stand here so at ease,
Nothing to prove; nothing to hide.

No need to utter any words,
We know what each other would say,
So we just enjoy the quietness,
Of another most beautiful day.

Pick wise your memories!
We can't retain all.
For our brain's capacity,
Is ever so small.

Make light of heartaches,
Embrace love, banish hate.
For our heart's capacity,
Is ever so great!

Stunned as one who has lost focus,
By spinning with closed eyes,
Until the brain leeches skull,
And reality only sighs.
Groping for the ground,
Perplexed and weak and worn,
Between the place of right and wrong,
Of lies and truth be torn.

I was sure I held a certainty,
As sure as if I could touch.
Secure it would always be there,
And I treasured it so much.

I tended to it very diligently,
Acquired all the needed tools.
Followed all the instructions,
(Instructions written by fools.)

I nurtured it with loving care,
Offered all of the staple demands,
Listened to all of its' concerns,
Held it safely in both of my hands.

I presented it all, all of my own self,
Completely, not hoarding even a part,
Certain that the same care that I gave,
Would be returned in kind to my heart.

This delusion soon proved untrue,
And the effort I had given was denied.
I must have grasped it too tightly,
And the less I got, the harder I tried.

"I think I can still salvage this."
"Maybe I have misunderstood?"
For it was such a certainty.
I could try again. I should!

My good nature was overlooked,
My intentions; perceived wrong.
"That must be it! It had to be!"
Why would certainty say, "So long?"

I will send a letter just to make sure,
I will place just one more text,
No response? They weren't delivered!
Now what should I do next?

It can not be that I'm being ignored,
When I have given my best.
Then the words that burned like fire,
"Please just give it a rest."

I long for understanding,
To ease my spirits' mind.
And search so hard for answers
That I will never find.

And now I've been forgotten,
So forgotten I shall be.
Hoping soon that the reason,
Won't matter much to me.

And move on with the knowledge,
That there is no certainty.

"Crackle" goes the brittle leaf
Orphaned by the tree.
"Shh!" the doe responds to it
"The hunter's after me!"
The hunter takes his aim and whispers
"I've got you now..at last!"
Until the bear sneaks up behind
and grinds out,"not so fast!"

All at once change arrives and swiftly,deftly...  alters all.
Unprepared and caught off guard we struggle not to fall.

And facing the unfamiliar instills us all with fear.
Not knowing to expect a smile or to expect a tear.

And the things we held so close to heart and believed would never go,
Are now nowhere in our sight or reach, for change has made it so.

Yet we are still expected by society and nature in kind,
To plod ahead courageously, uncertain what we'll find.

And so the sun rises yet again, another morn, another day.
And we must rise right along with it, and head about our way.

Grasping out so carefully, for things, which we believe,
Time itself can never change, and things that will not leave.

And we hold them tight with iron grip, as close as close can be.
But once again change arrives and rips them away.... so easily.

And once our years have wisened us, we learn to take this heed:
Change can alter any moment and truly nothing is guaranteed.

I cleaned out my closet,
Earlier today,
And with very little thought,
Threw most everything away.

But I found a few lost feelings,
On the top shelf, in a stack,
A pile of old photographs,
Of times I can't get back.

And tears I had already cried,
Returned to me again.
And I foolishly wished things could be,
The way they were back then.

But there is no chance of that,
I shouldn't dwell on it anymore.
You are not the same person at all,
The person I loved before.

What would I do without you!
Well I certainly couldn't be ME!
"Coffee, you've never let me down."
And you taste so much better than tea!

They've been tossed around alot;
I myself have thrown some too;
Right back from whence they came;
Except for the ones from you.
Those... I tucked in my coat pocket;
The very best and brightest kind,
Like the most beautiful diamonds,
Anyone could ever hope to find.
And yet, even with the care I kept
I could not find them later on
Just like post-parade street trash
So very quickly they'd be gone.
Maybe if they weighed a bit more
Or if they weren't so paper-thin,
I wouldn't find just an empty pocket
Where my keepsakes should've been.

If my heart could purge every mistake,
Made for nothing but pretense sake,
Just where would I be now?

{Well it can't...so I just don't know
How befitting! that hope should go}

If my mind could still and never sway,
So many times throughout every day,
Would I still err somehow?

{Well it won't and I'm sure I will
I'm not the type meant to be still}

If my hands would only long to hold,
The two same hands until I grew old,
Would I wish to savor?

{But they don't and I don't think so
And just why I may never know}

And so I will choose to conform to me
I'll be kind and flippant, and also free
And do myself that favor.

Might there be a little less mundane, a few less wasted days in pursuit of trivial things. More well-chosen words and well-received wisdom. Less appropriateness and more import. This would be a life well-lived.

Could I be a monster?
Cold blood flowing blue.
Heartache lying in my wake,
Monsters need love too!

We used to climb trees.
Scramble up them with our friends
There wasn't anything in those trees we needed
Nothing waiting to be claimed on the highest branch
It was just a tree
And we climbed it for fun's sake
Coming home with splinters,
Scraped knees and embedded dirt.
And the next day, guess what we did?
We climbed the ******* tree again.
Until the world taught us fear
And the tree wasn't fun anymore.
And so it goes on and on really.
Until simple seems so difficult
That we no longer have the courage
To truly live.

Just a jumble
By a troubled mind
Or perhaps a tired one
Who looks through frosted glass
For all the parts to make the whole
Of you.
Collecting your past acts
And contrary present,
All of your tells and words,
Truths and indescrepancies
The slightest of body language
To form an image of a soul
That is unknown
And upon finding the concoction
Rather plain
I can add a little smoke
Or a little drink
And quite simply
Take all those pieces apart
Study them; scrutinize them up close
Until they all blur and skip a bit
Then rearrange them all
Repeating this process
Of infinite possibilities
Until the result is either too beautiful to truly love,
Or too hideous to abandon.
This is how I determine who you are.
By how I construct you
And how I perceive you
In this light or that.
In limitless dimensions,
You easily become
Someone I can love or hate
Hold or let go of
Regard or disregard
I can do this forever.
You are irrelevant.

If we could take all the tiny impressions
And all the memory shards
Of the overlooked insignificant moments
And put them altogether
With the great ones
Perhaps a full soul could be made.