Everyday we go through
Heaven and Hell.
It's a constant battle:
Good versus Evil.

We go through so much
Pain and Heartbreak,
Joy and Excitement
But we're overwhelmed.

For every positive feeling,
There's a negative feeling.
For some of us, that
Negative becomes too powerful.

We become flooded by all
The could've, should've, would've,
The maybes and what ifs.
We forget the little things.

We lose our friends, but
Depression and Anxiety.
We feel dark and cold inside
And we isolate ourselves.

Don't get too close to us
Because we're contagious!
Every second we fade
Deeper into our minds.

We want the world to
Stop so we can relax
And clear our minds
But it just spins faster.

We become so overwhelmed
By negativity that we push
Those close to us further
Because we don't want to hurt them.

Our minds become a whirlpool,
A black hole, pulling us
Down faster and further
And there is no escape.

The only way to stop this,
In our heads, is to say
"The end"
Maybe then it will end.

But it doesn't have to end.
As writers of our lives,
We can end it
Or we can pause.

We can end it with
An "!", "?", or "."
But instead let's pause with
A semicolon.

A semicolon let us
Breathe and gather our thoughts.
It tells everyone that
It's not over yet; just paused.

As writers of our lives,
Pause and rethink our decision
Because our stories are not over yet;
There's so much more left.

Regret nothing from our past.
Rethink no decisions made
Or decisions that we didn't make.
Live in the now and for the future.

We owe it to our friends,
To our families, and
Most importantly to ourselves
To not end but pause.

We all crash and burn, and
That could be the end but
We can be the Phoenix and rise
From the ashes stronger and better.

There are times when I
Felt like giving up and saying
The end, but I remember
My friends and family and the good times.

I could've ended my story
Making it into a tragedy
But instead of ending every sentence,
I paused and carried on.

My story isn't over yet
Because there are no much
That I want to do in life:
Medical school, marriage, kids.

My story is not complete
And I don't want to
Leave a cliffhanger for
My friends, family, everyone.

Out stories are not over yet.
We have so much to live for.
We have so many goals:
Graduation, Job, Love.

Insp;re each other and
Everyone going through the same thing.
Be the warr;ors we are determined to be
And f;ght hard like your life depends on it.

Insp;re!
Be a warr;or!
F;ght on!
Our stories are not over yet.

Robert Frost said,
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood."
We have two choices.
Pick carefully; it'll make all the difference.

Pick left and end your story
With an "!", "?", or "."
Or pick right and pause
Your story with a semicolon.

**Insp;re!
Be a warr;or!
F;ght on!
Our stories are not over yet;

You empty your pockets and remove anything metal.
Walk between the metal detectors and all
The lights and sounds go off. They pull you aside and
They frisk you for
Your cellphone, iPod, earings, rings, wallet, headphones, coins,
Privacy, and dignity.
They find nothing and let you walk to the terminal but
You remember that they forgot to take something. You spin
Around and give them the finger.

My life is full of
Ups and downs, and
No matter how hard I try
I get pulled back further

To the point where
I'm gonna crash and
Burn and bring everyone
And everything with me.

The pressure
The tension
The would've, should've, could've
And the ifs and maybes.

The mistakes
Of my past
And of the present.
What happen to no regrets?

Slowly my life is pulling
Me backwards and
Creating tension between
The past and present.

The further back I'm pulled,
The more I lose hold of reality.
I fight the tension; I'm gonna explode!
But I'm held in place.

I'm the Arrow
And my life's the Bow.
It pulls me back
And I'm ready to explode!

It pulls me back
Dragging me through the past
Exposing me to all
My weaknesses and strengths.

It aims me in the
Right direction.
I'm pulled back and
I'm gonna hit the intended target.

I'm the Arrow.
My life's the Bow.
It pulls me back
So I can hit my goal.

What comes
To mind when
I say the word
Beauty?
A model?
An athlete?
A movie star?
What comes
To mind when
You hear the word
Beauty?
The laugh?
The voice?
What comes
To mind when
You see the word
Beauty?
The smile.
The walk.
The eyes.
What comes to mind
When I hear the word
Beauty?
Sweetness.
Intelligence.
Cuteness.
Niceness.
Beauty,­ to me, is neither
Outer nor inner;
It’s both.
My beauty is a book
With chapters titled
Intelligence,
Cuteness,
Niceness,
Sweetness,
Outgoing,
With the final chapter
Of my beauty titled
Warm heartedness.
That’s my beauty…
What’s yours?

Our hearts are bleeding
The hearts of people everywhere
All the wars
Are making our hearts bleed
Every death cuts deeper
With every home destroyed
With every life ruined
With every nation devastated
Our hearts bleed
We bleed the blood of everyone
With every name calling
Every act of discrimination
Every act of racism
Our hearts bleed the most
Because words hurt the most
Because words stay with us the longest
Our hearts bleed every single day
Because we go through so much
Pain and suffering and devastation
Our bleeding hearts
Bleed the same blood
As you and me
Because we are the same person
When we are attacked
By words
By weapons
By other people
Our hearts bleed
With the blood of comfort
Because we know everyone is united

I feel the pillow’s coolness
As I fall asleep every night,
A smile forms from ear to
Ear as I begin to drift away.

I begin to levitate off my bed
With every breath I take and
The smile grows bigger and
A sigh slips through my lips.

My eyes begin to swell and
Tears fall down my cheeks
And I can’t believe what I’m
Seeing with own two eyes.

I feel warmth in my heart as
I see a Caterpillar of beautiful
Colors and she comes towards
Me ever so slowly inch by inch.

I stare into her beautiful eyes
And I feel the warmth spreads
To my entire body, and seeing
Her warms my body and soul.

With every beat of my heart,
The warmth drowns me and
I sweat beads of an emotion
That I’ve never felt before.

As I begin to walk towards her,
She disappears before I had the
Chance to talk to her and tell
Her that she’s the most prettiest

Caterpillar I’ve seen in my life,
That I can stare into her eyes
Forever, hear her laugh forever,
And get lost in her personality.

Floating higher in to the clouds,
I see a cocoon shimmering in the
Sun and I wish I could’ve talked
To her but I know that in the end,

She will emerge into a beautiful
Butterfly and I will wait for her,
No matter how long that’ll be,
Because she will more beautiful.

Days turn to weeks and weeks
Turn to months, and I float to
The Heavens and I cry buckets
Of tears as the cocoon opens

And I see the most prettiest and
Most graceful Butterfly I’ve ever
Seen in the world. My stomach
Begins to ache and my heart sinks

As I am left speechless at what
I see and what I’ve experienced.
Wings begin to form on my back
And I begin to fly towards her.

Her pretty eyes hypnotizes me
And her smile makes me smile.
Her laughter is contagious and
Being in her presence melts me.

I’ve grown during the wait and
I can say from the bottom of my
Heart that you’re the beautiful
Butterfly that I see in my dreams.

After so long I can say that I’m
Your Butterfly Dreamer and you
Are my Beautiful Butterfly Angel
And I’m happy to have met you

In Heaven.

My little ray of sunshine,
You being nothing but joy
And laughter to my life.
You bring warmth to my heart.

Every time you smile,
I can’t help but smile.
Every time your laugh,
I can’t help but laugh more.

Your cute, soft voice saying
“Bless you, Uncle David!”
When I sneezed that one time
Still echoes when I need a smile.

Your infectious giggles as
I tickle your belly or your toes
Makes me giggle like a schoolgirl
At a Hello Kitty store or seeing K-pop.

Your little smile, from ear to ear,
Showing your little, baby teeth
Brings smile to my smile
Even in my darkest of times.

Watching you do the “Baby Shark”
Dance last Thanksgiving brought
Endless smiles and laughter and
I watch it every time I can’t go on.

When I hear that you tell your class
That “my Uncle David’s gonna be a
Doctor”
I choke up and tears flow down my face.

I think of you during my darkest times
When I have my depressive phases and
Suicidal thoughts
Because I wanna make you proud

To have me as your Uncle David,
To see you smile and hear you laugh
More than I do now,
To hear you tell me someday

“I’m proud of you, Uncle David.
I’m proud to call you my uncle.
You’re my inspiration, role model.
I wanna be you when I grow up.”

Seeing you grow up in pictures
Make me miss you more and more
But I bust my *** every day and night
To make sure you can tell your class

“My Uncle David is a doctor!”
I watch your pictures and videos
And I tear and cry because you’re
Growing so fast before my eyes.

Charlotte Harper,
Thank you for being my ray of
Sunshine and for bringing me
Smile and laughter.

Thank you for being my reason
To wake up every morning and
Sleeping every night.
I’m here for you, Charlotte Harper

My big ray of sunshine.

For as long as we can remember, man yearns to fall in love
With the woman of his dreams but all he can do is hate
Himself for doing what his heart tells him to do: just wait.
To him the word love is just black
And white.
For man, love is nothing; it’s just blind.

Here’s a story from a man who was colorblind
When he was in the South he had fallen in love
With a Southern belle of White
But all he could feel were the stares of hate.
Since she was White and he was Black
He decided to travel up North and wait

For the Southern belle to waltz into his life so he waited
And he waited to no avail. He though that love is so blind.
If you looked at him, you can tell he’s a man of Black,
But deep down he is no different because love
Does not discriminate; it does not hate
If you are Red, Yellow, Black, or White.

What’s wrong with Blacks dating Whites?
Patience is a virtue so just wait
And do not hate
Because even a man who is blind
Can see that when two people fall in love
Race shouldn’t matter because love is never in white or black.

Why not turn off the lights and make the room black
And we will see a bright light and a figure in white.
That is our conscious and it tells us to love who we love
And never to stand in line and wait
And to never close your eyes and be blind
Because our cultures always hate

That we are in love with a race or culture they disapprove
But we stand on a mountain and scream that love is not black
And white. The people can only turn and be blind
Because the man and woman are not Black or White
Or of the same race, but we tell them to wait.
Just wait and see what happens because after all, it is love.

Take off the masks that blind you and make you feel nothing but hate
Because we are all in love whether we are Black,
Red, Yellow, or White because this is love and we can only do one thing: wait.

Hey how was your day? It was ok I guess
I don’t know what else to say
Or how else to describe the “normal” day
In the life of someone who just wants each day to pass

Smoothly and quietly so I won’t suffer any more
Because my head is spinning outta control
And I...I hate to admit but it’s taking its toll
To the point where I’m always “tired” and becoming a bore.

What is reality and what is fiction
Cloud my head and my thoughts
And I can’t feel anything but remorse
Because I’m losing traction towards my mission

Of being the best that I can be.
Wanna go to the beach today?
I wish I could but I don’t know what to say
And how to say it so I tell y’all that I wanna flee

Because I’m too busy and I’m too tired.
I tried telling y’all what that means to me
But no matter how hard I try, y’all just disagree
And believe that I’m nothing but just a coward

But the truth is my “tiredness” and “busyness” are overwhelming
And I feel like I can’t keep on going
Or living the life I’m living right now because not knowing
What life will bring me the next second is numbing.

Y’all think I was lying when I say that I’m busy
And the truth is...yea I am lying
I’m not lying about being busy though; I’m dying
And what’s going on in my head is making me dizzy.

I’m busy in ways that many people don’t understand:
I’m busy breathing deeper
My heart is racing like a NASCAR driver
And I’m busy calming it down and

I’m busy telling myself every day and night
And every moment that I’m okay.
Deep down I’m searching for the words to say
To my friends and family that I’m alright

But I’m screaming on the inside
Because I’m done hiding from all y’all
And I’m done feeling so **** small.
I’m gonna take every stride with pride rather than run and hide

From my fears and demons because I have so much pride
In the person I have become
And I’m done feeling numb
So I decide to not be denied

From reaching  my dream to provide
Happiness and laughter worldwide
Alongside taking care of those who think why’d
Nobody is taking care of us but I’ll stand up say I’d

Dear diary,
How was my day?
Oh you know...
The usual.

Falling gracefully from the sky
Makes me sit and ponder why
Do you feel so cold and sad
And why do I feel like I’m going mad
Because I don’t want to say good bye

To my family and my friends
If I feel this road only bends
Neither left nor to the right
And this life just isn’t bright
But I look through my two lens

And realize it ain’t so depressing
As I do nothing all day but stressing
About all the what ifs and maybes
And I will not cry like a group of twenty babies
Because I know that this is a blessing

Since your tears are cold and wet
You’re telling me that it’s not over yet
Because I have so much potential
And opportunities that are existential
And I agree that this isn’t over yet.

The days are hectic
The nights are long
Sleep is nonexistent
And the pain is strong
Every night I drink
I drink away my sorrow
I drown it in anything I can find
From soda to water
To my favorite choice of all
I drown my sorrow
Because it is taking over my life
With the pain that I feel
With the things that get in the way
I drown my sorrow
With the happiness
And with the laughter
Of my family and friends

We are bigger than our surrounding
Or that is what we like to think
We tend to think that
Nothing can put us down
No matter how strong the wind may blow
We will not go down
We walk around everyday
With a gait that says, “Big man on campus”
Nothing can frazzle us
Nothing can confuse us
Nothing can get in our way
Or that’s what we like to think
That is our lives in our dreams
We are really elephants amongst mice
The little things rattle us
We freak out when the smallest thing
Gets in our way
And ruins our daily routines
We are elephants amongst mice
And we get shaken up
From the microscopic thing
We cannot continue living our lives
Because what if we see that mouse again?
We are elephants amongst mice
And these mice may look cute
They may look innocent
They may look like nothing
But up close they are life changing
And they are life threatening
We get so paranoid
When the littlest thing happen
To anyone around the world
We are elephants amongst mice
We want to live our lives
The way we want to live them
But thus far these mice are winning
And we sink deeper into paranoia
As we continue to be elephants amongst mice

We are Actors and Actresses
In a play call Life
And we all wear masks to follow the scripts
That God has written for us.
Some of the Plays are Tragedies
And some are Comedies
But most are personal.
We wear masks in the scripts
To hide how we are feeling on the inside.
How we are feeling in our hearts
How we are feeling in our souls
And how we are feeling when with others.
The masks we wear are generic.
We put on a Happy mask when need be
We put on a Sad mask when need be
We put on an Angry mask when need be
And we put on a Confused mask when need be.
All of these masks cover up our true emotions
That we want to show them
But cannot because we are chained to the scripts
Known as Our Lives.
Our true emotions keep on knocking
From the inside but we were created to keep those within.
Showing our true emotions
Will set us free and open the world
To the true feelings of everyone.
The world will be a better place
If everyone shows their true colors
So that our problems will be solved
And our lives will be complete.
Actors and Actresses of God’s play,
Stand up and go to the front of the stage
And break the chains that hold us prisoners
To these masks that we wear.
Dig deep in our hearts,
Dig deep in our souls,
And dig deep in our minds
And find the treasures that are buried within
That we like to call the True Masks of Our Lives.
Break free from these chains
And exit
Stage Life.

Close your eyes...
Take a few deep breaths...
All I hear in my head is...
Failure.

No matter how hard
I try to get that outta
My head...
It echoes.

Failure...
What does that
Even mean?
Am I a...

Am I a failure?
Most will say
Yeah...
I am.

I lost count of
How many times
I’ve failed and
Wanted to give up.

College #1...
Too many classes...
And semesters...
Life?

Maybe...
Maybe I am a...
Failure?
Maybe not?

I looked back on
The things I’ve done
When I fell so far down
And I feel blessed.

Been an EMT for 10 years...
Worked in the ED for 5 years...
Saved hundreds of lives...
Birthed a few.

I cried...
I screamed...
I wanted to quit...
But I didn’t.

When I failed...
I learned so much
About myself
And my purpose.

I learned empathy,
To not hide my emotions,
That things happen
For a reason.

I learned that
It’s ok to fall
But just get back up.
We all fall down.

I learned that
So many people
Support me and
Love me.

I learned that
I’m not alone
And I’m never
Alone.

I learned that
The first few falls
Hurt the most
But it’ll be ok.

I’m never alone.
I’m never alone.
I’m...
I’m never alone.

Am I a failure?
When I close my eyes...
All that echoes is...
You got this!

Am I a failure?
Hell no!

I use to put on different masks
Every day and every night so
I can fit in with certain people.

I use to be shy around everyone
Because I do not know if they
Will judge me if I open my mouth
And say one word like hey.

For the first time in a very long time,
I am not longer shy whenever I am
In your presence because you have

Broken the different masks that I wear
And you have found the true person
That I really am and the person that I
Want everyone in the world to see.

For the first time in many years, I don’t
Have the need or urge to question myself
About my actions or inactions because

I know that you will never judge me like
I am afraid everyone in the world will do
If I open my mouth to them to say hello
Or even when I try and start a conversation.

For the first time in my entire life, I don’t
Have to hide my emotions and true feelings
Behind my poems because I was afraid of what

You and anyone who read them might think.
I used my poems as masks every day and night
Because I don’t know how to show my true
Feelings in words without writing them down.

For the first time in my twenty-one years, I can
Actually say that I am no longer depressed. When
I am around you, I am floating high on a cloud and

I do not want to fall back to Earth and back to reality.
This is a great feeling and I don’t want this to end
Because I am afraid of what my happen and of how
I might feel when this feeling leaves my body.

I am enjoying my life for the first time and
I am enjoying spending every moment with
The one and only person that makes me happy

Whenever I am with that one person. I am happy
That for the first time in my entire life I no longer
Have the need to wear any mask because my life
Is perfect now when I am with that one person.

For the first time in my existence, I have met that
One girl that makes me the happiest man on the f
Face of this beautiful blue and green Earth: you.

Open your ears and tell me what you hear.
A word of only three letters can hurt so many.
People trash talking on the basketball court
Saying that your moves ****
And that he’s all that.
Oh, by the way,
Your moves are just gay?

Walk down the halls of every school,
Middle school
High school
University,
And you will hear,
“Oh my God, he’s so gay.”
Or “…that’s so gay.”

Walk down Main Street of every town,
Your town
My town
His town
Her town,
And you will her kids of all ages saying,
“Don’t be so gay”
Or “You’re gay.”

That word is only three letters long
But it carries a big punch.
It carries the same weight of an atomic bomb.
When you let it go,
Everyone is hurt.
It offends everyone, especially those who are gay

It’s not cool or creative
So the next time you use “gay”
Remember:
“You offend one person,
And you offend everyone.”
Think before you speak.

Why is everything so heavy?
Or at least that how I feel every
Moment when I try to live my life
And I try everything I can just to barely survive

Because no matter how hard I try
I just sit there and cry and wonder why
Everything is becoming so heavy
And honestly I just envy

All my friends who live their lives
While I cut myself with knives
Mentally, emotionally
Irrationally

I try walking away from my battles
But every time my feet hit the grounds it rattles
No matter how hard I try and walk away
Everything becomes heavy either way

My hope, my dreams, my demons on my shoulders
I feel like Atlas holding up boulders
While I’m sinking deeper and deeper
And it feels like I’m being greeted by the grim reaper

With every breath I take
And every move I make
Every thing becomes overwhelming
And I wonder what my life is becoming

Why is everything so heavy?
My world, my life crashing like a levy
During a cat 4 hurricane
And all I can feel is the pain

And suffering every time I fall
And I’m feeling so ******* small
That all I can do is crawl
Away from everyone and everything, goodbye y’all

I’m sinking deeper and deeper into the sand
And I feel like I can but I keep telling myself I can’t
Do anything; I can’t move on
I keep feeling like **** come on!

I keep drowning myself with an irrational emotion
Every second that I should just follow the motion
Of the ocean but the ocean is drowning me
Why is everything so ******* heavy?

My head is spinning outta control
And I feel like I can’t escape this hell hole
And I feel emotions that I never knew existed
But these thoughts and emotions persisted

And my mind becomes twisted
And every time I try to take a breath, I’m restricted
Because my heart is heavy pressing against my lungs
And I’m just rocking and rolling with the every punch that comes

I try to scream but the cat got my tongue
And it’s a constant battle like Apple versus Samsung
Every time I try to scream it’s so **** imposible
That I have tears down my face its improbable

Of me reaching my hopes and dreams
That with every passing second my self esteem’s
Taking a plunge into the icy water
That I tell myself “why do I even bother?”

Nothing I do will change my path to
Where I wanna go but I wanna shout to you
Help me!
Safe me from this endless nightmare I plea

Because it’s pulling me deeper and deeper
How can I make this any clearer
To y’all my family and my friends
That I need to make some amends

Because I’m not ready to say the end
To everyone who helped me comprehend
What is right and what is wrong
And what I can do to make myself strong

Mentally, physically, emotionally
Thank you for loving me unconditionally
And being there for me inspirationally
Now I’m functioning socially and intellectually

I wish I had said this sooner
Help me!
Save me!

Imagine a world with peace.
Imagine a world with harmony.
There will be no wars or conflicts.
There will be no hatred.
Innocent people will not die.
Families will never be torn apart.

Imagine a world with happiness.
Imagine a world full of sunshine.
Everyone will get along.
Everyone will come together
As one big happy family
Like what we were meant to be.

Imagine a world of no crime.
Imagine a world of no destruction.
There will be order.
There will be trust.
There will be honor.
There will be no need for arms.

Imagine a world without racism.
Imagine a world without discrimination.
No one will be colorblind.
The world will not be seen in
Black and white or in grayscale.
The world will be a rainbow.

Imagine a world without stereotypes.
Imagine a world without a “mold” or a “model”.
We can all be who we want to be.
We can all wear our own shoes
And wear our own clothes.
We can be ourselves.

Imagine a world through our eyes.
Imagine a world through my eyes.
Imagine a world through your eyes.
If we can imagine the world we want,
We can live in that world.
All we have to do is close your eyes

…

And imagine.

I’m a mirror
Falling off the
Wall
Crashing into
A million pieces.

I tried putting myself
Back together
But I don’t
Recognize who
I see anymore.

I’m disfigured,
I don’t recognize the
Person staring back at me,
The person I’ve
Become.

I’m a pane
Of glass falling
From the 20th
Floor
Crashing down below.

I’m a million
Pieces of sharp
Edges
Cutting whoever
Tries to get close.

I cut whoever
Tries to help
Me
Because I’m
Broken.

My life’s not perfect,
I’m hurting
From within,
My heart is crying
With every beat.

I don’t know what
To do because
My mind
Is clouded by
Thoughts and emotions.

Negativity hover over
Me like vultures
Over meat in the
Desert
Ominously, hungry.

I’m a picture that
A child knocks off
The mantle
Cracking the glass
Into a million pieces.

I try to pick myself
Up but the pieces
Are too tiny
And sharp
That they cuts so deep.

With every breath I take,
The pieces pierce
My heart
And I keep on
Bleeding.

I’m fragile,
Handle with care,
But it’s too late
For that because
I’m already broken.

Thoughts racing like F1,
Heart melting like ice cream
On a hot summer afternoon,
Mind overwhelmed like
A first kiss.

Thoughts of hopeless,
Helplessness,
Worthlessness
Racing through my head
And all I can say is...

I’m...
Fine.
I’m fine.
I don’t know what else
To say.

My heart’s pounding outta
My chest,
Tears filling my eyes
And flowing down my face
And all I can say is...

I’m...
Fine.
I’m fine.
I’m *******...
Fine.

Staring blanking ahead
As everyone and everything
Speed past me
As I struggle to just
Get by.

I’m struggling every second
Just to understand why
I’m even here this very second
Because deep down I know
I’ll never survive alone because

I’m...
Fine?
I’m fine?
Am I really fine?
**** that.

I tell my friends and family
That I’m “fine”
But deep down in my heart
And in my soul
I’m crying.

I’m drowning every second
And I can’t even swim
With raw emotions and thoughts
Of nothing by negativity
That I throw my hands up

And say I’m done with this ****.
I tell y’all that I’m fine
But I’m screaming at
The top of my lungs
Someone save me!

Someone ******* save me
From this endless nightmare
That is taking control of me
Emotionally, mentally,
Socially.

My life is a giant pit of
Quicksand
And no matter how hard
I try to fight it and escape
I sink deeper and deeper

Until I can’t breathe anymore
And I suffocate by all my raw
Emotions and thoughts
And with every gasp of air
I shout in my head “save me!”

The world is too quiet.
There is no one here;
No animals or humans.
But I’m here!

I walk outside
And I see no one.
There is no sign of life.
But I’m here!

The world is like a ghost
Town minus the ghosts.
Why isn’t there anyone here?
But I’m here!

How can there be nobody
In the schools and stores?
How is this even possible?
But I’m here!

There is no point in searching
For anyone here at all.
It’s just a big waste of time.
But I’m here!

But I’m here!
Why can’t anyone see or hear me?
I scream at the top of my lungs
But there’s no point.

I’m just wasting my breath.
It’s just me and my thoughts
And they are blocking me from
The outside world that I love.

I’m all alone with my thoughts
And there is no one here.

*But I’m here!

I’m imperfect.
I’m damaged,
Flawed,
“Diseased”.
I’ve done things that I’m not
Proud of.
I’ve failed more times than
I want to admit.
I hate myself,
I’m overwhelmed,
I’m tired,
Burnt out.
I don’t wanna do this
Anymore.
I want to throw my hands
Up and give up.
I want to close my eyes
And sleep,
Sleep until I become
Numb
To the world,
The negativity of
Everything,
Everyone,
Myself.
Sleep until I’m finally
Happy.
I’m imperfect.
But I am who
I am.
My imperfections make me
The person I am,
The person I’ll become.
I’m empathetic,
Loving,
Caring,
Special.
I’m happy,
Loved,
Supported,
Embraced.
I was a student but now
I’m a teacher to others
With my imperfections
And my story.

Am I imperfect?
Nope.
Am I perfect?
Yea...ok
Hello world,
My name is
David Chin
And I’m...
I’m...
Imperfectly perfect.

Keep holding on,
Keep moving forward
I just wanna let you know
That I’m proud.

You’ve been through hell
And back many times,
And you’ve battled so many
Demons.

You’ve been stuck in an
Endless nightmare for too long
And clouds of negativity
Hovering over you

Like vultures over meat
In the desert ominously
With thoughts of self harm
Surprising you at every corner.

You were stuck in a dark,
Empty room inside your head
That was too loud for you
To think, to live, to love yourself.

But you held on,
Your heart tuned the voices out
And you stayed fighting for
What you’ve believed in.

You never gave up
When time got so tough
That you wanted to throw
In the towel and walk away.

You stayed with me,
When you felt like you can’t
Go on since nothing has gone
The way you wanted them to go

But you never doubted yourself
Even though it felt like you did,
You heard my voice as I tell you
That you can do whatever you want

Because you’re so much more
Than you think you are and
Capable of so much more
Than you can imagine.

You’ve gone through hell
And back so many times
But you held on for the ride,
You closed your eyes,

And you tuned the voices
In your head and in your heart out.
You’re gonna be great and
You’re gonna do great things.

I just wanna let you know that
I’m never gonna let you go;
I just wanna let you know that
I’m proud.

Hello world,
My name is David
And I’m...
I’m always tired.

I don’t mean
Like I want
To nap...
I’m “tired”.

I’m tired of everything,
Of everyone.
I’m tired of you...
World.

I’m drained
Mentally,
Emotionally.
I’m exhausted.

I’m overwhelmed
By everything and
Everyone even the
Tiniest of things.

I try my best...
I really do but
I can’t give 100%
Let alone 1% of myself.

I’m depressed,
Fed up.
I’m...
I’m over it.

I feel defeated,
Empty,
I feel so...
******* alone.

I’m stuck in an
Endless roundabout,
Roller coaster,
Loop-de-loop.

I’m falling apart
Mentally,
Emotionally and there’s...
Nothing I can do.

I’m too numb...
To deal with what life
Brings me, too numb to
Talk to anyone, too numb to carry on.

I’m done with it
I’m over it
I’m sorry world...
We’re breaking up.

It’s not you,
It’s...it’s me.
I have no will
Or strength.

When I wake up
Every morning,
I’m scared...
I’m so ******* scared.

I’m scared about
What you will throw
At me. I’m scared
Of what will happen

If I continue down
This path I’m on right now,
If I close my eyes
And roll with the punches.

When I close my eyes,
Every night,
I pray that I wake up
But I won’t argue with Him.

The thoughts racing
Through my mind at night
Feel so ******* real
That I don’t know what’s

Real life
And what’s fantasy.
These constant voices in my
Head make me tired.

I’m not myself,
Who have I become?
I’m never tired
But I’ve always been tired.

Hello world,
My name is David
And I’m tired isn’t
Always about sleep.

I stand on the edge of a cliff up high in
The Heavens, surrounded by thick, gray
Clouds, and I’m blinded by the dense fog.

I feel myself being levitated higher into the
Heavens and thrown by an Evil Force, and I
Tumble through the endless darkness and

I land on a boat braving the tides of indecisions
And fear of the past, present, and future, and
I am tossed violently by the hopes, dreams,

And expectations. I paddle deeper into the
Endless ocean with neither an oar nor a sail
And the tides pulls me under and I gasp for

Breathe as I struggle to keep my head above
The water. I become more overwhelmed with
Every crashing wave and my boat fades away

Into the horizon and the fog grows thicker
Until I’m entirely blinded by all the “what ifs”
And the “maybes”, and suffocated by all that

“Could’ve”, “should’ve”, and “would’ve”.
I wait for a light to break through the dense
Fog, calm the tides, and to carry me back to

Where it all began. I pray to whoever will
Listen so I can be saved from this endless
Storm. With every tick and tock of the clock,

I grow more anxious and I begin to sweat.
I wonder if this is reality or if I am dreaming so
I open my eyes and I’m free falling through

The endless funnel of ominous, gray clouds
And my eyes grow bigger as I realize that this
Is not a dream but rather a nightmare that

I cannot escape not matter how hard I try.
It’s a monstrous, endless nightmare that
Has taken control of my mind and my life

And the worst part is: it’s all in my mind.

You try to push me down
You try to push me around
But I dug my roots in and
I held my firmly held my ground.

When the harsh winters glistened
My body with snow and frost,
My heart and soul, and the embrace
Of my friends and family blanket me

With warmth, love and happiness
And all the frost and ice that I felt
Just melt away and I’m left with
A fire burning in my heart and soul,

A raging fire that never goes out
No matter much negativity that’s
Running through my head like
Rumors spreading in high school.

You pour endless amount of rain
On me and my life trying to drown
Me knowing that I can neither swim
Nor float but I made it though

The torrential downpour because
My friends and family are there with
A life raft guiding me along the way
Like tugboats guiding ships.

You try to ******* down with
Your powerful winds and
Every time I tumble and fall
I get back up and stand taller.

I was your personal punching bag
And I took your punches like a man
But your strikes hit me deeper in my
Heart and I cry every time it beats.

But unbeknownst to you,
With every punch you toughened my
Skin and formed callouses
And I stand tougher than before.

You think I became less of a man
Than I think I really am because
You thought you broke me
With every abuse you threw my way.

You think I’ll become less of a man
Than I think I can become because
My mind is already ****** up and
My heart broken with your words.

You think you have me in your grasp,
That you have me under your control
But still I rise.
Still I rise.

I wander aimlessly in my mind
Trying to get my life back on track.
I see my future, my goal, up ahead
But I’m pulled in a million directions.

Darkness creeps in every second,
And I’m drowned with words of
Discouragement
Like “can’t,” “won’t,” and “impossible.”

These words become my demons and
They push my friends and family away
As I sink deeper into the dark abyss
That I like to call my mind.

“You can’t do it!”
“You’re not good enough!”
That’s all I hear every day and night
As my demons take control of my life.

I can’t do it!
I’m not good enough!
That’s what I begin to tell myself
As my demons take control of my life.

I’m crashing and burning every second
As I listen to my demons more and more.
What’s in your past is in the past but my
Demons always bring my past to present.

“You always fail!”
“Why can’t you be more like …?”
My demons taunt and haunt me by bringing
The bad experiences of my past to present.

My mind begins to spin uncontrollably
As I become overwhelmed by my demons.
I believe their every word and every action
And I begin to disengage myself from reality.

I’m a failure!
I can never be like …!
I believe that my demons’ every word is true.
They’re controlling my life and I can’t escape!

Crashing and burning, I’ll always fail!
Escaping my demons, I cannot and never will!
I fall and I crash and I burn, at least in my mind.
This is my life, my demons’ life!

I begin to spiral downward with no
Safety net in sight or parachute on
My back. I look up and I see familiar
Faces of people who support me.

My family and friends become my
Ears and eyes, and guide me through
All the ups and downs and roundabouts.
They are my safety net and parachute.

“You can do it!”
“You’re amazing!”
That’s what they tell me every day
As my demons begin to slowly fade.

My demons fight harder and harder;
It’s David versus Goliath, an epic battle.
Good versus Evil, Heaven versus Hell.
My life is chaos and only time will tell.

“Don’t listen to them!”
“We control your life!”
My demons try to control my life and
They push me further into the dark abyss.

I’m free-falling, not the Tom Petty type,
Being ****** in like a black hole in my mind.
Welcome to the Twilight Zone as the light
Begins to fade in and out of my mind.

“Your life is precious!”
“You have so much potential!”
My life and my mind are not my demons’.
They will not control me, not if I can help it.

I realize that everything starts in my head.
I need to stop making excuses and listening to
My demons; they do not determine who I am,
Nor determine the person I will become.

“You can do it!”
“We have faith in you!”
“We believe in you!”
My family and friends break the darkness.

I see a hand as I fall deeper into the darkness.
Outstretched and Heavenly, I reach out for it.
Failing every time, I doubt myself and I begin to
Make excuses telling myself that I can’t do it.

I close my eyes and I tell myself,
“Stop making excuses!”
“You can do it!”
*“Just do it!”

I stretched my arms to those
Of my family and friends, but
No matter how hard I try
My demons are too powerful.

“You are a failure!”
“Just give up!”
I crashed and I burned, and my
Demons accomplished their goal.

My mind becomes flooded with
The ashes, still smoldering with
The Evilness of my demons and
Their words of discouragement.

I open my eyes and I see a light;
It shines so bright I become blind.
A voice I hear from the light and
I could not believe that I hear.

“Rise my child, from the ashes
You’ll grow.
Stronger, better, and brighter
Than before are you.

Rise my child, and spread your
Wings.
Your family and friends will guide
You along your way.

Your journey was harsh and filled
With so much despair.
The ups and downs, your journey
Was no a roller coaster ride.

Close your eyes and listen to
My voice.
Let it fill your mind with
Warmth, Love, and Happiness.

Your demons thought that they
Have succeeded.
But it is you who have succeeded
Thanks to everyone around you.

You have succeeded by knowing
Your demons.
Now wage war against them, and
Your demons will fall.

Rise my child, become the
Phoenix.
You are better than your past,
Reborn into Greatness.”

The Phoenix I am gives me strength.
Anxious I am, but fearful I’m not.
I am excited for a new beginning
And nothing can hold me back.

I am a Phoenix, stronger than before.
I close my eyes, spread my wings,
Hold my breath, and I break through
The Darkness of my mind.

Life is a trilogy with birth and death sandwiching
Our life stories into books and chapters are written
Every second with every action and inaction
That we take takes each chapter on a wild ride
Through defeat and triumph and love and hate

Chapters like first kiss and first love and first car
And all of our firsts are only minor chapters when
Compared to chapters like self realization
And self acceptance and self recognition
And other chapters about our internal struggles

Internal struggles like depression or anxiety
Or coping with the death of a close friend or
Family member create cliffhangers and drama
In our books and they make our stories different
From all of the other stories that we read

When we make new friends or unite with old ones
And these struggles can tear pages out of our books
That we don’t want people to read because they are
Too hurtful or too personal or they cut us too deep
That we don’t want other people to find out

The truth of what happened or what we have done
And these torn pages will be a reminder of our past
And it reminds everyone that life isn’t perfect
And that we are all flawed with some more than others
But we are all the same because we have gone through hardship

Our books have twists and turns that make us smile
And they make us cry but no matter what they make
Us think about our own lives and how we can write
The next chapter or rewrite the past or change a few words
But no matter what we change our books will never be complete

Life is a book and we all need to read each other’s book
By looking into our eyes or how we are dressed or how we act
Or through our conversations because our books are constantly
Changing with every second and with everything that we do or don’t do
With every feeling or thoughts we have or how we choose to live

Look into my eyes and you can see that my book
Is no different from yours and my chapters are the same
There is a chapter for depression and for anger and for shame
There is a chapter for all of the happiness in my life thus far
And a chapter for all of the things that I want to accomplish

No matter how our books start the ending will be
The most powerful because that will define our past
How we die and how our books are written will determine
If they will be bestsellers or on the self collecting dust
But no matter what life’s a book and we should all read each other’s

We all have done something
That we feel bad about
That we feel sorry about
That we regret the most.
We all have done something
That we don’t wanna do again
That we don’t wanna see happen again
That we regret the most.
We all have looked back
On our actions
And we have decided
That what we have done
Have harmed our images
In the eyes of our friends and our peers.
Don’t live in the past.
Don’t yearn to live in the future.
Don’t look back on your past events.
Don’t look back on your past experiences.
Don’t plan for the future.
Don’t prepare for what ifs.
Don’t prepare for maybes.
Live with no regrets.
Don’t get mad at what you have done.
Don’t get mad at what you could’ve done.
Don’t get mad at what you would’ve done.
Don’t get sad at what you messed up on.
Don’t get sad at what you didn’t get to do.
Don’t get sad at what you have caused.
Live with no regrets.
Use these bad experiences
Use these bad events
As fuel for what you want to do now.
Focus on what you will do this morning.
Focus on what you will do this afternoon.
Focus on what you will do this evening.
Don’t look back.
Don’t look forward.
Live in the present times.
Live your life with no regrets.

There is only one person on my mind
When I close my eyes and dream.
I cannot get that person out of my mind.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot do it.

It feels like I’m living my dream
Every day and every night.
I don’t want to leave or make it stop
Because I want it to last forever.

Everything in my dream is in slow motion
And everything is so clear and vivid
That my dream is like a movie.
My dream is like a movie with no end in sight.

The star of my movie is you.
When I close my eyes,
I see you smiling, laughing, being yourself.
I don’t want this movie to end.

Your beautiful hair blowing in the breeze.
Your beautiful face without any make up on.
Your beautiful smile and beautiful laugh
That brightens my day and my life.

I don’t want these images to disappear.
I want to be mesmerized by your eyes
That are like stars in the night sky
And they look over me when I need guidance.

I do not want this dream to end
Because I am afraid that everything will be lost
And I will lose you forever.
I want to live this dream forever.

I want to be living a dream.

I lie here every night in my bed
Constantly hearing your words in my head
That I’m not good enough
That you can see that I’m a big bluff
And that with every mistake I pull the thread

Out a little more until my world falls apart
And as the time pass my heart
Cries a little and I can’t go on living
My life this way if you are unforgiving
Because everything you do plays its part

In tearing my life apart from the inside out
And all I can do is stand and pout
Because I am afraid of what you might do
If I stand up for myself and bid adieu
To the life that you want me to have and doubt

My own abilities that I thought I had
But whatever you say does nothing but make me sad
And I want to stand up and walk away
From this place within my head and say
That everything you do only makes me mad

Because I look up to you as my role model
And my head hurts like I was hit by a bottle
And I just ******* down to the floor
And people are chanting for more and more
But you just stand there and watch me toddle

Up and down an endless hall
Like a little kid lost at a mall
Looking for his mother who is out of reach
And in my head I hear nothing but your speech
About how I’m garbage…I’m nothing at all

Instead of catching me you watch fall
From the top of the tower of the Great Wall
So our ancestors can stare down and scorn
Me and ask you why was I even born
If I can’t do anything right except crawl

Back in back and try to fall asleep
Because I don’t want to make a sound not even a peep
If you hear what I have say to you
You will tell me that it’s not wise to
Make a sound if I don’t want to weep

So I just lie here every night in my bed
Living through the nightmare within my head
I wish I can toughen up and stand up
For what I believe in instead of shutting up
And tell the world that this nightmare is as good as dead

“Do unto others as you
Would have them do unto you.”
The Golden Rule applies to everyone,
Every brother, sister, daughter, and son.
If treating people with respect
Is what everyone should live by,
Why don’t we say hello or hi?
What about your son, Lonnie?
Not feeding him is funny?
You watch him starve
And then you carve
Into his brain the image
Of Pain, Suffering, Damage.
You stand there, watching him suffer
Do you think you’re a good mother?
He cries from hunger and he cries from pain
And you tell him to shut up; he’s insane.
Poor, little Lonnie, your son, hasn’t taken a shower or a bath
For forty days and nights, but he’s staying quiet to avoid your wrath.
His clothes are torn and nonexistent
He’s not making a sound; he’s distant
From you and what you call being a mother
Because all that he needs is a big brother.
He looks in the mirror and all that he sees
Is a reflection of what ifs and maybes.
What if I was with a new family?
Maybe I can feel alive and feel free
To attend school and to get rid of these clothes
Then maybe I can turn these pages and close
This awful chapter in my young life
And avoid being stabbed with the knife
Of lack of respect and compassion
And this awful food called field ration
That you, my mom, told me was healthy
While you go out and get wealthy
And you spend that money on clothes and food
And whatever else that lifts up your mood.
What about me? I’m your own flesh and blood.
I feel like I’m being dragged through the mud
Of Pain and Suffering and no Respect.
Well you know mom, I’m done with the neglect.
I live by the Golden Rule and you will witness
My wrath unto you will be full of sweetness
Because mom, you know what they say around this town?
It is all Karma: What goes around, comes around.
I live by the Golden Rule, mom, what about you?
‘Cause in the end of the day, I’m no longer blue.

We’ve been through so much together
We’ve witnessed history together
We saw the first moon landing
We saw the Vietnam War on TV
We protested the war in Washington, DC

Our lives have been spent with each other
Our long walks on the beach
Our romantic candlelight dinner
Our cruise vacation together
Our romantic getaways to the Caribbean

I told you when I met you
That I love you will all m heart
I told you that I want to be with you
Forever and I want to grow old with you
I told you that you complete me

When I look into your eyes
I see a world of possibilities
And a world of happiness and love
When I hug you my worries go away
When I kiss you I share my love with you

I know what we’re not perfect
I know we had fights
I know we wanted to **** each other
But in the end we came back to each other
Because I love you and I know you do too

I want to grow old with you
As our children have children
And as the world changes for the better
I want to keep on looking in those eyes
And I want to love you long time

I want to love you long time

We always say to forget the Past,
Just look forward to the Future.
The Past is the Past and it will
Never change.
What’s important is the Present
And how it’ll lead into the Future.

Don’t think about the Past, they say.
It’s all in the Past, they say.
Look back at your Past, I say.
It’s all about your Past, I say.
I dare you, no, I triple dog dare you
To look in the mirror every day and night.

Tell yourself what you see…your scars,
The expression of your face, yourself.
Pay attention to your eyes, your hair,
The color and complexion of your skin.
We have the same eyes, hair, and skin as
Our grandparents and their grandparents.

Our present is shaped by our ancestors, and
If we look into our eyes, we can see what
They have to endure so we can be who we
Are today and who we can be tomorrow.
The hardship, pain, and struggle they endured
Made them stronger and make our skins thicker.

To forget our past is impossible because
Our past is the reason we are who we are.
Respect thyself and thy past for He loves
You for who you are and who you’ll become.
For He sees potential in thee and thy Past
Is the path to greatness, success, and happiness.

Let me tell you about
My fam —
No names needed;
Y’all know who you are.

They keep me straight
On my path that
God intended me to travel
On to achieve my goal

Of being the best man
That I can be without
Any regrets or questions
Of what ifs and maybes.

They keep me grounded
And make sure that I sway
With the punches that life
Throws at me every second.

They guide me through rough
Ocean tides and into and outta
Ports like little tugboats guiding
Ships like dogs on leashes.

They pick my *** up off
The ground every time I fall
And dust me off and they send
Me off with a hug and a kiss

And they say “go get ‘em kiddo”
With a smile because they know
That I can do whatever I want
If I just put my heart and soul into it

Because I’m capable of so much
More than what my mind tells me.
My heart and soul cry with every
Kind word, words of love and support

Because I know my fam means
Nothing but the best for me and
My life and they want to see me
Grow as a man because we’re fam.

Have a seat
And gather around,
Let me tell me
About my fam.

They’re the best thing that
Happened to me and my life
Because I don’t know where
I’d be right now without them.

I see you every time
I close my eyes
And I can’t seem to
Get you outta my mind.

The constant flow of tears
Down my cheeks and the
Tears forming in my eyes
Year after year reminds me

Of all the pain you’ve
Brought me
And all the pain
I’ve brought to myself

Trying to deal with
Your ******* but
No matter how hard I try
You’re stuck in my mind

Like duct tape and
Every time I try to peel
You off smoothly
You cut deeper until

I bleed more like
A child picking at
His scab over
And over again

Even though his mom tells
Him to stop every time but
He keeps doing it because
It annoys the hell outta him

And picking at the scab
Makes the itchiness go away
For only a second and then
The itchiness, the urge comes back

And you can’t help but
Scratch it again until
It bleeds again and until
You need to scratch it again.

You are my heart’s scab that
Annoys the hell outta me and
I can’t help but scratch it and
Pick at it until my heart bleeds

I’m losing control of my emotions
That I get lost in the ocean’s
Motions and I get tossed by the tide
And I can’t help but run and hide

From everyone who’s there to provide
Nothing but love and support and I’d
Do nothing but denied everything and cried
Like a child without his lollipop and relied

On everyone around me to make it all right
But I can’t do anything like a knight
Without his armor and sword to fight
The dragon that lives inside me and incite

Wars of words and raw emotions
Without providing any notions
Of the use of potions that give me that feeling
Of dealing with my demons and healing

Without kneeling and revealing that the battle
Has been won by the devil that’ll
Reside in me forever and always
And I roam the hallways of my life in a foggy haze

And I’m amazed
By all the phrases
Of praise
Without dismays

I’m losing control of my mind
Of my emotions and I’m blind
Mentally, emotionally I’m outta control;
It takes a toll on my soul

My life as a whole
Is outta my control

Every day we live in fear.
We fear our past, present, and future.
We fear our families and friends.
We fear our actions
And the reactions of others
Towards our appearance, our actions,
And their reactions towards us.

We ask ourselves why.
Why are we even here?
Why are we still living if all we live in fear?
We look in the mirror
And we ask ourselves if it’s worth living.

We cannot live in fear
We cannot take this feeling
We cannot keep on hiding
From everything and everyone that we fear.
We have to stand up to our fears and say
No more.

Every day and night it rains
Wherever we are
But it’s not raining anywhere else.
We try to stop this rain
But it rains harder.
We become drenched in our emotions
And our hearts become flooded with our fears.

No matter how hard we try
To stop the rain and flood
We can only stop our tears
That we cry when we are alone
Thinking about our fears and our feelings.

We need a reason to stay here;
We need a reason to fight our fears.
We can’t take it anymore
And we can’t fight it anymore.
We look in the mirror
And we see our reason to stay and fight
Let’s do it for no one but ourselves.

You looked me in the eye
And told me you loved me.
I saw nothing in yours,
But all the hatred I have for you.
We’ve danced our last dance
And it’s time for the clock
To strike midnight
So I can disappear from your life
And you from mine
Because I see nothing in your eyes.

We all believe in God,
Regardless of the name we give Him.
We are all His children,
And we are forever loved.

He wants us to be happy,
And for us to be loved.
He wants us to love someone
Else besides Him and ourselves.

Happiness is a universal thing
That everyone shares and feels.
Love and being loved are felt by
Everyone no matter who you are.

Love and Happiness do not judge;
They do not discriminate based on
Your gender, race, or religion, and
They should not discriminate on

Your ****** orientation.
Whoever you love should not
Matter because Love truly is
Blind.

People will say that marriage is
Only between man and woman
Because their religions say so.
But what matters the most

Should be our happiness. If we
Are happy spending the rest of
Our lives with someone of the
Same ***, we should be able to.

Marriage between man and woman,
And marriage between two of the
Same *** share two common things:
Love and Happiness.

Love is Love and
Happiness is Happiness.
Love is blind, Happiness is universal.
Our hearts beat to the rhythm of

Love and it’s the same for all.
Our love for each other is strong, but
Happiness makes the love stronger.
Together our love becomes one.

We are all God’s children and He loves
Us for who we are. He wants us to be
Happy and if that means loving and
Marrying someone of the same ***,

Then we should respect that because
We all feel Love and Happiness and
With respect our Love will be one.

Crashing and burning
I feel my whole world,
My whole life falling down.
Everything around me
Is falling apart and
I’m falling in slow motion
Into the fiery pits of hell
To spend eternity with
My demons as they snicker
With joy and excitement.
I thought that was the end,
My demons have won.
But with every passing second,
I begin to and I will rise up
Slowly but surely, because
It’s a long journey to return
To where I was before all
This crap even started but
I know that I’ll get there
Eventually with the love and
Support of my friends and family.
Through the ashes of my
Past mistakes and battles,
I will rise up like the Phoenix
Higher than before above
My demons and I’ll shock
The world and myself by
Becoming the person I was
Meant to be,
Created by the hands of God
For I am stronger than
My past, my mistakes, and
Who I thought I couldn’t be.
I may have fallen numerous
Times in the past,
I may have felt like given up,
I may have wanted to say
Good night
To my friends and family
Forever for I can’t go on anymore.
I may have closed the curtains
On my life,
But still I rise like the Phoenix.
Still I rise.

My life is a
Rainbow.
Together, our parts
Create something
Amazing and
Beautiful.
There are times
When I'm
Red with
Anger,
Green with
Disgust,
Blue with
Sadness,
Yellow with
Happiness,
And shades
Of different
Colors.
Alone, they're just
Colors
... Emotions.
Together,
They create something
Amazing and
Beautiful.
Our beginnings are
Dark
With clouds and
Rain
But we emerge
Out of the
Darkness
And bring
Peace and
Happiness
To those around
Us.
My life is a
Rainbow
With
Pots of Gold
Waiting at the
End.

This feeling inside of me
Is burning stronger
And stronger
And stronger
I tried to tell you how I feel
But I keep on growing weaker
And weaker
And weaker
Whenever our eyes meet
My heart sinks deeper and deeper
I yearn to be with you
Forever
And ever
I tried to say, “I love you”
But my voice keeps on getting fainter
And fainter
And fainter
My hands sweat with anxiety
And my mind is nowhere to be found
I search for that special someone
Near and far
Above and below
And she is standing there right in front of me
I feel like I wanna cry
I feel like I wanna die
I feel like I wanna scream
Because all I feel is love
But love has taken my voice and my heart
So instead I will wear my heart
I will wear my soul
I will wear my love
In red

I stare at you
Every morning
As I wonder
If it’s worth
Getting ready.

I stare at you
Every night
As I question
Myself why
I’m even here.

You embody everything
That is negative —
The feelings of helplessness,
Hopelessness, worthlessness
And thoughts of self harm.

Every time I see you
My chest tightens
And my heart is heavy,
And I feel like someone
Left the faucet on

As the tears form in my
Eyes and as they flow
Down my face and
I can taste the pain
That you’ve brought

To me and into my life —
All the missed events
With friends and family,
The precious seconds
That I could’ve spent

By myself,
Improving my sense of
Self worth and what I
Can bring to society and
Most importantly to myself.

But instead I stand there
Looking into your dark,
Black, empty eyes as
You stare back at me
And I feel my soul being

Taken out of my body
And my heart being twisted
By your dark, cold hands
With your nails digging
Deeper and deeper until I bleed.

You shove my head into
The toilet bowl like back
In high school until I gasp
For air every time I come up
And I suffocate with

Every breath because the
Air I breathe in is the same
Air that your breathe out
And it’s toxic and poisonous
Like the air our great grandfathers

Breathed back in World War I
Mustard gas they called it.
I call it by another name
But they have the same
Effects and I call it Life.

You stare at me with your
Cold eyes and I can feel
My heart, my soul let out
An endless cry as you plunge
The knife deeper and deeper.

You whisper into my ears
That I should say good bye
To the world forever because
My friends and family are better
Off without me.

You snicker loudly as I hold
The knife against my wrists
Shaking with fear and regret
With tears flowing my cheeks
And I cowardly make shallow


Cuts until I begin to bleed
But then I stopped myself
Because I realized who you are,
I recognized the face staring back
At me as I stare at you.

You copy everything I do,
Every move I make,
Every word I speak
And every thought I think
You are my reflection.

The world is full of hate.
Black versus White.
Cops versus unarmed teens.
Israel versus Palestine.
Terrorism!

Innocents lives are lost every second.
Mothers and fathers are crying
Over the loss of their children.
Children are crying over the loss
Of their parents and friends.

Senseless fighting because one
Group is different from the other
And their views and beliefs are
No where close to being the same.
People dying over senseless things.

Another generation is lost
Thanks to the senseless fighting and
Hatred that engulf their lives.
All we do is point our fingers
At each other and be violent.

There is so much hatred in the world
Because, like hot air in a cool room,
Hate rises above us all and
It rises above Love but
We can overcome the Hatred.

Let's start a rEVOLution,
Overpower the Hatred with Love.
Spread positive messages and energy.
Spread the Love, not the Hate
Because Love wins in the end.

No matter the name we give Him,
We are all His children.
He wants us to be Happy
And He wants us to Love
Each other as He loves everyone.

We're all His children and
Hatred and Harm to one group
Are Hatred and Harm to all.
We're all connected by the
Threads of His tapestry call Life.

You pull on one thread
And the other threads follow.
One by one the threads will fall
And the entire tapestry will crumble;
Life and Love will be no more.

Let's start a rEVOLution
And spread the Warmth and Love
That we all desire to feel.
Paint the world in yellow,
Not red and blue.

We deserve to Love and to Live,
To make the world a better
Place for our children and theirs.
Paint the world with rainbows and
Sunshine, not with dark clouds.

Come together for a common cause.
Put the disagreement and pain
And Hate aside and unite.
Come together and start a rEVOLution
If not for us, then for the future.

God, Allah, Our Lord Savior
Every night I say a little prayer
To bless me with the strength and will
To carry on and swallow this hard pill

That is choking me every time I breathe
And it feels like I’m being stung by a million bees
I can’t believe what my life has become
And I’m just here think ummm

Every time I say a prayer when I can’t go on
I feel like I can’t go above and beyond
My own abilities and capabilities
Why am I feeling the hostilities

And becoming casualties of my own
Actions and demise and I feel so alone
And I’m outta my comfort zone
And I’m scared shitless of the unknown

I think that my plans will be postponed
When I’m overthrown by the cyclone
I should’ve outgrown my demons but they’re unbeknown
To me and my family and I’ll be disowned

When I can’t carry on I say a prayer
As I struggle to climb these endless stairs
Of endless despair; this is ******* unfair
Why was I not aware? I’m so impaired

Mentally, emotionally, socially
This is affecting me totally
I can’t carry on, I’m done with this life
I wanna cut myself with a Swiss Army knife

Down the road, not across the street
This will definitely be a treat
To everyone who has treated like their *****
I gotta cure this itch and end up in a ditch

Every second I say a prayer
To God, Allah, our Lord Savior
Give me strength to carry on
And the will to fight on!

The night sky is clear
With no clouds is sight
With no stars that shine.
When I need someone
To brighten up my life
To make me feel happy,
I look up to the empty
Night sky and I pray.
I pray for a shooting star
So I can make a wish.
I want to wish for some
Happiness and love.
I pray for a shooting star
So I can wish for some
Comfort and open ears
So I can talk about anything
And I will be sure that
Whatever we share will
Be our little secrets.
When I look up to
The night sky,
I pray for a shooting star
To show me some light
Among the black
To break through the
Sadness and sickness.
I look up to the night sky
For a shooting star
And I have found it…
In you.