I cant stop thinking about you
Maybe in another life
It could have been different.
You and I
Walking hand in hand
Inch by agonizing inch
Along the tightrope twined
With space for only two.
Watching glorious sunsets
Minding nothing but time
Counting how long we have
Wanting so much more.

In another life you would be
Mine as I am yours.
Kiss your lips in the moonlight
Hold you close when we hug
Whisper seductive secrets
in your ear when we aren't alone.
I would give you everything
and love you tenfold too.
Maybe you would share my bed
Give me all of you
And be my forever together.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

You grew worried,
Unsure of yourself.
So I pointed to the shelf
Where all the pictures stood.

I knew that you finally understood
As realization dawned upon your face.
So I told you a story to erase
All of the tension that had built.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

You asked me questions
As I told my tale.
But all I did was flail
As I tried to explain.

I revealed that I couldn’t trust
Not when friend after friend
Brought an end
To every relationship.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

They broke me
In ways you can’t imagine
As they left my heart and soul all barren.
I don’t know how to trust.

I want to trust you
But after end and end
You must comprehend
That I don’t know how.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

There is a God in Heaven
I know it deep inside
For He has carried me across the great divide
And though in His grasp I struggle
Not knowing on jagged rocks I can fall
He only tightens His hold on me through time, all in all
And His grasp may be harsh or gentle
But it’s always assuredly strong
To show no matter when I fall, I will not fall for long
For He tells me Heaven’s on my side
And love’s His safety net
And I believe it, for though I may curse Him, He carries me nonetheless
And He looks not only into my eyes
But into me as a whole
He says He’s the Alpha and Omega, the holder of my soul
And maybe someday I’ll stop struggling
And look into His eyes
And see the Creator of me created my blue skies
Fr there is a God in Heaven
I know it deep inside
For even now He carries me across the great divide

I'm sorry,
because when we first met I was completely and altogether taken with you.
You had this quirky charm that made me feel comfortable,
made me feel safe.
No matter what was going on,
you just seemed not to care and I took your indifference as a kind of
cold confidence.
And I won't lie,
I liked it.

In groups you shifted between being the center of attention
and having literally nothing to say.
Your social bipolarity
sometimes
led to late night blarings
of Katy Perry.
(I'm vaguely ashamed to admit that
I would dance like a loon, through my old house
and lip sync furiously
at the idea of your Hot and Coldness.)

I'm sorry
because of that one night.
That night when you made some joke
about how we were such good friends.
And I broke down crying and told you absolutely everything.
About how I had liked you,
for so long,
and other foolish things I should've kept to myself.

I'm sorry
because it turns out you felt the same way.
Feel the same way.
Feel that way.
And something happened.
And time passed.
And things changed.
Well, for me they changed.

I'm sorry
because I haven't told you.
I don't know how to tell you.

How do I say it is not you I care for in that way,
but the idea I had of you.
How do I say it,
when I only just admitted to myself,
that this time,
my idea was wrong.

I'm sorry
I was wrong.

I do not speak of years to come,
I rarely speak of days.
I do not know
What tomorrow holds,
But let it come,
Come what may.

And should it hide
It's weary head,
And if, my friend,
My years should end,
My secrets are yours to hide,
When I am dead.