i've written a grip of confessional love poems on beverage napkins
strung them together with a dissociative understanding of time (like dental floss)
wrung them out and hung them up to ripen on the line
mama always said not to name things that are only going to die
and i lied to her face when i told her i wouldn't
i gave it a name
and i was going to send it your way
as if maybe seeing it all spelled out
would make you change your plans
and stay
alas
i'm quite certain that i blew my nose on the winning sonnet
and burried the rest with what was left of my tears
now i don't even write
i just scream at the stars all night
as if my life's become a sailor-song
and this desert
my decaying cabaret
this is total ****. ironic, really. i sat down in a futile attempt to illustrate the way that sometimes, saying exactly what you want to, just doesn't read well enough. i'll never really be capable of articulating the pain of these passed two months, and if i could, it'd read like ****. like this.