Dark cascading whispers hide
within your serenity
from painful hours that have fallen
like leaves
in your sleep.  
If I could bury those hours
deep away from where you think
perhaps your heart would no longer suffer,
and your peace, you could keep.

Inside of a daydream or two
containing soothing moments,
I would love
to softly caress your hands
with the gladness in my heart.
I would send a smile to sit
inside the place that you call home
when your  eyes are open
and your visions
holding sharp.

I would dance upon your chest
with my naked soul,
if it would take away the painful hours
your mind continues
to be faithful to.  
Don't you know that life itself
has written your name
on everything known as me
and that I was born
to comfort you?

I just was sitting here thinking and...

Thank You.

Thank you for everything you have taught me.
Every lesson, good and bad that has made me
Find a new component within myself.

I am weak, I am selfish: I am strong, I am selfless.
So many different parts of me have been brought to my attention.
I became good friends with myself after sitting there,
Alone in my room,
Creating melodies and thinking of every element of you.
Day, after day, after day.

Thank you for letting me realize that I could
Live without you.

IF,

If I wanted to.


But I don't.


So thank you for letting me realize that too.
And realizing that there actually might be a plan,
A plan that was made specifically for
Me..
A path that I'm supposed to walk down.

I choose to walk down the same path as you.
To mold each one of my footprints into yours,
Like I did in the evening on the Santa Cruz beach.
And silently clasp my hand in yours.

Just to say,
I'm here with you because I chose to be here.
And have you not say anything,
But just look at me with that look that you do.

That look that says,
Thank You for staying.
And we both smile because we're here together.

Thank you for letting me spill my thoughts on you
Like red grape juice.
And thank you for only removing the stains that hurt you,
Letting me pretend that I didn't say those words
When I was inebriated..
Drunk off of your personality and your secretiveness.

I feel as if I should shake your parent's hands,
Maybe thank them for bringing you into this world.
Or maybe I should shake God's hand.
Because I mostly see Him when I'm with you.

Thank you for every moment of laughter
And aching sweetness.
For every single tear we've both cried..
For the nights that no one else would understand,
And for the days that you infected me with happiness.

Thank you for being mine:

My plan,
My path,
My savior.

And most importantly,

Thank you for loving me.

I knew from the start,
it was a little too good to be true,
but I couldnt help but feel,
all these good vibes from you,
You made me feel so good inside,
but I was hiding something too,
and I just cant help but think,
I was a little too honest, too soon.

'Cause maybe, if I would've waited,
you would have thought that I was worth it,
or maybe, if I had waited,
you'd understand that nobody's perfect,
but maybe if I waited, I would have let it go too far,
I guess I'll be alone forever, but I'm wishin' on that star,

I don't know what I expected,
probably a little heart,
but I just thought it'd be easier
to be honest from the start,
I wish I knew what you were thinkin',
can't seem to let it go,
if you're quick to leave, so might be everybody,
so for now I'll be alone,

and maybe, if I would've waited,
you'd have seen me in a different light,
or maybe, if I had waited,
I would know how to make this right,
but maybe, if I had waited, I might not have said anything at all,
and you'd, be stuck confused, with why I had to stall,

I thought just maybe,
you could see past my flaws,
look at whats underneath my skin,
and know that just because,
I might not be perfect
I'm still pretty good too,
and I know even more that,
I'd be really good with you.

But I'm glad I hadn't waited,
to share this part of me,
and now I know that you won't budge,
no matter how great I may be,
I realize now I don't need you,
nor really anybody,
I'm fine with being alone for now,
because I'm okay with being me.

You say its just a teenege thing
So my pain I cannot tell.
You yell at me everytime
I put on my black veil.
I tell you there is nothing wrong,
I keep lying through my teeth.
I'm pretty sure you give zero *****
About what I'm feeling underneath.
You say to get lost in another world so I can't feel the hurt,
But did it ever occur to you that I'm already lost
and need to find my own world first?
Do I have a source of light?
Yes. With out a doubt.
But my sun can't fight this
Dark eclipse that's trying to shut it out..
Maybe I need to get away, just leave for awhile.
But the only thing that keeps me here
Is my only reason to smile.
I keep feeling the tears ***** at my eyes
But I've been taught that only the weak are allowed to cry.
Am I weak? Hell no. Well maybe just a bit.
The shame and pain wash over me as I stare down at my wrist..
All I can say is I'm sorry I disappointed you, again.
I understand if this makes you not want to be my friend
Do I need you? Yes, more than you will know.
But I promise, if you want it, just say and I'll let go.
Though half of me will be with you when you take your leave,
The empty side will be okay as long as you are free.
If you ever see this, you'll probably shake your head and say no.
But I guess I just love you enough to let you go...
This depression ***** with my head. Everytime.
Whatever, it wont change.
No worries, I'll be fine.

Hot breath, fog on the window.
Hands on the glass frame
Holding on,
Pain, shame!
A silent tear slides down rounded cheek
Leaked down from a clear blue pool of
Innocence and sincerity and strength.
Questions flying throughc clouded mind,
Emotion held with in a sigh.
Smile brightly, laugh out loud.
Sleeves pulled down, wristbands wary
Waiting for the shock and dismay
For the rejection and harsh words.
Bring on the hurt...
Emotional pain is ten times worse
Than anything else.
Muscles tense and waiting,
Yearning for redemption.
Back tight, jaws clamped.
Eyes piercing against the bland mask
That hides all.
Lips ready to quiver or
Fake words of comforting empathy.
Voice waiting for its cue
To laugh and chase away any type of doubt.
Hands, clenching and unclenching,
Showing more emotion than anything.
Finger nails digging into palms
Leaving bright red crescent marks.
Feet sluggishly sliding from destination to destination.
Will it ever stop raining?
Will the sun ever shine?