it's about learning that love doesn't come with an address
rather, a skeleton you hung in the subconscious element of your closet
i'm learning the grey area that resulted in the clash of our existences is something i don't fundamentally need
three days ago i realized its something i don't want
hey i'm still writing to you as if it were my career and i'm learning that
with you, i never had to taste the metallic tone of closure
i just, left. you didn't know
my last "i love you" would be the last and
instead of writing you novels and sobbing in between
every page, i stomped my feelings into bottles and lately i've been busy imagining the emotion that comes along with splitting a fine wine thats festered in my gut for quite some time
maybe i'll share it with my mirror,
sleeping on the floor is becoming much too frequent as is getting drunk off of emotion, only to
wish you were here

i need you to need me

saturday was the day you left me
the day you walked straight out
of my life using the back door
you made me unlock after
it was shut tight due to
years of broken trust
and an isolated
heart.

we're coming up on one year
since you've been gone
and as i look at all the changes that have happened in this life of mine since you departed
it seems as if one year has been far too long
i could really use a hug from you today
you know, one of your specialty embraces you so easily and wholeheartedly gave away
i could really stand to see the smile on your face
that same smile that could stop the devil in his pace
your energy
your will
it's all still here
even though you died in the flesh
your spirit remains in the clear
and i have the honor of knowing a spirit of such
one of unimaginable happiness
with the most caring of touch

thank you for the years you were here
and for still watching down over all of us

we still miss you.

i've decided that
i could **** myself,
but instead, i'll find the words
that will do it for me.

if you look closely
under the moonlight tonight,
you will see that my vertebrae
mimics
the shape of birds taking flight..
darling boy,
see,
ive been a little bent out of shape since you left  
im walking around with a part of me missing and
i don't think you understand that i see you in everything i do..

but ill be fine
in the morning ill stretch my wings (arms) up to the sky
and
*maybe tomorrow
you'll think of me.