Who is that man
in my doorway

his shadow
smelling like grave soil

face cold as a dead star
dark as a pond full of oil

his hair floating like weeds
eyes blank as a book of good deeds

turning slowly with grace
like a boot tied to the end of a lace.

i put my heart in my soul.
avoid food and water,
and drink the red water.
Listen to Kendrick and Tyler,
Tupac and Tyga.
Jump and leap,
barely eat.
fake it till I make it,
listen to song everyday.
stare blank into that white space.

till I feel
like I didn't just wake up as me.
liquid or life:
an empty studio
with white walls, bricks,
and hardwood floors.
Me by this glass
of cabernet - ill be fine.
ill be great.
ill soar for days.
till i don't,
till i destroy
everything that's hard won.
till i dizzy and
pass life on.

JUST DECIDE WHO YOU ARE ALREADY!!!

Poetry is sculpting,

                 touch my atomic being.

In the canopy
we reach for branches
to hold on to.

I'm shy.
I'm tongue tied.
My hands struggle to type.

My bottom lip quivers.
My body shakes
(and not in the good way).

I can't eat,
tie my shoe,
just relax or
make the first move.

I'm always first to text you

with shame,
but masquerading
and gray.
A noctural opportune,
cold,
******,
bound,
seduced,
a freak —
your flavor of the weak.

Don't judge me by my looks
And don't read me by the books
I am brash and I am kind
I am hard to define
I am bold. I am shy
I am grounded, but I fly
I love, and I give
I cradle, I forgive
Though soft I may feel
I am thunder, I am steel
I am smiles and I am laughter
I am happily ever after
I am tears and I am ache
I am a mess when I break
I hold tightly, but I know
When it's time to let go
I am dove, I am hawk
I am the rose and the rock
I am rain. I am sun
I am I. I am woman



Thank you all so much **