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without you
i don't sing in the shower
or stay up to late hours,
i merely sleep it all off
but i sleep without dreaming
and love without meaning
my family knows it too well
my words are hollow
and my thoughts will follow
you took the meaning out of my life
i walk along paths
and ache for the feel of your hand on my back
ive missed you forever, it seems, in this cold-blooded world
i toss coins without wishes
and all intentions seem vicious

you knew me the best
and you left me a mess

oh, why won't the sunshine
come out
april 16th 4:10 am
someday my life will end
and so will yours
so kiss me any time
*okay?
losing patience~
someday my life will end
and so will yours
so kiss me any time
*okay?
losing patience~
 May 2014 Taylor Johnson
cai
Once upon a time in a land not so far away,
There lived a young girl who wished she'd never stayed.
Not because of the roughness of the trees,
Or because of the fear of a simple sting of a bee,
But because of her life she longer wished to live.

No her childhood was not a complete bore.
No it was more of the trials her teen years stored.
Never did she think that one goodbye would be the last,
Or that time would go bye so **** fast.
Her teen years are the moments she no longer wished to live.

This story does not have a happy ending.
It's not like other stories parents are telling.
No because this story is about a girl who gave up.
She desired to take just one sip out of the bitter cup.
Because she no longer wished to live.

Now one night she felt lower than low.
She tied a noose rather than a bow.
But this time around her neck not on the back of her head.
She had the desire to wake up dead.
Because she no longer wished to live.

But one day she met a little boy,
And he offered her his toy.
The kind soul she was she began to play.
And thought maybe, just for a while she'll stay.
Beginning to have the desire to live.

The days flew by and so did the year.
Eventually the day came when she didn't shed a tear.
But rather she played with the children and pets,
And began to deal with her problems in sets.
Not often having the thought that she no longer wished to live.

Time has gone by and her teen years are gone.
As well as the children who grew so long.
She found a place in this land.
She found a place she could stand.
She had the desire to continue to live.

Now this comes as a surprise to many of you,
Because frankly you didn't know what she would do.
But one day she fell in love with a man.
They prepared to marry and made the plan.
She want to be with him and live.

But tragedy struck and she died a sad death.
With only others memories of her left.
And now she is standing up by a star.
With her life below her seeming so far.
But now she no longer had to live.
 May 2014 Taylor Johnson
cai
insane
 May 2014 Taylor Johnson
cai
I have grown up a lot these past few years.
My emotions have gone on a rollercoaster of tears.
I still don't know who I am supposed to be.
Or what is attempting to mold me into me.
We are put on earth for a test.
But I feel I have made a huge mess.
I walk into my room to find my mom crying.
I'm a disappointment who had to keep fighting.
Music is becoming the only thing I can relate to.
Beside running outside for something to do.
I have this aching in my chest that won't go.
Each day I begin to feel even more low.
I don't have a person I can share this with.
If I do tell my feelings I know they'll go stiff.
Because they'll realize I'm on the edge of life or death.
Or they'll realize it's to late before I've left.
I am confused on what is right and wrong.
I search my music for a sign or a song.
Something to lead me on my right path.
Before it's too late and I'm torn in half.
Yet I already feel as I have been torn.
I wish things were as simple as when I was born.
Sadly life wasn't made like that.
The stress in my body isn't health, I'm fat.
My self-confidence has gone down the drain.
And I think I'm beginning to go insane.
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