that should be me
in the seat
thighs melted into leather
hair in the breeze
once the curvy back road of your dreams
now the hometown highway that you hate
but i am the earthquake
that rips up the roads
i am the nails
in all of your tires
i am the potholes you beg to miss
see, i can be your everything
but only in your nightmares

acid drops
tingling down my spine
your fingers
interlocked with mine
heartbeats heavy
in velvet love
amongst the colors

in this moment
we were forever

i'd like to
find a crevice
so deep in your bones
to build a nest
of your vessels
for this cold,
chilling winter

i’ll travel the seas
near and far
on my ship

i’ll pluck all fish
on my great line
discovering every cell
a skill surely divine

i’ll come across volcanoes
their points up in the clouds
sifting through the lava
i just want to know your ground

i’ll march the chilly terrors
of the northern winds
face exposed, lights unfold
flakes fallen within

i’ll scavenge your land
the great valleys of color
just to find you
you are unlike any other

cobwebs cascade
where you were supposed to hang
but with the shackles i tied
around your stained ankles
you couldn’t reach

they say vampires will never hurt you
but i am not a vampire
i **** life and joy
not knowing when will be my last meal

realization of my destruction strikes
only when i am engulfed in a black hole

there is nothing left

i won’t wash my walls
for a reminder
of where you used
to touch

i won’t look at my skin
in absence
of where you drove
in the valleys
of my figure

i won’t wash my walls
your fingers
stay hung on display
when they should be
where you laid
underneath my framework
in the bed we made

i catch my breath
escaping out of my lungs
as if it were being chased
by friday night hooligans

i walk down the aisles
in search of what i’m looking for
surrounded by stickers
and meaningless numbers

this isn’t where i belong
without you by my side
and your confident strides
eyeballing every tool in sight

a heavy pressure builds in my chest
like a cat suffocating my rib cage
i can do this on my own
but that’s not the point
i wanted you to love me so hard
you’d beg to do it for me
just to see me smile

i place my items down
and shuffle out
empty-handed
i can’t bare to make small talk at the register

my lungs
catch quick
on unfinished breaths
when your face sweeps my brain,
an anomaly
from what my body craves

heartbeat
in my brain

rivers
in my hands

adventure
in my soul

telephone cans

nobody has ever bothered
to pick me up
dust me off

run your fingers down my spine
everything will be alright

remove my cover
gaze beyond
view the chapters
in which my life has gone

memorize my pages
the good and the bad
remember the sufferings
and comforts had

highlight your favorite parts
sentences and stanzas
dually remarked

dog-ear the sections
you find yourself rereading
leave a bookmark, save your place
i’ll always be here waiting

lay me down
on your bedside
we’ll comfort each other
all throughout the night

wear the pages of my life
under your fingertip’s tread
remember the verses
imprint them in your mind
for when my ink is dead

“i love you”
you whisper
as you hold me close
and fill the distance
between our bodies and soul

ring ring
i answer the phone
it’s you,
pawning off all of my posessions
back into my arms
as if they were covered in poison ivy
unbearable to touch

he loves me,
he loves me not

ridding himself of every display
that i ever traced hearts onto his bare freckled back
and filled nooks and crannies with my passions

deleting my existence
one square foot at a time

i would sleep unclothed
not for comfort
but to feel your skin on mine
in the most intimate
and innocent way

now i sleep bundled up
covering every inch of my body
because nothing will ever matter
as much as your skin
on my skin
your toes
on my toes
your hair
splashed across the sheets

i keep the night light on
the switch frozen in time
breaking up my darkness
invading my hours of blackout
where i’d look up at the ceiling
and happily see nothing

i keep the night light on
waiting for the day you’ll come home
the hallway will be illuminated
to protect your pace
from stubbed limbs as you walk back

i keep the night light on
light splatters through the doorway
i display a slight smile
at memory of you entering the room

i keep the night light on
no longer craving to be engulfed in dusk
but to be smothered in your arms
as that was all i needed to sleep, anyway

as children we are told
that knives hurt and leave scars
but what your mother never told you
is that words leave marks too

"don't run with scissors" she says
but what the hell am i supposed to do
when someone throws a paragraph
and it knocks the breath out of me?

flannel ski slopes
forever stuck
where you’d hold me
and brace the winds of my storms
but skis are no match
and hold no balance
in a flash flood

my forever valentine
embraced in the depths
of wrecked solace

lures and bobbles
dodging from reach
an empty tackle
once filled with dreams
pouring out
away from me

my future flashed
as i heard you gasp
and shiver between the splashes

now i know no fear
i wield the cast
this lake monster will never hurt you

now i must learn science
to turn back time and win you back
we had chemistry
but i spilled the beaker
gravitational pull
every atom of my being belonging to you
with your electromagnetic hands
but i am reactive
i burn and burn and burn
i set fire to the oxygen surrounding me
i explode like a nuclear sunset
i am a gamma ray
and you are the calloused feet that ran
behind your lead shield you stay
but i am stuck here forever
i cannot decompose
i am cursed energy
i can never die
though i’ve never felt more dead
i am burdened to exist forever
in every form i transition into
but you are life
you are precious and fleeting
full of energy
until one day you are not
i am doomed to see the world without you
infinitely
i beg to be powering your body
my temporary home
i wish you could stay forever
but i am energy
and you are life
i’ll be stuck here forever
waiting
for your reincarnation

never have i craved
the smell of fresh cut grass
until you left it untouched

the blades stay dead
where i had my fun
forever shadowed
by our summer love

little do they know
that i no longer wield an edge

i let the shoots rise up
and embrace my fate
this garden was never meant
for the both of us