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 Jan 2023
Monotone
Sometimes I do small things,
small enough people don’t notice.
I pinch my wrist,
I pull my hair.
I let piercings close-
only to pierce them again.
I seek out so much pain-
so much hurt-
because it helps me feel again.
 Mar 2022
ilias
i am laying in my
cold white blankets
with my eyes open
   all I can see is grey
i smell nothing but rotten
thoughts and bones
  i‘m trapped inside this body
this room, this life, and
i feel so weak,
so worthless,
even breathing hurts
 Jan 2022
Sk Abdul Aziz
In my final moments as I lay on my death bed
When the eyes were on the verge of closing forever...
And the soul knew it was going to get captured now
Amidst all the memories and regrets running through my mind...
...All I could think about was you
Your serene face kept flashing before my eyes..
...i could never forget those angel like eyes
Your sweet voice kept ringing in my mind..it was so relaxing and motivating
Your fragrance I could now fondly recall..it was somewhat ethereal
Every single moment I spent with you...It was all flashing before my eyes
Your words I could never forget them..
You had said ...try to be the best version of yourself no matter what
I tried my best to follow your advice
I don't know if I ever succeded
...but believe me I tried
You left me too soon
I missed you so much
Everyday without you felt like a punishment
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore
Life for me had lost its meaning
Without you my heart felt like a graveyard...
...it felt like an old abandoned and desolate house
But finally I'll join you now
I've waited for this moment for so long
I've longed for our souls to meet
I've prayed so much for us to be together someday
We couldn't be together in this lifetime
But now finally death will unite us...
 Dec 2021
Seranaea Jones
-


decades ago this was a tasty
quick meal between ten
hour shifts and sleep

tangy cheese in a metal container
that i cooked on a burner as the
shells boiled to a full fluff nearby

i mixed in some diced ham that
in of itself could have filled
a morning omelet,
had i the time—

to—day’s products consist of
much smaller shells that boil
into gooey blobs

and cheese– sealed in some kind
of chemically pre-melted state
inside of a silver bag,

and ham—

packed in smaller cans–
very much tasting like
the machines that process it.

i wonder now what level of
creature is low enough to
be able to live off of this

to within what measure
of survival

or—

if in fact this stuff
could actually be
                            
eating  it...


s jones
2021


.
 Nov 2021
Monotone
Spiraling deeper
and deeper
and deeper
into an exquisite
sorrowful grave
filled with agonizing
misery because
I miss the memories
we made and
the traditions we
started and the
way we knew
our way around
each others
protective
fortress walls
 Oct 2021
ghost queen
desperately clinging
to a false sense
normalcy and acceptance
i seeked validation
in romantic relationships
when all that i cherish
has been taken away
i realize
that i’ve aged out
and lost my identity
stripped of purpose
and meaning
I don’t see any hope
or reason for being
i find solace
in addiction
i realized i’ve lost
and surrendering
accepting the fact
and letting myself slide
into another depression
 Oct 2021
Monotone
You know what?
I'm not broken.

I can still function.
I'm not alone.
I've got others around me.
I won't isolate.
I will explore.
I can do this.
I will survive.
I will be loud.
I want my voice to be heard.
I'll feel.
I won't become numb.
I can still thrive.

Because you know what?
I'm not broken.
 Oct 2021
Monotone
Sometimes I'm not okay,
and while I know it's okay to not be okay,
people don't really care if you aren't.

They tell you, "I'll be there for you,"
but branch away from the topic at hand,
even when all you want is for someone to listen.

I don't need advice or help,
I'm not asking for them to solve my issues either.
I just need to dump some of my feelings out.

My bottle of feelings has reached max capacity.
I'm not asking for you to give me a bigger bottle or say it'll be okay,
I'm simply asking for your help in pouring some down the drain.

So yea, sometimes I'm not okay.
I know it's okay to not be okay.
But, to be okay, I need someone to help me pour my feelings out.

I don't want to keep not being okay just because it's okay to not be okay.
I want to improve my mental health.
 Oct 2021
Monotone
It hurts-
When they find someone new,
and I realize I was only there
for character development.
And now he’s with her,
and I’m with a different face every night.
But I’m the one who struggled through
the lows and the highs.
I cried myself to sleep every night.
Not her.
But I’m the one who’s alone.
Because while he’s marriage material,
I’m simply another body for men to use.
I’m pretty enough to ****,
but I’m no one’s dream girl-
just a means to pass the time.
And so I silently cry in this empty room,
thinking about those memories of you-
and the pain that you and I went through.
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