You were in my dream last night and I think we were in love and my head didn't hurt anymore and suddenly I remembered how it felt for my chest cavity to be full of something other than steam and I swear to God it was real, I could feel your heartbeat while you slept but still I woke into a dark room and let the world slowly come back to me and I don't know how but that illusion felt more real than my life has for a while now and I started grasping for someone on the couch next to me only to find I was alone, and I keep waiting for someone to tell me to calm down, that this is all a bad dream, I keep hoping I'll wake up and this will all seem foggy and distant because last night couldn't have been in my head, I could feel your heartbeat while you slept.

I am a figment of your imagination.
A product of your creation,
a mere fabrication,
your own fantastic notion.

I'm not real,
I'm not real,
I'm not real.

I felt so real, so live.
I just wanted to survive.
Let me come alive,
something for which to strive.

I'm not real.
I'm not real.
I am real.

I've got scars on my wrist
I've got scars on my wrist from the time I got too drunk
I got too drunk because I wanted to be brave enough
To be brave enough to tell him I loved him
I told him I loved him in the same breath as I told him I was dying
I was dying because my eyes wouldn't stay open
Eyes wouldn't stay open because I kept closing them
Kept closing them because I didn't want to see the blood all over one of the good white towels
All over one of the good white towels because I tried to wash it off in the shower but it kept bleeding
Kept bleeding because I cut deeper than I thought I had
Cut deeper than I thought I had because I couldn't feel it
Couldn't feel it because I was too drunk
I was too drunk because I drank all the beers left in the fridge and the ***** in the freezer
The ***** in the freezer because the beer wasn't strong enough
Wasn't strong enough
Wasn't strong enough

My hand has never felt this heavy.
I can barely hold the pen up.
Even as I write this, i don't know where it will end up.
But I fear it won't be good enough.
No matter what I write down.
Nothing could rightly express these thoughts, feelings, and my heart sounds,
Sad and broken, daily hurting,
Haunted nightly by these demons.
I've wasted countless hours with hypothetical ******* reasons,
And nothing seems to make sense.
And nothing seems to matter.
Nothing seems to get better,
No 'happy ever afters'.
Life is much more cruel.
The pain's almost too much.
If a heart gets broken, time will heal it,
There's no safe crutch.

No words could truly ever express,
or pay respects
but I swear I'll always try my best
To keep you in my memories.
Which is ironic, since you died in an infiniti.
I'll keep you in my heart and soul and hope this brings tranquility.