what does
your love look like?

i suspect
you don't
even know

but
don't you want to?

can't you just
stop
being in denial

open your **** eyes
and help me
say the words
i haven't been able to

but i guess
what could i expect
from the person
who thinks
they still love me?

you thought i was going to work
but i went north instead

driving fast around the curves
until the road's end

i have to get to the top
to the highest point

it's the farthest i can get from you
and the closest to the sky

maybe the wind will just
******* away

when does
an internal rebellion
become
an external one?

when does
bravery
overcome
fear?

when does
the truth of my heart
decide
the words in my mouth?

my stomach
can barely tolerate
going through the motions

i've slowly become trapped
i'm no longer me
grasping in the dark
for the latch that,
when opened,
will set me free

what happens
now
when
i don't love you
anymore?

i'm slowly building
enough courage
to take
the first step

emergency
the abyss
we finally faced it
and i
stumbled back
unable to contemplate
that next
tumbling
step

what does this mean
for me and you
when i
still can’t tell the truth?

i’m lying
everyday
to keep
us together

being content
never lasts long
when
you're faking it

my disgust
distaste for you
eclipses
everything else