Like the night I am alone, surrounded
By nothing but by much, I am
Like a star in the sky surrounded
By many but never more alone.
  
I am surrounded by everything,
Some times to close for comfort,
I wish for the peace of loneliness
For I am alone in myself.
  
Can I survive the noise that
Is the quiet myself, my thoughts
To loud I just wish for peace I
Am surrounded by much but
Never more alone.

You text yourself snipets of thoughts/lines, and when you go back to retrieve them you notice the only person you've texted back all day was yourself.

Flesh and bone,
the prison that
surrounds me.
Sentenced to the
pain of the flesh,
this prison that
grows weak with
age. My only freedom
is death, my last
breath releases me.
This sentence is now
over, my spirit set
free from this
prison of bone
and flesh.

I am

love

I am

hate

I am

sorrow

I am

happiness

I am  

greed

I am

charity

I am  

  fed to much

I am

starving

I am

humanity

I am

my self.

I showed you friendship, I
showed you trust, I gave you
respect, but you gave me
none of the above, I tried
my best which wasn't enough.

I helped you and in turn you
stabbed me in the back, not an...
inch but to the hilt, if you could
you would have pushed it further.
Unable to pull it out because you
stuck it in so deep in to my back,
where was the trust.

How could you betray me, was it a
must, could you not respect me
enough.

Having this imbedded hurts enough,
but the help that was given repaid
this way hurts the most with the loss
of trust.

To see one self from a
diffrent view, to see your
self through the eyes of another,
would you see that which you were
or would the view be diffrent, not
liking what you see.

Would you change or be the same
confident that you like what you
see. That no change is needed as these
are the eyes of another, not the same
of which you see you.  

Would looking through the eyes another
as the eyes looking back are your
own, cofident as the person looking is your
reflection in the mirror seeing a reflection
that in your mind you either love, confident
in what you see when seeing you.

Or as the eyes of another, not liking
that which you are hating that which
is looking at you wanting to never to look
at the person hating that which is you.

You got into my mind.
You, a random guy.
I was just trying to start my new life and you were kind.
I shared with you, a conversation, and since I knew I would probably never see you again I tried not to be my normal shy.

You came into my life once more.
You, my stranger.
I always kept you in my mind but it has such a long time I did not recognize at first that it was you from before.
I thought to meet you again, for you and I to become friends, it must be some sort of fate, a reminder that evil was gone and so was the danger.

You became my support.
You, my most special person.
I eventually let you in because I was falling apart and as I did my best to hide it, you saw and our friendship you did not abort.
I grew more and more fond of you, for you stayed by my side, and with your help I did not worsen.

You became my angel sent from above.
You, the one I trusted the most.
I decided I had to leave for a while to try to get myself fixed for good and you show your support by announcing you had the same feeling for me, love.
I do not really believe in God but if  there ever was a time it would have then because I felt like I was on cloud 9, sorry I do not mean to boast.

You made me a fool.
You, who is a stranger after all.
I tried to keep in touch but with each ignored attempt I felt more like some stupid mule.
I do not understand how one can talk of love but not try to write or try to call.

You gave me love, you gave me pain, you gave me hope to a degree.
You, the one who built me up, then stood aside to let me fall too.
I must tell you that even though your love was a lie, to me it was not, and it was more special because I never would have imagined anyone outside my family could love me.
I must tell you because of that I can do nothing but thank you.

I wake to the sounds of birds.and I can't find it beautiful.
I watch as the sun streams in.and I can't find it beautiful.
Life hustles around me and I can't find even the smell of roses beautiful.
Someone comes in,their smile fixed in place.they tell me good news.Should I find this beautiful?and yet no matter how hard I try,things that once excited me as a child only make me realise there is no positive without a negative.
And so to me,nothing is beautiful.