So here I am
As I Always do

Breathing the same air
Walking the same steets

You cannot see me
But I never stop hoping
That you can
Feel

my heart is bitter
as
the coffee
you make for me

one more time
I lied to you

this house is not a home
you're so ungrateful

my heart is dark
like the coffee you make for me

take all the good pieces of me
look now the monster you made of me

partly afraid
you'll drown without me

I'll untie myself
hold onto someone else

asking questions
with answers
she and I both know

I'll miss drinking coffee in the morning years from now

It’s in the quiet moments the reality seeps back in
She is losing her mother but isn’t sure when
She’s trying to be ok and just enjoy the time but that **** clock keeps ticking and she’s running out of time
The battle has been fought and there is no way to win
At least we’ll be together, mother and daughter, in the end

my lies run far

fitting in

cheating

what will my brain say

I avoid the truth

can't be honest

but I hate liars

like myself

I sit here,
Starring into a lit screen,
The colours of you,
are all I see,
as I gaze into your eyes,
and to your lovely smile,
I trace your lips,
just for a little while.

I go and search for where you're hiding,
I see that you're wearing a big brown coat,
Are you trying to hide your body?
Has someone destroyed your hearts hope?
I'd love to help you in this situation,
But I keep my distance from you,
If you just talked to me,
Maybe I could show you, that I'm your antidote.

I watch you laugh,
through the window from a far,
Who is this guy you're with?
Is funny? Is he smart?
Would he ever take your coat?
When will you ever notice,
That I am your antidote.

You asked
What is the scariest part?

I answer
The scariest part
is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness

The scariest part
is the realization  
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
at 2 AM
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can't even cry
because you don't even care

line's I can't erase
sleep on it
tomorrow is your day

I know what you're up to
I have to disappoint you
there's a way for me to move on

If it wasn't so hard to love you
we could cross this plane
I tried holding you close

let me in
all I needed was you
take the key

don't lock me inside
I won't be sorry if you leave
I won't be sorry when I go

you'll never have my heart
until you let me go