Poems that aren't that Great

Apr 2017

Al

As I walked myself back to my car
I watched his back retreat into his house.
The thought that continually raced through my mind was
"I blew it."
And contrary to the smile on my face,
it wasn't in the fun way.
The truth was that I'd blown it because I hadn't blown it.
While I was flirting over cheese and bread,
he was just waiting for me to give him head.
As we split a bottle of Brandy,
it was all in the hopes of getting a quick handy.
As I was trying to get him to open up,
he was trying to get me to open up.

I knew later, I'd lay in bed.
My shaky breaths coming in deep,
wondering if it was all of them
or really
just me?
But for now, I was content
with the fact that I'd be alone this summer
just because I wouldn't give a hummer.

I used to be mad at you, but I'm not anymore.
Also, I saw that pic of you on Instagram and even though my friends say you're ugly now, I still think you're kinda hot.

#relationships #failure #sexualcontent

Apr 2017

Al

Our Relationship is Stupid

Our Relationship is so stupid
You look like a zombie
You're 6'4", barely 150 lbs
Medically speaking, that's just gross.
My body's all sharp bones, nowhere soft left
Sometimes I can tell you've been drinking when you pick me up
Sometimes I can't
Sometimes you bring me to parties where there's a pile of *******
the size of a dinner plate
right on the coffee table
Sometimes I make you buy me *****

We're so stupid
We just sit on the couch
and kiss
and watch movies written for kids
talking about politics as if we could change ****
sharing a blanket as if we were in love

You're just so stupid
because you think I'm funny when I bomb an open mic
and you tell me you love me when my tics keep me up at night
and you kiss my fingertips when they bleed from my bites
I can't control my body
But you're so stupd
that you still love it

We're that couple that got in a fight in the cub parking lot at midnight
The couple that made out in your Toyota corolla by the water tower
The couple that ruins every party
The couple that makes out with others in front of each other
Just to see that spark of jealousy
We're that couple that everyone tells to break up
but we don't

But I'm pretty stupid too
because I love you when you can't sit still
When you stop taking your medication
When your head aches from withdrawal
I still love to lay beside you in bed
the curtains drawn to keep out the light at 3 in the afternoon
When the doctor's say it's ADHD but you say it's a sparkling personality
when the voices in your head make you want to die
I still love you

#love #dysfunctional #stupidity

Apr 2017

Al

Stand-Up Comedy

Who knows how I'd gotten the courage,
or where it came from?
But somehow, I found myself on the stage
Mic in hand
Palms sweating
My toes tapping nervously on the wooden floor.
I didn't have anything prepared.
Just half-formed shower thoughts,
and the hope that I'd be good enough.
This was the start of a potential career,
or the end of one.
A career I'd dreamed of,
taken classes for,
watched videos and taken extensive notes for.
A career that occupied my thoughts with the constant
"Could I do that?"
I did my bit, mostly with my eyes focused above the heads of the crowd,
and I cataloged the responses.
Out of 6 jokes,
I got two half-hearted chuckles,
and one almost complete laugh.
I bombed.
As I walked back to my car,
your hand tapped my shoulder just once.
Firm, but hesitant.
"I liked your bit. You've got some potential."
"I took some notes, if you want them."
I'd seen your stuff on youtube,
recognized you immediately,
fought back the star-struck numbness of my mind
and said "Thanks, I'd love them."
Before you turned away, you gave me one last comment.
"Maybe I'll be opening for you in a few years."

I think I'm pretty fun, which is generally a pretty good sign that I'm not.

#npmcompliment #meh

— The End —