I need a night long nap.
I need two more days of sleep.
I need a little more rest
to bring out the best of me.

My body doesn’t move
like it used to,
except for the jiggly parts
that burst through,
like a mushroom
overflowing
from my jeans.

My minds doesn’t work
like it used to,
all these words
do not flow freely
all these verbs,
they elude me.

I may be acting goofy
but it is because
I am super sleepy,
please give me
at least three more
hours before
I have to be awake.

I pick apart
the scraps
and shards
of shattered hearts.

I clean the
bleached bones,
sweep the
stained sidewalks
that ragged strangers
call home,
where they
sleep alone
or together
in whatever
good or bad
weather
they are
dealing with.

I read the words
till my red eyes
dry up and burn
with the tension
of spending
too much time
on this
disjointing
internet
system,
this connected
form of
isolation.

I fight
a lazy battle
to find the
right way
to say
something
meaningful.

It is just
spurts of dust
to connect us.
Not much
of the junk
I write
at night
is viable
or will hold up
to the light
of space and time.

But, still I write.

I got no swag,
just a split spine
that sits in a bag,
that I drag
everywhere
I go.

Here is a truth
when I do
what I do,
by not reaching out
to the few who
used to care
to stop and share
their time
and stuff,

then why should I
expect
when I get
back to myself
that they
or anyone else
would give
this ghost
any notice
at all?

The bar is split in to two distinct moods.
One half is red bricks and well treated
water resistant wood
with soft lighting that aches for some
classical piano and violin instrumental.

The other half is a metal wall with
wonderful works of  
abstract art scattered on it,
small canvasses that explode in
strange color arrangements
perfect for the throaty blues muse
who pours her heart out
in a variety of well written tunes.

Lightly tanned hands
move in a slow dance
as long brown shimmering strands
are swung around to the sound
of the band’s soft collaborative movements.

Her fingers start snapping
while one entranced patron sits tapping
out similar rhythms.

An ear-piercing projection
of solid soulful vocalization
breaks the young man’s enchantment
as he is startled to the point of
almost falling out of his chair.

A couple of tunes later
she bends towards
more eclectic electric cords
blending in with
her family companions
as she finishes the night
with a sweet set of
awesome songs
the thinning crowd loves.

I got a list of long ago
mistakes I made
that I can’t let go,
and I know
they made me who
I am,
but *******

I could use a flash back.
I could use a rewrite.
I could use a do over.
Can I get one tonight?

Got a handful of
people that I loved
who will not
be coming back from
the other side
of that make believe
afterlife.

I could use a flash back.
I could use a rewrite.
I could use a do over.
Can I get one tonight?

Not enough fingers and toes
to count all of those
mistakes that take
and shake me from
my quiet repose.
I hate all of those
bad decisions,
but I am in
no position
to revisit
and fix them.

I could use a flash back.
I could use a rewrite.
I could use a do over.
Can I get one tonight?

I won’t get a flash back.
I won’t get a rewrite.
I won’t get a do over
tonight,
so, I need to just
get one with my
little life.

She is made to speak
without words,
makes me weep
when she sweeps
her hands across
the wooden floor boards
raising them up
then dropping them
once more.
  
She is made to speak
with a well defined
unique physique,
strong and tiny
sparkling shoes
move as I lose
myself
and gain a muse.

A gazelle like
graceful rise
as she jumps
oh, so high
that I feel
angels will
drop from the sky
just to catch
her eyes
for a second.

She is made to speak,
with arms and feet
that move like
spiraling gas clouds
in the heaven,
a body that bends like
a sweet stream,
and she visits me discreetly
in my nighttime
and daydreams.

She is made to speak
and though I seek
to be near her,
I never get to hear her.
I only know her
from a distance
in the form of dance.

I want to be fit,
but ****
I love
chocolate.

I want to be ripped
but ****
that donut
is so delicious.

I want to be cut
but I love the
pizza hut.

I want to be ****
but the Chinese
buffet just gets me.

I want to be healthy
and if it wasn’t for
junk food
I would be.

I got the gym **** down
it is the food that hurts me.