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 May 2019
Cristina Dean
I’m thinking about Joni Mitchel’s River
How in the midst of
Describing her lonely stale Christmas
She breaks out with
“I made my baby cry”
And of Hemingway
In The Sun Also Rises
Describing the night, the bar,
The scene and then says
“and with them was Brett”
I’m drunk and I’m thinking too much and
Aching for
Something to stop me on my heels, my pupils wide
My obsession burning on my lips
It’s my first day of school tomorrow
I’m scared of mediocrity
So I’m drinking hard tonight to make
Sure it never gets to me
My heart will always sing
Let it be blue
Let it be dark
But it shall sing
I’m smoking cigarettes like I have no due date
Give me a thing to make a mess of, life.
I’m bored and begging. I want
The wild heart searching like a lioness in the
Heat of the savannah night
I want my nails dug deep into it
I want it to squeal
Life, give me something to
Make a mess of
It doesn’t have to be this way
But it is
The clock ticking
Towards midnight
Like a knife
On my skin
Give me something right
And I’ll make a
Mess of it tonight.
 May 2019
Jay M
Fragile framed edge
So carefully wondering
Blueprinted dreaming
Plans forming
From nothing but the word
Arizona

Possibly...

When childhood has ended
When the time has come
I shall be prepared
Ready for my next thing to do
Oh, I know;
It's going to be everything new

Right when it ends
As we fade into the night
It will not be my last goodbye
For I shall be close by

Saving
Every penny
But if only
I had a penny
For every thought

Starting early
Is better
Than being so lost
When the moment comes

I'd love to leave it alone
But I can't let it go...

- Jay M
May 28th, 2019
I've been thinking about what comes after high school.
 May 2019
Graff1980
I know,
it does not load
the whole truth,
the pixels are blurred
and though
their mouths
are open wide
I cannot hear
what they say.

I cannot
feel their pain,
or taste
previous passions
that were once
plucked
from their
plump lips.

I know
time will
eclipse
all this
making
their meaning
even more
of a mystery to me.

So, I see them
in shades of black and white
renderings of
their strange and wonderful
past existence.

They may be dead
or still growing,
showing
new sides
of their lives
or refracting
different angles.

All I know for certain
is though I am intrigued
by what wonders I see

I really don’t know them.
 May 2019
Mike Hauser
i'm positive

it's going to go bad over time

relative

to my pessimistic frame of mind
 May 2019
Graff1980
These are not triggers
but poignant
pen points pricking
my nostalgia
by pulling potent
sensory information.

Like little electrodes
they let go and explode.

Strawberry and chocolate

take me back to
a place I don’t want to
revisit,
an old housing complex
that I am no longer missing.

The sound of a piano
let’s me let go
and fall with the flow
of fantastic chords,
back to the floor
by the wooden door
frame
next to my grandma’s
******* piano.

A cold concrete step
or warm summer sweat
lets me get a taste of
things I forgot
but still love
like grandma’s
raisin cinnamon swirl buns.

Memories’ mission
for what is missing
and needs remembering
seeds these things inside of me
to produce a crop
of reminiscence
and I am still recalling
bits and parts of them.
 May 2019
Abbie Victoria
They call it BPD
A illness that shapes me,
Its the “I don’t fit in” disorder,
The “Your the one who’s out of order.”
Come to terms I now admit,
How hard I felt each near hit.
Always one with the conflict,
feelings of A counterfeit.
There turns A time of no cease,
absence of light is unleashed,
out of the blue from the inside,
this empty form and crowded mind.
A Diagnosis is in ..
The cerebrums burnt,
like third degree skin,
Its now over sensitive to everything.

The cause of the burns,
Is internal fires,
that incinerated mental wires.
Did I change who I am,
for A world i saw to be A sham,
attempting to form A personality,
Ill try them on to see what fits me.

Not afraid to be on my own
yet again, not all alone.
To see the great in everyone
until reminded that Im wrong.
If everything is all black and white,
Right or wrong,
where do I look too belong,
My solitary single handed fight,
To search for release of this plight.
Habits become traits.
 May 2019
Graff1980
Desire
further befuddles
an already
addled mind.
 May 2019
Graff1980
What is sadness
but an egg cracked heart
bleeding whilst beating,
pleading for the pain
to quit calling our name.

What is loneliness
but the same heart
hidden in
the beginning
of youth’s
spinning
those wavering intentions,
so many blanks skies,
too many to mention
as she stares
at a field bare
of flowers
or any crop,
looking for
the time
when her pain will stop.

What is life
but every sad scene
played in-between
the questioning
and hoping,
then coping
with the lack
of any meaning.

What is respite
but when her
tiny body drops
and she does not
have to yield to
the furnace of feelings
that was killing
all that made her
who she was.
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