there are days that are not easy

moments tethered to exhaustion and preoccupation

music muted within thick walls of gray

there are starless nights

stones that cannot seem to be moved


then new light arrives


the air cools to an easy breath

the delicate electricity that shakes the heart becomes weightless with wonder

the heaviness of what just was flashes and falls away

like the underwing of a red hawk passing beneath the soul of the sun

it is a conversation
between


rain and roof
stream and stones
snow and silence
wind and wing
the unfurling yellow flower and the slightest crack in the pavement


it is a conversation
between


mystery and wonder
and it must always be so

he lives in an oblong trailer
at a trailer park.

every night he'd make a pitcher of margaritas.
salt around the rim of the glass.
crushed ice to the top of the glass.
the glass cold to his hand.

he turns the t.v. on
and the lamp on the night stand off
and sits in the easy chair
in the darkened room.

he'd drinks the margaritas
and watches t.v. until the station
goes off the air

and then watches the random dot pixels
and listens to the static coming
out of the t.v. speaker.

the flashes of light flickering.
and the blue light settles on his face.
eyes open, staring.

the darkness reached for him
and in the ghostly flickering,
he let it.

yes,
i love a compliment
(i'm only human)
but this is getting confusing.

if i'm so great
why couldn't you stay?

if i'm so deserving of love
why couldn't you love me?

if i'm so beautiful
why'd you always criticize me?

you were dead-set on tearing me down.

& now,
i wonder,
do you hear yourself
when you say these sweet things to me?

what do you really think,
when you think of me?

to you, i am exception,
that for love, you'd do anything
you would move the sun and the heavens
if only, you could see me a little longer

in your arms, i am light.
i dance on clouds and pull on the strings of a lyre
foolishly, i wonder and i worry
but ask, is an angel ever a burden?

to your ears, i am harmony.
indifferent to the songs and notes of many
but when i sing, you smile
and kiss the parts of my mind that were chaos

to you, i must be a god,
made of worship and prayer
yet, even an all knowing being
couldn't have seen a love like yours

know that immortality means nothing
for it is only a skin of myself, that i'd shed
if only, to be the one that you love
i would certainly face death

it's an awfully bright afternoon
to be this sad.
if i try to take the smallest of breaths,
maybe the  world would forget about me - again.
if i tried a bit harder,
maybe i'll forget too.

Every day feels like I'm drowning in my thoughts.
I cannot run from it.
Nightmare becomes a scream, but rain is not an option.

I tried to become a star
It shines, but it is filled with lies.
Every clap sounds like a clown.
Cry me a river, I swear I'd drown myself.

I think I'm falling for you—
I can feel the ache,
its every telltale sign.

I think I'm falling for you—
have needed to, wanted to,
since I can remember.

I think I'm falling for you—
for the idea of you
I couldn’t help but create.