Lately I’ve been having trouble breathing.
Everything around me closes in;
it swells up leaving no room.
It gets so tight that no air
could possibly squeeze through.
And then I pass out.
Only it doesn’t stop.
I keep waking,
endlessly struggling for air-
only to pass out in a panic.

Loneliness is intrusive.
I hate people.
But I need company.
I'm picky, selective.
I want to be alone.
I don't trust people.
Paranoid.
The worst comes to mind.
In bed.
Chained in my own contradictions.
Pessimism, no hope.
Quiet, withdrawn.
Stuck in my mind.
Escaping this toxic situation I'm in.
I feel blind, don't be kind.
The prison cell.
The illusion of chaos rummaging in distortion.
Don't look at me.
I feel pain, misery, Loneliness, misunderstood.
Hated for who I am.
Let me out

these lines will be filled with rage
with hatred against myself
against the disturbing thoughts and
the fragile bones of mine

i am made of shattered glass,
of mislead paths,
a bad child in a world
full of good people

my thoughts make me
a girl of hell
my actions a demon
possessing her beloved

my mother cries in agony
as her oldest
deprives herself of food and life
but deep inside she knows
this girl deserves it all

My hands are strong, but my knees are weak.
I fall to the ground, nerves shaking to my feet.
I look at the ground, gripping it tight with my last nerve.
A battle that beckoned my own strengths...
I question, is my weakness defeating me?
Maybe I am locked to my own chain.
Is depth really my own despair?
Or does my darkness make its own light that only I can transform and foresee.
I am facing a new beginning, change.
Only, still hopelessly romantic with a love sickness that destroys me.
Depressed by my own loneliness.
Am I beautiful?
Or am I blinded by what's to come
...
The fire lurks within, strong hands, but weak knees.
Shaking, to the inner pits of me.
A love to destroy, I am worthy.
I only ask of a man of my worth to be mine.
I set fire to the rain, and I watch the sky burn, as I touch the flame

Take this pain away from me, take this heart and leave me be.
A love so deep it burns...
The craving for it is forbidden to me.
Daring to my disclosure of the unforeseen.
I need you, I ******' love you.
Come to me.
NOW....
I miss you...
It hurts.
I feel empty...
Treasureless gold and anything I can do to distract myself from it.
The heavens want us together, my twin flame.
Can you feel it?
The intensity of it is so untouched, passionate and chaotically
driven, pulsating through every vain like a quench of thirst that is impossible to satisfy, gripping tight onto my lost soul like a clutch being pushed on hold.
Darling, I ****** love you
With everything I have inside of me.
Continuously shaking, Are you watching me?