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 Feb 2015
Adam Childs
There are words that haunt me
Which hide in the shadows
Under the bed
Or in the closet
And even when I bury my head
Sleep at the bottom of the bed

  Such words  

Are you really leaving
I thought we were going
To be together

"you   never     asked

      You never asked      Adam "

Such words rattle like
pebbles in a barrel
within my soul

Such words
Such crumbs

How I adore them
For they offer more light
In this night
Than any day has to offer

Such words

"Do you have feelings for
Me Adam because
I have feelings for you"

Then why must you go

Such words haunt me
Fill me and I long for them back  
For they carry time and space

I Love you
  I really Love you

"I Love you too
       I actually do
         I actually do

And for just one moment
Everything was just perfect

As she smiled
I gazed

How those words still haunt me
Trying a much simpler style , I enjoyed writing
 Feb 2015
Adam Childs
OUTSIDE VOICES

I have been troubled by
Many outside voices

who say "You did not try "

Please do not say I never tried
Because I saw her turmoil
I saw her tortured confusion
As she was pulled and twisted
From here to here by all
For am I to take part
Tie her in the racks
Stretch and contort her
For I could only Love her

Other voices thought me a looser

Said I must not falter
Like its all about
Bricks and mortar
Like how many houses
Do you own
Like how many lady's
Do you own

Other voices said "where is your strength
Where is your passion "

Well I say my inaction
Showed far more affection
And passion for her soul
And the strength to hold her
While not grabbing her
As she passed through
Took the roots from
A Thousand forests
As all my love is free
And I can only make her a nest
And offer her a place to erst

Other voices said " Spill the beans
to reclaim your power "

I see reclaim my power
So I may stand on a tower
While she slips into a whirlpool
Of contorted emotional chaos
I am sorry but I am not infected
With the human disease
POWER AND CONTROL
And is not inspired
To rip and tear
Even if women secretly declare
They like being dragged by their hair
If that is the way they choose
I guess I really do loose

For my love could only carry her through

But I say to all of this
It is the Love that lets go
Which lives the longest
As I still here her laughter
My LOVE will be felt long after
JUST EXPLORING DIFFERENT STYLE
 Feb 2015
Adam Childs
Caught in the snares
of beauty
I am a willing victim

As I lie next to Tate
Naked in many ways

As I am lost in every
Curve and lock of hair

             As she proclaims
               " YOU ARE ****
                  YOU ARE **** "

I paint over my nerves
with directionless words
of work and horses

Returning  to me a bright smile
with  sparkling eyes
she climbs onto me  giggling

          And says  
           "YOU LOVE HORSES
             YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON
              AND YOU ARE **** "

Dumbfounded by her words
But i feel no need to question  
For i am wiery soul that seeks rest
So gather your lies around me
So I may shelter in your branches    

Tell me your
       Sweet lies
Take my money
  I will close my eyes

As I bury my sight like
A mole in his hole
A dark insecurity
Eyes shut like a baby mouse
Not ready for the world

But on opening my eyes
I see her unmoved
Striking eyes fixed on me
Wide open like nets
As though collecting
All my past mistakes
Grinding them into two shiny pearls
As she looks back into me            

And with a russian accent she says
              " I  NO LIE
                  I  NO LIE"
she shakes her head
                "  YOU ARE **** "
Fumbling hands reach out of my heart
Wishing to catch such words
But they are spilled
As my disbelieveing soul
Is already full with  rejection
Mine or the worlds
It has all become blurred

But I care not for my heart rests easy
As I am filled with  gratitude
Letting  my Love just flow and flow
 Feb 2015
Adam Childs
To the girl that never came
I would like
You to know
I am still waiting

They told me
Something better
Around the corner
Is just waiting
But she never came

I have been waiting
By the window
Around the corner
On  the phone
And on my own
But she never came

I wish she only knew
I have been weeding
A very sacred place
For our love to grow
On a daily base

As hope ran away
Some where dark
I would rather , not say
Did she ever hear
The song of my
Humming bird heart

Now lost its voice
I wish she would
Consider me a choice
bended  knees  
I am still asking

Oh God
My friend is now helping
Dignity needs saving
Catch me God
My heart is breaking

As I am still waiting  
For the girl
That never came
 Feb 2015
Adam Childs
Far far away
As though locked in a room
A doll in a cupboard
Is a girl called Alice
Alice the stripper

I myself at home looking for connection
Flick through cams
As though searching yellow pages

My attention caught
As though an anchor
Was around my heart
I stop on Alice

Fragile and vulnerable is what I see

I take her to
""Private chat""
And I tap my keyboard
As fast as hummingbirds wings
To make a connection

But it is no use
As clothes fall of her like broken slates
Of a discarded building  
Only to reveal half robot
Half dead human being

I type, "STOP STOP"

But she is lost in her routine
An act of ****** pleasure

"Please stop" ,I type

But her soul scattered
As though beaten away
By stampeding Rhino
For a while we just
Float together
In outer space

Where are you Alice
My heart bleeds

As though a spell had been broken
A nervous silence is ruptured
And like Apollo 13
As she types "hello"
Houston calling Houston
A relief breaths through
My whole being

I type,  " hello there"
And ask how are you  
I thank her for her **** routine
  
Then she in response springs back up
As though being controlled
By a remote
Held in my hands

"No No No need no need", I cry I type
" just talk just talk I don't want this"

My heart feeling her vulnerability
Reaches through the screen
seeking to cover like a blanket

Shortly after she covers herself
With a beautiful Royal Blue blanket
I type ," That colour looks beautiful on you
You must wear it when Mr Right
Invites you to a ball
And I tell her she would be stunning
And would shine in that blue  
And the lucky man would be the envy of the ball

A sparkle for the first time
Returns to her eyes

Even more beautiful now I feel

It was as though a harvest moon
Had found a gap through
Thick clouds on a very dark night
As her soul returned home
She began to blossom
Like a brave crocus flower
Pushing through the snow

My soul danced with pleasure
As the love in my heart
Spun around her with the joy
Of a long lost planet
Who had just found his sun

As time passed my need to leave
The conversation approached
I asked her to promise me
To always , Love yourself Always
And to know that you are
A treasure
And that you are special

Her eyes began to well up
As my heart swelled up
As a tear drop fell on her being
It was welcomed like the first
Drop of rain
After a long hard drought

After on my way to friends I pondered
Why is it
Like diamonds in coal
Are jewels so easy to find
In dark places
But become so rare
In the light of prosperity

And why so easily condemned
By world
Which stands on moral castles
Built by the power of
Their own pride and vanity
They have their reward on their tower
I feel Jesus would say

I think
If the love in my heart
Is that of our God
I know who
HE LOVES MOST
 Feb 2015
Adam Childs
My life, my dream
I feel, so hard to see
That a girl would
want to be with me

But I try anyway

As God looks down
from high above
I struggle in
a tiny boat
In a giant sea

"Don't worry God",
I say
"I don't expect
any help from you"

But I will try anyway

In my hopeless pursuit
of my impossible dream
I feel many of life's
cheeky devil's laugh
and chuckle at me

But I try anyway

As I am left wide open
my shrinking heart takes
a deep breath and pushes
out with a bravery

Trying so very hard
to be my very best
But I just can not
pass you IQ test

But I try anyway

I am very sure that
you will pick someone
with so much more
so very much better
and to the letter

But I try anyway
If not with you
With someone new

As I get up each day
and try and remove
the Sahara that
stands in my way

It maybe all in vain
as I try to remove
every single grain

But I try anyway

And as I sit under
the midnight sky
I feel that God
has forgotten me

I promise myself
That I will
TRY ANYWAY

— The End —