delicate swirls
                              abstract motif
                                                             dainty spirals



I.
I see you as a wide sheet of fabric
Beautiful, paisley pattern
Highlighting your *odd qualities
That I love, more than you could get.

How you shimmer and shine
So well.



II.
Yet, I knew not that there exists -
Very quietly bold and calmly geometric;
Another sheet beneath this visible one
A layer concealed, that only my oblivion feels.

How you shiver and hide
So well.



III.
So, as I learn and delve and discover
Burrowing passages and intense pathways
A myriad of tunnels within tunnels
Where is the real you?


How alone; thought I knew you
So well.



IV.
Am I thus lost?
Blinded so by the light in your patterns....

[said in one breath:
so, I try to brush ever lightly over artefacts of your stained existence,
ensuring I leave no trace of me...
there I go making a new layer (for me)
only to see...another layer....and yet
another....]

layer upon
         layer upon
                  layer upon
                           layer upon....
layerrrr.



V.
Into the icy face of wind, words are flung
Only, they come back...messier!

Disaster.....blast the blundering heart in dusty chokes
Love thrives not in intemperate climes.


At which point did you let your voice die?
Perhaps you hide in fear, of suffering alone....

So long.



VI.
There stands a figure in the circle of light....lonesome
We hover near the highly-charged cosmos of chance
Daring the winds to take us, off guard
To glide away on impossible parades....




S T, 28 April 2013

There spun a world above my head and I could enter
it
At any time I wanted to, whenever I saw
fit
At first it was a rendezvous, a place that I would
go
To take reprieve of circumstance that I was born to
know
And then the strangest thing occurred, I managed to
perceive
That I was still in spinning state the moment I would
leave
And so began the era of my physical
demise
For all I needed to survive was just a pair of
eyes
Behind the visage of my thoughts I dug a perfect
hole
A buried bed, a grave, a tomb, the epitaph - my
soul

I sit here
Desperately soaking up
Whatever information I can find
I can dig up
I know that I am not meant
To be doing this right here, right now
Yet I continue
I hope that I can take in all of this
That I can find whatever
Little bit
That will help to stop the slight shake
Take away the coldness
Of my fingers

In desperation, I look up similar incidents
That have occurred and I try
To figure out
If there is any end to this sheer insanity
A reason for which
This cursed world doesn't deserve
To end tomorrow

I search, I search, I surf
Trying to find some information
That tells me this world
Is not as cursed as it appears to be
My fingers are still cold
They're still shaking a bit
I am still shocked
I might just be panicking a bit

All I want right now
Is some solution
Some answer
To these rapes that have occurred
I want to be blind again
I don't want to know
That these dumbfoolishdisgusting
men (creatures) felt that that woman deserved it

I need to know that this isn't some god-complex
I need to know that deep inside no one wants to protect them
I want to see them castrated, locked up, executed
I need them to be done away
Because they need to be made an example of

Women cannot step out of their houses
Without being terrified
I am tired of controlling my fist
When someone suggests it was the clothes they wore
That that is what attracted them
I can't stop the shaking
That is attributed more towards anger
Than anything else

I need something done
Our pity won't bring her shattered sanity back
It won't make her ready to trust
Any man ever again
Our pity marches
With candles and tears in our (her) eyes
Will not make her feel anything but
disgust (hatred)
Towards herself

A shattered mind,
An injured body,
A broken trust

She has lost these things
And they
They just seem bent
On blaming it
On scraps of cloth

*(are you ******* kidding me?)

I've invested time
Was it worth the while
In a darkened vile
I have held denial

And I let myself
Keep a burning hell
Made a prison cell
Where my body dwells

I can barely breathe
Every thought a sea
And I choke on heat
From the waves' debris

What have I let in
With an open grin
In a dance I spin
As I burn my skin

I am ashen gray
Like a night in day
Every word I say
Imitation  clay

Where there once was truth
I replaced with you
And I merely do
What you tell me to

In these chains I walk
Shackles tight, can't talk
Turn my mind to chalk
Let you pick the lock

Do you need more space
Rearrange my face
As I speculate
You've already claimed

And I know for sure
Even as it were
That in place of her
I've become a blur

fiddlehead fern rooted in earth

warmth of sunshine gives birth to your unfurling

green forest smiles as you reach toward stars

you are smiling like moonlight

shining back through trees