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Dec 2022 · 1.1k
Sweet angel Gina
Haiven Oconnor Dec 2022
Brown eyed angel
Sent to untangle my tangles
Shown me the lives I would have in different angles

Trying to Beat my addiction like Cain did able
2018 was like having a tv but no cable
Never thought my life would become this mangled..
So I left to become something more stable
Just to Find 2019 sitting at my table
Thanks for saving me my brown eyed angel ❤️
This poem is about surviving addiction and how god always does his work through the ones that love you the most.
Jul 2017 · 413
Sleepless
Haiven Oconnor Jul 2017
I lay in my bed awake...
Thoughts running through my head nothing I can shake.

There's a fire in my brain that I just can't put out. The thought of you is turning me inside out.

But not such a bad thing
More like a good thing
I just wish i could wake up to you in the morning.

I hate how there's no wrinkles in the sheets where you lay.
I miss ******* at you to clean up your mess.
But I especially miss just laying on your chest.

I hate that I can't help you
But maybe it's for the best.
I don't know..
I can't believe I'd say that.
But I don't want you to think I'm your savior.

I want you to survive on your own without leaning on me.
Jul 2017 · 178
Daze
Haiven Oconnor Jul 2017
Nobody could possibly understand
How much I want you.

The feeling you give me every time you press against my lips.
That high is something you want to never forget.
Waiting all day just to relax after work
A hot bath to soak away all the poison
A drink in one hand and  a smooth choke in the other.
Oh how you make me feel numb
Oh how you turn my thoughts into blank pages and my mouth dryer than sand.
The best medication to cure everything.
..anything
My nose fills with the stench of skunk
But so refreshing
Without that sticky icky
My life might as well be depressing.

But that's why no choke can be quite impressing.
Yet you're gasping for air..trying to beat that unbearable feeling in your chest that just won't go away.

they said the choke helps.
It Takes you to places you've never been before...or never knew that existed..
Jun 2017 · 207
Untitled
Haiven Oconnor Jun 2017
I don't understand how we got here
Where did we go wrong?
This time this isn't a love song

I always thought I was your first
But I was wrong
You'd rather have drugs than your loved one
You're always high and promise me this imaginary life.

But you'd just much rather hit that pipe.
You don't care
I can tell
You've even told me yourself

But this will be the last time I'm 2nd
To you, because in my imaginary world you don't exist.
Jun 2017 · 183
Bitch
Haiven Oconnor Jun 2017
Hi,
My name is Haiven
And I'm a *****
But not your typical old school witch
I'm one of those people that intend to twist
One of those girls with a poisonous kiss.
I'm the one you will definitely miss.

But you won't. I can't tell
You sometimes wish I'd burn in hell.
Maybe even locked up in a old ***** cell

But hey look I'm unique
I won your heart can't you see?
I hold it in the palm of my hand and squeeze it as tight as I can.
But yet you won't break.
Aren't you tired of this ****** me?

Aren't you tired of loving me

Why aren't you tired?

You always tell me reasons why I'm not good enough....Without evening knowing it.

Why can't you accept me like I do you.
Can't you tell we are one of the same two?
Oh right we don't get along.
But why do you think I'm writing this poem?

I try to communicate but you end up turning me away. I may be crazy but who needs medication anyways

Oh that's right,me.. you remind me everyday.
Telling me how I need help.
And You tell me things might not work out.

But I just smile and I'll say "okay I'll do it for you." But if I ask anything the day will rue.

Sometimes i wish things will be the same..
Hopefully we are just playing games
Maybe one day we'll  both be sane.

Hi
My name is haiven
And I'm a *****
Nov 2015 · 425
You
Haiven Oconnor Nov 2015
You
I try to understand how you feel
but how can I understand someone
if I can't understand myself?

I try to fit the pieces together
but all they do is fall
am I that fallen piece?
that piece that seems to never find
a place to put itself into a puzzle

if im that missing piece
how do I function without it?
how do I deal with the madness going on around me?
how do I deal with you?

if I can't function on my own,
how could I understand you,

when I can't understand myself
Nov 2015 · 238
un-name
Haiven Oconnor Nov 2015
I always thought things were good between  us,
but I feel that all you want is a  place to sleep
instead of me..

we always fight
I know we aren't happy
but we are trying to make things work
yet, its not working

I know you're depressed
I know you love me
you know I love you
but I think we need to let go...

go our separate ways
just to be happy again

— The End —