My stomach became painful when you said those things.
Did you even stop to consider?
"Are you not entertained!?"
You didn't even realized the translation of your words.
"You're not enough."
Ok. Ok.
But I missed you so.
******* twatish is what it is.
Spoiled.
Thoughtless.
"Be more flashy
Be more loud
Keep my attention if you want to keep me."
You've ruined it,
My welcome back party has been crashed.
Thanks a bundle dear friend.

My darling boy
Of green-eyed innocence.
Brown hair bias,
With beige finger tips
warm as the wet flesh of your inner cheek.

You color me purple,
Like your favorite color spree.

that was the night we went downtown and I snuck to the bathroom
to take off my underwear,
only to come back and shove the small knot of fabric deep into the pocket of your jeans.
the pink mesh ones with the lace trim.
I liked the way you looked at me.
in a way that conveyed your understanding.
that we shared this little secret among the throngs of people that surrounded us.
through the infinite noise and slush of cider filled cups,
the jostling bodies, the whistle of the wind along the seafront.
amidst all this,
still this one
silent
and simple exchange was shared.

how delicious are memories such as this
when recalled on nights like these.

I want to blow myself to smithereens.*
There's a tightening in my chest that accompanies the shame I feel.
I can be a good girl
I can fake a nice girl
I can detach from my own skin.
Smile. Nod your head. Agree with everything being said.
And when it hurts to be a shell of a person
Remind yourself that you've hurt him worse.

Sometimes being in a relationship means
Being called a ***** at 1am becasue you're too drunk.
Sometimes it means breakfast in bed and savoury kisses.
Sometimes it means annoying the **** out of each other with words that don't mean anything when you can't even remember why you were upset in the first place.
Sometimes it means holding hands inside your coat pocket just to have an excuse to touch.
Sometimes it means you need to hurt him like he hurt you in order to dissolve your own pain.
Sometimes being in a relationship means, the little victories overshadow the defeats, which is enough to make a love endless.

baby when you taste me
I forget all the misery,
no weeping when you tease me.
no melancholy when you get ******.

I am the kernel lodged between your bicuspids.
Use your tongue to nudge me loose.

*******,
dry heave,
dry eyes -
all on me.
I'm a picture
I'm your paint.
Smeary me, deary
to show that you love me.