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Mar 2014 · 534
Contentment
You are the universe that lives in my heart, the stars that reflect in my eyes and all the galaxies infinitely flowing through my soul. Until the end of all my days, it is you"
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 443
The bird without a song
She was a morning bird upon waking.
The most beautiful songs were sung
form her luscious soft lips.
You had never quite heard
songs such as this
She's a mockingbird
Repeating the worlds distress
Uncovering the ugliness
of life's unrest
Coping with the world was a
concept she couldn't quite grasp
All the loveliness that once
filled her chest
Turned to ash and dust
The morning bird and
the mockingbird were
two creatures she knew best
Now flying high above the trees
without purpose or direction
Fluttering those little wings
Until she found a place to build
her nest.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 275
Funeral in my heart
When those words left your lips
It was as though every bad moment
in my life had been multiplied
A numbness took over my entire body
and I couldn't feel you anymore
Your eyes once so full of hope and
desire
No longer will I feel your sweet hands
wrapped around my waist
Dreams of you and I died right before
my eyes
And I could feel myself breaking
as the words left your lips
A deep sadness filled me
Like the dirt piled into
a freshly packed grave
And the waves of hopelessness
overwhelmed me
Those little thoughts of you and I
danced around in my head
I looked at you with sad eyes
but words evaded me
Like little soldiers on the
battlefield evading an attack
Your eyes, your lips, and your words
Spoke three different languages
and for once in my life
you were more confused
than I have ever been
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 806
Missed opportunities
And I will wait for you
Like the broken glass
of a window
Forgotten, and never fixed

I'll always be waiting-
For you to open the door
and not the window
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 387
Pitiful truth
His lips weren't mine
nor did his words belong
to me
I was nothing more than
a sweet intoxicating
fantasy.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
There comes a time in ones life when certain things that once mattered so much, don't mean anything at all. And you ponder the truth beneath your bare and naked bones, when your soul can only endure so much before nothing matters at all. There is only so much a person can take before life engulfs them in the shadows of who they once were. I believe in beauty, and I believe in pain. However, when the two collide, you succumb in weakness like a knife plunging directly to the heart. If not for the little beautiful things in life, and if not for the immeasurable pain we go through that causes us to die inside, over and over and over again. What then, would life be without strife? And what then, would life be without knowing that beauty live's in each of us, and we haven't a **** clue how to let the beauty shine so bright? Eventually it blinds those that couldn't handle your flaws or your imperfectly perfect life. Those absent eyes pierce directly through your soul, and you haven't a clue where the *******'re going or what to do. You're left with nothing but the painful and bitter truth of being human.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
The title of this prose is also lyrics in The Killers song "Human". Just some thoughts rambling about my head when I can't sleep.
Mar 2014 · 388
Swift kick to the gut
There's a certain kind of numbness felt-
It hits you below the belt

Stomach in knots

Nothing left-
And all the cards are dealt

There's a certain kind of numbness felt-
When what you've wanted
disintegrates

And nothing is left
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 293
Unfortunate occurrences
The difference between
you and I

You'll sleep just fine tonight

And sleep for me won't come
until fall

The most unfortunate occurrence of
them all

Is leading someone on..
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 1.0k
Deep blue sea hear me scream
As I sit and stare-
The water motionless,
yet moving along
I gaze upon eternity here-
With white rip tides,
gasping for air
I sit and stare-
The waves endless
in shape and form
Life pummels toward you
without a care-
© 2014 Christina Jackson
You give your soul to someone you hardly know
You gave it all away without knowing
Deep down within the core of your core
You had to have some inclination

A life built upon a false obligation

That giving your all to someone
was a terribly flawed observation
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 671
Phosphorescence
The light in him is slowing dying out
Those beautiful rays that once
illuminated my entire life,
are dying out
LIFE;  The human life is but a
fraction of a second in history
Our lights don't keep shinning on
forever, on into infinity and beyond
Just as the light bulb loses it's
essence and then burns out
We are the light bulb, only
given so much time until it's
thrown away and changed out
Oh beautiful love, with your eyes
radiating so bright. Please,
don't burn out. I need you
to stay a little bit longer
Don't die out. You are not
allowed to leave me here
in this little hell.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 305
Modern love
I cannot in good conscience move forward in my life under the circumstances I'm currently perplexed by.
Mistakenly so, I have fallen for two men.
The first of which, his illustrious and alluring sweet scent, his warm lips pressed against mine.
I'm intoxicated by his every whim, sweat beads leak through my once impenetrable armored skin
Mistakenly so, I have fallen for two men
The second of which, stimulates my mind through use of intellectual punch lines
The lines of which his skin I have yet to be graced by, the eyes of which have never met mine
Mistakenly so, I have fallen for two men
The audacity of my actions has left me with no logical sense of direction
The dexterity of loves swift kick has left me fragile and of not so sweet disposition
I cannot in good conscience move forward in my life under the circumstances I am currently drowning in.
Mistakenly so, I have fallen for two incredibly wonderful men.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 374
Crash collision
Please excuse me for this
I am not especially articulate
In the art of relationships
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 353
Elusive
She bled a different shade of red
Veins hollowed from the inside out
Puncture wounds told old stories
of bitterness and self doubt
The wounds broke open
the blood flowed about

You could always tell
when she was sad
Her eyes wrung out
Dried from all the misplaced
tears she had shed
The complacent look
of dread
She could feel the life
from her drain
All the hopes and dreams
once said
Now long lost riddles
crumbled and dead.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 212
Starry night
You are, as tender as the night
The freshly painted black sky could reach down and brush your lips
In the center of this masterpiece called life
I have but only one wish
The wish to see you smile
You would make a beautiful picture
And light up the whole ****** sky
Turn night into day, with the rays
radiating from your eyes
You could summon all the angels and demons alike
But nothing could compare to the beauty of the way
My eyes light up when you make a subtle sly
Remark, about the way that I look
Or the way that I am
You hold the very best and worst parts of me
In the palm of your hands
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 276
Imprints
Your lips leave an impression on my soul
I am always sad when they have to go


© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 249
The Haunting
I saw a ghost the other day
His eyes hollow, haunting me
from afar
The years spent picking up
every broken piece of my heart
Every scar, inside and out
is only bandaged over
not repaired
I'm afraid the ghost of you
will never disappear
My shoulders do not have room
for one more
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 425
Insidious
Take me as I am-
Broken

Otherwise-

Leave me dancing in the wind-
Weightless

Without shape or from
Simply take me as I am
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Mar 2014 · 630
Temptation lingers
Sign your name upon my lips
I'll sing you a lullaby
Nighttime closes around you
Filling you with lovers bliss
Until you've drunk the poison
L**eave me shaken not stirred
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 408
Chemical distortion
This deafening silence
Kills me slow

You’re killing me slowly
Parts of me are deteriorating
devouring me whole

The chemical compounds
in my brain are screaming-
So frighteningly loud.

My mind won't power down.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 465
Weeping willow
I gazed long and wondered why

An old man with a sultry voice asked
"What's with those sad eyes?'

I gazed long and told him-
That I had forgotten how to cry

And so I sat by the lake
as the sun seeped into the sky

Gazing long into the water-
with dry eyes
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Worrier of the world
We reap what we sow
Forget the answers to
questions once asked
Plea for forgiveness
Holding on tightly,
As if it were our last
Clinging to the brink of death
We remember to forget
We remember to forget
You can’t escape the inevitable
It won’t last
We get lost in metaphors
and allegories and rhymes
None of which make any sense
History repeats itself everyday
We remember to forget
We remember to forget
The blinding bridges
The winding pathways
That led us to demises
we never knew existed
Before reality hit us
Like a ton of bricks
hidden in a sock
We’re all lost, lost
In a tangled web of all the lies
we've been told
The eyes we peered into
Weren't the windows to the soul
But an open doorway
To secret realms we had
yet to explore
We raged fires on and on
Into the dead of night
We remember to forget
We remember to forget
What future truly lies ahead
For all of us, we’re borrowers of time
leaking off the mysterious invisible clock
The hands are broken, and we simply forgot
All that ever was, will eventually be lost
Never to be found again, buried so deeply
Bulldozers will be summoned to unearth  
The secrets we shoveled into the ground
Some long lost years ago
We remember to forget
We remember to forget
So we can all rest peacefully
when we finally lose our heads.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 672
Giving in, and letting go
I want to let you in

Courage or courtesy; who will win?

If I never find the courage to tear down these walls
Please forgive me, if I’m not courteous about it
Don’t let me fall, cause I want to let you in

Strength or weakness; who will win?

If I never find the strength to let you in
Please forgive me, I’m fighting a battle
I can’t seem to win
If my weaknesses are too much for you to bear
Let me know, I’ll excuse myself
And you can simply forget about me

But if my ability to have the courage and courtesy
Never falter; and if my strengths and weaknesses
aren't too much for you to handle

By all means, you’re welcome to stay a while.
Cause I want to let you in
I want nothing more
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 375
Mission failed
The trajectory of the leaves
as they're floating and falling
to the earth.
Mimic a rocket out of orbit
about to make a crash
landing.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 272
First 10w
May your arms become sails
Protecting me from floating
away...
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 564
Ignite
The force and magnitude
of our wires crossing

Electrically charged particles
Radiate throughout the
technologically sparked fires
within our hearts

Bringing forth a trembling
compassion for my waking
life

A simple notion of my devotion
for perpetuating the motions
of our far off and distant love
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 1.1k
The storm
By all accounts, he was everything one could dream a lover to be.
By no account, was he what she was seeking in her delusional reality.
A trustworthy advocate that would suffice for a suitable and comfortable life.
None of what she wanted, was everything he was.
The eloquence in his words, echoed volumes in her head
She wrote of fantastical fairy-tales
All that was and ever will be
Shattered, broken
and dead.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 280
Title (optional)
I can't put this any other way, other than the thoughts I've been having as of late.
You are so far away, like a disconnected cord that once connected us through fate.
We exceeded the laws of time and space
Knew of no other worlds, except the world we lived in when we were free
to be ourselves
No hiding behind the masks, or lying about our pasts
Please don't forget what we had
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 222
The reoccuring nightmare
You stood there starring at me, with those cold dead eyes
and you wouldn't let me leave. I begged and begged.
They called and called for me, but I couldn't answer
My voice was muffled, trailing off into the distance
The wet dirt felt like home to me, I curled up in a ball
wept and wept, but you wouldn't let go of me
You shut me out of my paradise. Years and years
passed, but you would let me in. Was it too much
to ask? That all I wanted, was my life back.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 308
Light-years away
My dearest love,
Your words make me want to
curl up into the fetal position
and reside in your soul forever
-Until then
© 2014 Christina Jackson
The sea resides within your eyes
A ripple of hope radiates
from your muttered cries

The forest echo’s such harmonies
of your faint and distant sighs

You can't hide forever-
behind half truths and half lies
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 400
Unwelcome reality
You cannot lose what was never yours to begin with

No one owns anyone

You belong to one another

Freely and unconditionally

I lost what we had

And there was no room for self doubt

Yet I doubted all the was and all that could have been

Now my life is a mess

Without you, I haven't the faintest clue how to move ahead

I grew too comfortable of the thought that what we had would last



It didn't



Now all my walls have been built back up

and I'm afraid to love again.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 174
Lost at sea
There once was a girl, that thought she could rule the world.
But her reality was broken, and everything she once had was now lost and hopeless.

She could feel the doom like a storm brewing off the coast
Everything she had went up in flames, only faint vapors of smoke remained

It wasn't in her best interest to lose sight of what she wanted so badly
Her grip was too tight, she squeezed the life right out of her dreams
and let them float by.

Only blue skies, or so she thought
Her eyes weren't focused on the prize
Just the thought of holding that prize as her own.

She couldn't have known it would end this way
No one saw it coming, the boat gradually sunk
and she was lost at sea.

With no one there to rescue her
She sunk quietly
into the night.

To her, there was no feasible end in sight
She lost all inhibitions and wouldn't let go of her pride.
Now she tries to justify her actions with excuses and lying eyes.

Her ship has no sails, and no captain to steer the wheel
All she wishes for is a way out of here.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 323
Receding
Death is seeding
It’s all around me

My life is depleting

Lost-

I cannot find thee
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Feb 2014 · 427
A parting memory
There lies, at the hour of separation-
A brief moment where your thoughts
collide into one convoluted jumble of
remorse and a deep presence to understand
the feelings of emptiness
which currently reside at your core

The taste of leftovers, leftover
on your lips-
Begging for a reunion
A longing to recover
and a sensual desire to reminisce

The brush of barren skin against yours
Leaves and imprinted impression on your body
As the clay molds its shape into form, and color
Or lack of color-
Colorless

The expedition of nakedness
The emptiness you're left with
When the untying of  fingers
who were once clasped so tightly together

That feeling; Evades you
Slowly dissipates into uncharted territory

A vulnerable sense of direction-
Terrifies you, makes you shake
in your bones

You begin to understand, when
someone parts from you physically
all feelings fade into a memory,
a moment one could never return to

No matter how tightly you hold on
You can cling and claw at the moment
never to end

But you can never get it back

It's as though you've entered a dream
A weary existence
It poses the question
That what you've experienced
was ever even real to begin with

If you're lucky enough, or rather
unlucky enough, depending on the
given situation

To replay, fast forward, and rewind
Those fleeting moments in your mind

Whether or not you're capable of such abilities
precedes any notion that regardless of what you do
You can't be the "you", you were five, ten, fifteen minutes ago

Life is the clay, constantly molding, shaping
reshaping and reforming itself with each day.

Every second, minute and hour

Eventually you'll dry up
like a dead and wilted flower

You'll be just that

A ceramic piece of art
Forever lost in the echos of time and space

Shadow-less; in a world filled with shadows
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Do you ever feel so broken?

You haven’t a clue what it is
that’s left you feeling so hopeless

Lying awake at night
In the dark
Staring at the ceiling

Wondering why?

And I-
shed my skin
Layer by layer
by layer

Peeling away all of the dead
Scabbed and scarred bits

The shell of what was
No longer lives within the
lining of my skin

The bare and bitter truth-
Of what once was, or what could
have been

I’m naked
I have nothing left to offer
or give

And I rid myself of my many
masks
Disregarded the ceramic,
stone, paper and concrete
Dishevelment of my past

And so, I threw them away
Never to be thought of
or seen again

In the trash they'll stay

Forever will I proudly wear
the true essence
Of my inner and outer being

Simply me
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Jan 2014 · 539
~Invasion of thought~
I feel this pressure pervading into my brain
A forceful presence I cannot explain
It's driving me insane
It's driving me insane

The absence of concentration
The lack of intellectual and emotional stimulation
I keep feeding this beast, but nothing satisfies the
hunger it craves

I am distant from reality
Bordering on a permanent stay
in my minds deluded fantasies

It's driving me insane
It's driving me insane
I can't escape
I can't escape...
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Jan 2014 · 502
The way of the world
Discouraged, I silently wait-
Anticipate the cultivation
of a new surrogate
slowly weighing down
the corporate weights

Generations have died

We need not new worshipers-
Though we preach and preach
of new ways of life

The articulation of a stealthy
misguided population
Rooted deviously within our realm

Subliminal dis-figuration
is cognitively calloused
Deeply punctured inside
the root of our thickly stems-

This, the way of the world

The capital effect
Leaves one hungry, starving-
and dastardly thirsting for more

A consumerist mind-set
Correlates abruptly
with this generation of
"non-thoughtful thinkers"

Consumption of supply
Regurgitating of demand

Are we senseless-
Or just sensible
in cultivating this disheveled war
on our possessions
possessing the rights of man?

Are we grasping at this
misconceived dream
That we can live long and dream
the dreams we feel we're destined
to achieve?

We are the result of the
reality we create and strive
to be

Don't be a commercial-
Be your own documentary
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Jan 2014 · 432
-Blank-
Have I lost you-
Am I incomparable
to another loving soul?

Please, lover of mine-
Where did you go?

This death is seeding
itself, in my garden-
and I haven't half
a mind to reap what I sow

Please, lover of mine-
Where have you gone?

Rest is dwindling into
deprivation
Evading my lofty sense
of observation

Do you love another so-
Where did you go?

I need you-
I must know.
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Jan 2014 · 1.4k
Subconscious duplicity
I would love nothing more
than to wake up next to you,
and see the first smile
part from your sultry morning lips
Sleepy eyes staring back at me
As you gently wrap your warm arms
around my curvaceous naked hips

I would love nothing more;
than to never be awaken from
this unattainable dream
I've been living in
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Jan 2014 · 702
A stones throw away
His eyes; I peer into an abyssal mystery
Of sweet love, but no, not sweet misery

He's an orchid, blooming inside of my heart
She sits and counts. pondering upon
how many days until he'll finally part

Oh love; I'm tangled up in you
Heavily intoxicated
Drunk
On just the very thought of you
© 2014 Christina Jackson
Jan 2014 · 912
Daydreaming of other worlds
She sleeps in a meadow
Fields of blossoming flowers

The scent carries her away

She isn't here, nor there
or anywhere

She sleeps under diamonds
Shinning so bright
Always disappearing
on the clearest of night

Daybreak awaits her
She tries to run away

The roots of the flowers
They grab hold

Pleading

You cannot run
You cannot hide from me

Lost in her own world; all alone

Nothing good could possibly come
of her returning home

© 2014 Christina Jackson
Dec 2013 · 275
Lovely
It was not in the way he spoke his words that made her fall in love with him
It was the way in which he directed those precious words at her and only her,
that made her heart melt through the floor and fall for him more and more.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
The utter lack of words
That no longer flow freely from my tips

Astounds me

For the very fact that I can never shut my rambling lips

I find myself questioning what is it that I have to give?

Cause if you asked to pay rent to live,
inside of this head
Every month would be free
I would ask nothing of you to give

For you would live amongst riddles,
and secret coded messages
I have been trying to decode like latitude
and longitudinal grids

Nothing; if not now or ever
Would make the least bit of sense
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Dec 2013 · 883
The old and bitter truth
I have a lot of insecurities and self doubt
There are a lot of things that I don’t particularly love about myself

The way that I would second guess most of the decisions I made
The way that I used to prowl about,
and devour every man that made me feel like a ******* without pay
I often times sit and ponder about how insufferably
rich I could have been, if only I had been using my ****** head

These insecurities and self doubt,
They live in me like the blood that pumps through my veins

It’s not as though I've lost my pride
Or the emptiness I feel deep inside
It’s like a blade, without the sharp tip
plunging into my heart
And the tears swirl beautifully down the drain
disappearing, and turning into a drought
A river bled dry, of all it's renowned glory
and distasteful self perpetuating doubt

The fruits of my labor are not regrets that I wish to take back
Rather lessons that I've learned
While stumbling along the wrong side of the tracks
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Nov 2013 · 422
Save yourself
Most people fear death
But death is an unexpected friend
I fear not death
For it is time that I tremble,
upon every waking whim

Live for today
Not for tomorrow

The sand in the hourglass
Is slowly seeping into the gallows

Thinking you've wasted time,
Is a regrettable task

If you stumble up the realization,
that you've forgotten how to live

Stand on the edge of a steeply cliff
Hundreds of miles from the ground

Peer death in its face

You’ll realize death is nothing to fear
Rather, your fearful of all the time
your're wasting

Upon reflection
One will realize that time
Is not your friend

Measurable by science
But inconceivably immeasurable,
In the eyes of men

I once read a quote spoken by a famous man
It simply said “Lost time is never found again”
Sincerely yours, Benjamin Franklin

Don't waste it, forget the times
you once thought you were mistaken
Forget the sorrows of loved ones once lost

Remember their memory

Do something in your life
that will infinitely be treasured

© 2013 Christina Jackson
Nov 2013 · 472
Borrower
Countless miles away
my love has strayed

To the vastness of open roads, I've prayed.
Only to find you riding along

Singing all those lovely songs

Throw away my pride
wash it out to sea

The only love in the world I need,
is the love that you've so freely given to me

Now fearing tomorrow,
for our time here is only borrowed

It is not ours to keep

I'm oceans deep
and miles away

I need more time
I wish you could stay

Please don't go
I haven't said all the words
I need to say

Strength;
A lost unforeseen
magical wand
Hiding somewhere
Far and beyond

Time is a precious commodity
Not enough hours in the day
to keep these tears from floating away

I'm oceans deep
and miles away

You've wandered along a hidden path
covered in deep mossy
disappearing tracks

Please come back
won't you stay?

Insufferable time
Just give me one more day...

© 2013 Christina Jackson
Nov 2013 · 982
Hear me roar
"I live, each and everyday to the fullest, not fully knowing if the decisions I'm making, are wrong or right.
However, I live, because with each new day, brings a chance to turn those wrong decisions into redemptive rights.
Not all in life is as sweet and delicious as apple pie. There may be bitter batches at times. Though always remember, everyday upon waking, be infinitely grateful you've been granted a chance at new life.
Don't waste it, make your mark. Grace the world with your imaginative mind. Regardless if the world disagrees with what you've done so far.
Always remember and never forget, that it is your life. Live it in kindness, and always be mindful of your words. Have a voice, be confident, spread your wings and soar"
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Nov 2013 · 680
Justification of words
Some say poems don't have to rhyme
I think that's a complete
and utter lie

It's the ring and the chime
within the rhymes we create
that produce the sheer
and lovely little lines

An expression of our existence
Lies within the deep mesh
of our flesh and resistance;
Towards persistence and
perfection

The rhyme within our poems
Scream with complicated
convictions

The ones of which we write,
shouldn't hide behind the
facades of any restrictions

We are the words we create
They needn't be burdened by
limitations

© 2013 Christina Jackson
Nov 2013 · 933
Unconditionally
Sometimes;
You are like a cave to me

Dark; mysterious
Often times dreary

But I love you all the same
that'll never change

I promise
That'll never change

Cause I love you all the same...

© 2013 Christina Jackson
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