It's early morning
I'm sitting here
My pen in hand
Eager to get something on this page
But the words won't come
And it's no fun
Without you here with me

I'm awfully mediocre, darling
I have nothing original to offer
All I can do is hold this pen
And hope that words will come

Or maybe I can search for words or quotes
And tangle them together
In hopes of making some sort of art
To explain how I am feeling

Because I'm awfully mediocre
And I have nothing original to offer
I so desperately want to write to you
And tell you how I'm feeling
But my tongue is tied
My brain is in knots
And I'm growing rather weary

Yes, I can take words from others
And send them to you
But none of them can ever compare
To the loneliness I feel
And the sorrow I bare
Living my life without you

I breathe in warmth
and the scent of cigarette smoke
and the promise of summer
Today only brings
new-turned spring dirt
and blood in my mouth
as I bite down on my tongue
The sun warms my back
and you warm my pulse
with your gorgeous mouth
as I find constellations on
the freckles in your face

you thrill me
I hate you
kiss me
Go away
love me
leave me
kiss me again

My indecision must make you crazy

with all his strength and power he calls to me,
as enticing as ever.
his skinny frame taunting me,
filling my head with thoughts
magical and dangerous.
I reach out to grab him-pull him closer-
but my fingers pass through like a ghost.
and even though I know
we can never be together
I allow myself to dream of
the promises he makes,
the ever-unknown world he lives in.

In my delusion
Words will bind
From pen to paper
Raw with insecurity
The truth is here
Resting in my bones
And breathing through
My every pore
My tongue has no chain
And will dance the steps
Of the songs in my mind
Like my body
These words move
They flow and pour
A waterfall in a garden
Hidden in my thoughts
Revealed in naked disposition  
The dance of my insanity
Put before my eyes
My human tendency
I'm awakened
By my own dream
I can see through the paint
I feel it all now
As hot as the sun
I've burnt the lies
And now I'm ash
Blown into the world
Not an ant
Just the kiss in the wind

It used to be
That I refused sleep
So I could lie awake and look at you
While you drifted
In peaceful reverie.

These days
I beg to dream
So that maybe I can find you
Behind these eyes
That you love so much
As they close in blissful slumber.