I cannot fathom my life without you.
You are the stars in my night sky and the rays of sun seeping in through my bedroom window.
You are the sun and I am the Earth as I am constantly orbiting around you just to feel your warmth
Your laugh paints a beautiful sunset of  pink, orange and yellow.
And when I think back on our chilly fall nights, I laugh, because you were too stubborn to wear my jacket.
And when I hear my words replaying in my mind again and again like a broken record, I cry, as I hear myself say:
I have to let you go
I have to let you go

2:35am. You say,
“Lets go for a drive
through the galaxy.”
Your car turns into a spacecraft
as we fly through the blackness.
You take me on a journey among the stars.
The streetlamps and stoplights
become colorful particles of our galaxy,
and the cars around us
transform into the UFO’s
we can only read about.
You show me the best-kept secrets
that our vast ocean in the sky holds,
from the eyes in envy.
Your kiss
sends me into the mysteries of black holes
and the awe of a supernova.
3:12am I whisper,
“Can we sleep upon the radiance of the moon?”
and you respond,
“Yes, and tomorrow after breakfast
I will take you to swim in the turquoise blue of the sea.”
You take me everywhere
and back again with the simplest of actions.
You do this to me…

I want to be
comfortable
In my home
in my work
in my relationships

I want to
crave
indulge
share
and be sated

I want
passion
joy
and abundance
surrounding me

I want a life
worthy saving
worth sharing
worth passing down
to others

My bare feet touch every dampened board
as I walk along the sand-dusted pier.
Seagulls cry softly in the background
as salt coats my skin.

A shadow dashes by muttering
angrily. I follow and his pace quickens
faster and faster until we are running.

The waves grow taller the further we run
until we reach the pier’s end.
The man stops and turns toward me.  He grips the railing.
His mouth opens to speak, but the swell breaks.

I find myself back on the beach watching
the waves drift in and out, eating away
at the land. Yet nothing changes.

the moon hangs over my head
illuminating all of the black clouds
that are forever looming above me

and I wish that for one night
I could sleep easy
without the nightmares of you

laying down my fragile bones
and wrapping my mind in daisy chains
I hope that maybe this will purify my mind

and so I whispered upon the brightest stars
that I could forget you forever and always
and with that I bid the moon goodnight, hoping to sleep easy

I do not remember where we were.
I can not fathom why you said it.
I do not recall if I was crying.

But I do know that you were drunk.
And I know that these words shaped my life.
From the moments they left your lips
To this moment and beyond.

"Son, complaining only makes you look like a *****"

I never complain even when I can barely stand.
My tongue remains stilled.

Weakness is not something a man possesses.
The world has enough boys.

I did not die.
I am in the wind.
Breathe me in,
fill your lungs.
Release me to the sky.

I did not die.
I am here.
Feel my touch.
It is for you.
Give me a try.

I did not die.
For I was never alive.