I hear this song and I think of you
How did everything go so rotten, so fast
Me.
It was me.
I can't think of anything poetic to say.
So I'll just say I'm sorry for being a bother.

i wait
nothing
i wait some more
nothing
absolutely nothing

why is my heart so full over vacancy?

i see your eyes, your lips, your teeth, and dimples.
you used to recognize the same in me.

where did you go?
when did you stop caring?
at what time did you start to see me in transparency?

blaming me for your strife, yet you're the one to throw toxic eyes

i'm starting to think this is all becoming a lesson i'm going to later look back on and go "Huh. I really grew from that misery."

i never wanted to equate you to agony but you've given me very little to grab on to without feeling like a guilty, "helpless" girl who "needs to be taken care of."

fog
i inch near you
pale skin covered in goosebumps
and i'm shaking

almost 6 cycles of the moon
and you still make my knees quake

who are you?
release your fears

sometimes i feel like a serpent
charming your eyes with my curves
moving so slowly
until i strike

sometimes i'm frightened
like a lost fox cub in the forest
wandering around in agony
searching for my leader

but i'm told
i'm too old
to be relying on childish fantasies

sometimes it feels like it's not getting cold fast enough
other times i'm terrified of being shut in away from frigid air
god
i hope this year is different
with less days spent entirely in bed
forcing myself to sleep on mascara stained pillows
oh
how belittling it was
wasting away on a beer stained matress
i'm completely transparent to my house mate
you tried not to look at me because he knows it will make him crumble
where did the time ago?
it feels like i've been stuck on a swing set for 365 days without stopping

I felt you in my bones
Strolling home
An instant of nostalgia and euphoria
I saw the Galaxy in your spine
The seasons are changing
Your cold gaze feels like autumn wind
Golden warmth of limbs draping
Smoke and tahini
We've lost ourselves
It's a good thing.

I like to think about you ironically now
how you wish your name would be whispered on a humid summer night
Your vocabulary no longer exists on my tongue
You've become so foreign that you feel like an out-dated movie