More and more
I constantly want to be a ******* blind and blissful, ignorant, idiot.

No longer aware of every little prickling emotion that is
right underneath my skin.

I want to be numb and have my soul fall asleep
like my limbs
instead of the steady intensifying pain
of it gradually waking up instead.

Just need a way to cut off it's circulation.

Loneliness is a flesh eating parasite.
I watch my skin get eaten away and see my bones uncovered from underneath like roots
Peeking through dirt.

Hang my skeleton up on a wall
Surrounded by growing flowers for display
Since the me I am now
Isn't beautiful enough to be given the time of day.

I've dug so deep into the mines of my soul
That I can't find an escape.
There was once a magic and wonder,
But now
I can't get out of this cave.

I no longer want to mine
Looking for answers made of gold.

I just want it to stop caving in.
Stop feeling so alone.

Tink, Tink, Tink.
Here I go again.
Is it worth continuing down
To the Earth's core?

I'm going to burn or suffocate
Possessed to look for more.

Tink, Tink, Tink.
It's so hot and it burns here in my chest
But here I am again.

Fracking every little piece until the substance
is found.

The most valuable minerals of my soul.

Almost wanting to be calloused over
Except not with skin.
Cage me in.

Trap the rawness that I have.
Gloss over all that is inside.

I will peel it off
In time, but
For now,
Cage me in.