I'm confused about this life
all the people that i meet
is everything here predestined?
what i'll wear, who ill greet
if all of this is just a design
in a giant masterpiece
if everything gets ironed out in its time
I'm a wrinkle, I'm a crease

"you don’t express emotion very well do you?" he asked

I limply smiled while silently shaking my head.

"It’s easier. Less to worry about when it’s all in your head."

He didn’t quite understand, but he knew to hug her; and that’s exactly what he did.

I have felt pain.
Therefore I can assume to know everything about anyone's situations.
I am alone.
I don't recognize cliches.

A good poem is a statement that no one had heard but everyone has felt. Not the other way around.

[because not everyone understands what i mean,
though it's obvious to me]

when i say
"you are beautiful"
the meaning
depends on the
[context]
if you know
(and everyone around you knows)
you are a striking
shining
beautiful woman
then i mean,
"you are beautiful."

if you are a person
that has just
spilled their guts
their art
done some
amazingly selfless
act
then i mean
"you are *beautiful."

however,
if i'm speaking
to you*,
and i say
"you are beautiful"
i am saying it
in a
g a l a c t i c
                      |cosmic|
(cellular)
e l e c t r o n - like way

i am saying
that thoughtful look
that comes across
your face
lives in
my heart

i mean
that when i see
your body
i
temp
orar
ily
lose
my
breath…
and my first instinct
is to pour
glitter gold glory
over
you
which would
bring me to tears

when i say
(those words)
i mean that
your neurons are firing
in perfect time
that every decision
you make and
emotion you
reveal
is
right

for you alone
- these words -
s t r e t c h and
enfold
and include
trust and love and
judgement
without these
[there is nothing solid]

i don't call you
an     a i r y    beauty
or a flameless cute or
a lone handsome
your brain connections have
shown themselves to
be level
calm

you are beautiful
because i said i
wanted to give you
something
    and you said
       you already had everything
  and i knew in that moment
             that you meant those words

you are beautiful
because your voice
was made for me alone
to hear my name being said…
   so that it sounds like a drum

you are beautiful
in the blue
        of your eyes
   and the little part of
      your ears
the corners of your mouth
   the softness of
your hair
the hardness of
              your thighs
   the strength in
    your arms
the sureness
          in your chest

my beautiful one
i only want you to know
    that since i found a
beautiful
      cosmic
   ethereal man
like you
  i want you for myself
      i want to show you the way

if others have failed
   to see you for who
you are
     then they are
vile creatures, indeed

when i say
you are beautiful
   i mean i see the creator
                  in you
       the spinner of reality
   who deftly grabs his
warped or broken world
         and shapes it anew
without leaking dark bitterness
onto others
      while plucking strings
   and summoning images
            from the wild vastness
of imagination

you have caught my
eye     my
      ear      my
            body
wild one

in your presence
i listen and i connect
       i watch and i remember
              i feel every touch to the core

in the stillness
these words bombard me

because i could never
say this to your face -
   i would sound
    like a silly
          over-emotional
                   unstable
girl.

so instead i lamely say,

"i really like you."
"you are beautiful."

but believe me,

i am no girl.
i am not silly.
i am not over-emotional.
i am not unstable.
i am simply a poet.

i see, i feel, and the words come.
these words are true and rather
   un-emotional at times
        more like scientific facts
being fed from the environment
     and filtered through my senses
             my brain
                     my chemicals
and spit out in
data called poetry.

here is the data regarding your beauty.
interpret it as you will.

there was
  a time in my life
when i didn't know
that
gin
existed.

at some point
   someone put a
gin and tonic
  in my hand,
and i said with delight,
"this is so refreshing!"

i bought the
cheapest gin
i could find
until i heard
snoop rapping
about tanqueray
and i thought to myself,
"what the hell is tanqueray?"

come to find out,
it is a delicious
gin, in a classy green
bottle with a red stamp.

how lovely!
things were just getting better!
i love limes, and
in no time,
a lime version of tanqueray,
"rangpur" arrived,
and i discovered
DIET LIME TONIC

life seriously couldn't get any better.
let's look at the mathematical equation, shall we?

gin=refreshing=limes=tanqueray=snoop=all around good times

marvelous. let's fast forward a decade.

gin=tanqueray=tears.

i honestly wish
life was not this
way and i
could go back
to the way
gin used to be.

and here is the
point i'm
trying to get to -

i'm so blah ...
   so u n i n t e r e s t e d
so unfocused
     that the thought
of going into a store
  to get tonic was
too much for me to bear.
seriously.

so.
i'm drinking gin. with ice. and a little straw.
i have limes in my fridge,
and lime juice.
i looked at both of these items,
and could not summon
the strength
to move either
from the fridge to
the counter,
let alone my drink.

the next step on the road
to the river styx
is gin with no ice and a straw.
then just gin in a glass.
then just gin straight out of the ******* bottle.
then i would just eat the beautiful tanqueray glass bottle.
that seems to be the jist of things around
this place (by "this place" i mean earth) in general.
it's entropy. pick one of the definitions -
i'm pretty sure that poetically any of them apply.
personally, i think
heat death
sounds the best.

I would really like being a guardian angel.
To do nice things for the humans in my charge
But they just account it to being a “miracle"
And I wouldn’t have to feel time move over me
Like worms dragging across my skin
But bask in the light of God
If only I believed in God
And forever being enraptured with mankind
Unknowing of age and sorrow
But puzzle in the ways they fit on the wrinkled face
Of an old man sitting alone at a table
While I be above him, stroking his hair

I placed an ad
outside my office
offering a job in my small company:
The applicant
must be computer literate
and possess secretarial skills
and must be bilingual
(and proudly, I added)
WE ARE AN
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

and this dog came in
and indicated with barks and snout
he wanted the job;
and proved with paws and limbs
and tongue and tail, and with various barks
he had all the skills

Astounded, I put up all sorts of barriers
but the dog could not be stopped by any one
And so I finally said:
“You have demonstrated your skills, sure;
you have barked – but you don’t seem
to know any other popular language…
I can’t offer you the job  -
I need someone bilingual!”

And the dog replied: *“Meow!”

My darling baby girl,
If i say that life is like a rainbow,then i would be lying to you.
Because sweetheart it isn't, life is more like rain........
sometimes its heavy, sometimes a drizzle, sometimes a storm and sometimes a dry spell.
Life is something you make rainbows in with your sunshine.....
Because like the seasons, people come and go and bad things happen to good people.
That is no reason to be unhappy!
You are too young to take on the troubles of the world and too young to be too sad.
Life can give you its worst and best on the same day, it can take you places you haven't dreamed of.
Give life a chance, let it take you on this wondrous journey.......
Love yourself my sweet and take your freedom, fly away like a bird.
Laugh sweet girl because your laugh, its the best sound i have ever heard.
I love you beyond the capacity of my heart and it pains me to see you this way,
You have a long and lovely life, begin it with some music and sway.
Dance in the rain baby because this time will never come again.
There is plenty of time to be sad in life but less time to make happiness remain

New day new **** the struggle continues
Fighting for change hoping to be understood
I've been good doing all I should
Not trying to rep anyone but myself
Taking pride in what I do feeling alive
Writng gets out my frustrations
Helps clear the madness make sense of confusion