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 Dec 2014 lotus lord
Hannah Jade
Sometimes I want to find the tallest building in the world, close my eyes and fall from its rooftop.
Sometimes I want to scream until my vocal cords weaken to the point of tearing, then continue to cry out in silence.
Sometimes I want to bury my face in my pillow and sleep for the rest of my life, with only dreams to protect me.
Sometimes I want to suffocate on green smoke and let my mind drift away until the reality of myself fades.
Sometimes I want to slice so deeply into my skin that the red trickle never ceases its flow.
Sometimes I want to never speak again.

Sometimes I feel as if the whole world around me is beautiful, and I bask in its glory.
Sometimes I wish the sky would fall down on me, and crush everyone else too, so undeserving of life.
Sometimes I want to fly away from everyone and never look back.
Sometimes I want to yell at my creator and ask him why I get to be instead of the others. Why would he hurt my mother?
Sometimes I want someone to wrap their arms around me until I stop fighting, until I stop blaming the world for every mistake I have made.
Sometimes, I wish you would just shut up, and listen...
I'd be okay then.
*If you or anyone you know ever needs anyone to talk to, I'm here...
I love you.
 Dec 2014 lotus lord
DC raw love
it’s not right
as someone drifts
into the fiery night

with blood on our hands
from their veins within
as the rush in their head
leaves them dead

as they fall victim
to the only beast they know
named, a narcotic charm

beautiful people
with beautiful ways

touching souls
giving us meaning
through their music

don’t look down on them  
as they all loved you

you made their life
from a dream they had

they were lonely souls
not understood
not ever to their self

they were looking for help
but no one understood their music

screaming out loud
telling their stories

how their life has become
hoping for help

why, why, why
do we have to lose
a life of talent this way
Note: look for my first poem
“forgotten but appreciated”
this is my 2nd tribute to them, “lost talent”
 Dec 2014 lotus lord
The Jolteon
I can see the moon hiding
In between the clouds
As the music plays
Glowing orange
It disappears
Only to shine through
My first kiss was like magic.
His lips were so soft, they made me  crave him more.
So I started to pull, and he stopped in mid kiss lips still together
and said in a teasing voice "uh-uh, no pulling" Then we continued.

I pulled away before I got lost in a world I didn't want to leave.
But little does he know when I pulled away, and wrapped my arms around him, I had tears in my eyes.

Not because I was sad, but all because I was in pure Ecstasy.
I wish I could stay with him and lay by his side but this world is cruel and dark, which makes me happy that I have him in my life to be my light.
I had been keeping a safe emotional distance from her
Since she found out about the cutting, the eating disorders
and all the rest of the lies
I never really could talk to my mother
Especially since she doesn't deal
With shattered souls
Very gently
She yells when she doesn't know how to cope
And it just makes it worse
Because feelings are not logical
And she is more of a logic person
But she was in my room
Talking to me about our plans for tomorrow
Who was picking who up where and when etc.
And I had a song playing in the background
I listened too hard to the lyrics
Memories flashed back
And I burst into tears
At first she did the whole typical of her:
Grow up, get over it, stop being overdramatic and attention seeking thing
but when she saw my eyes
filled with tears
her baby daughter's eyes
in so much pain
she started crying too
and I recoiled at her embrace
I didn't want her comfort
She was never there for me
When I really needed her to be
And I am fairly unforgiving
About things like that
But I had been so alone
For so long
That year, I had spent full days
In black clothes
And total silence
Not speaking to anyone ever at all
because everyone hated me
No one wanted to be friends
With the girl who keeps getting called
To the councillor's office
And as this song brought me to tears
I couldn't take being alone anymore
So I let my mother hold me
She whisper through choked sobs: are you really still that sad about everything that happened?
And I answered in a hollow voice:
Mom. You have no idea...how broken I have been.
And she never did.
Loneliness
Is a scarring
type of agony
my year of complete and utter depression
 Dec 2014 lotus lord
Creep
Flu
 Dec 2014 lotus lord
Creep
Flu
You're like the flu,
everyone wants you,
maybe just to skip school or work,
but really,
your gonna make us regret having you.
We'll try to get rid of you,
but you'll just threaten us,
tighten your grip.
Everyone knows who you are,
you don't care
about anyone,
you strut in here like you own the place.
You'll take control, seize our minds,
as we'll struggle under your grasp.
And when you finally go,
you'll always leave behind a trail...
(i'll) attack
by thirty seconds to mars
<3 love this song omfg
*impromptu dance party*
 Dec 2014 lotus lord
Sweetheart
two teens
two heartbroken, empty teens
******* like rabbits
because that's the only good feeling in their lives.
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