I am gasping for air.
My eyes see nothing but blues, greens, and blacks.
My arms tangle with waves and my legs are pumping, treading water.
This ravenous sea has taken me captive and isn't letting go
It pulls me under and I silently scream.
I cannot let this win me over.
I propels legs and will my body to go above the waves.
I am gasping for air as my head breaks the waves.
I see my savior, a ships light.
I scream and wave my arms as best I could with the waves still fighting to keep their captive.
A search lights starts swaying; they've heard me!
I am gasping for air,
Sitting huddled in a blanket aboard the ship.
I am saved.

Is this truly what pain feels like?
I don't need a razor,
You are the blade against my skin.
I don't need a savior,
I'm too far in this hell hole that I created,
I don't need advice,
I know what I'm doing, most of the time.
I don't need this pain,
You're my pain.
I never asked for this.
Is this what true pain feels like?
An already broken heart,
Being shattered again?
And again?
A world that I've worked so hard to bulid around me?
Coming down in pieces?
My walls, in parts and torn,
Being crumbled to dust?
Is this what pain is??

I haven't written anything it seems in  years,
No thoughts or ideas have popped into my mind.
I have a blank slate of a brain....

I'm afraid I'm gonna have a panic attack,
Or a mental break down and start crying....

I'm singing on Sunday,
I'm a nervous wreck.
It's bad....