I am afraid of losing the people I love.  I am afraid of losing control-
         what little I have.  
I am afraid of not having approval.
I am afraid of not being able to control
         my emotions.
I am afraid of him.
I am afraid of not being able to sing
          anymore.
I am afraid of not being able to
          play horn anymore.
I am afraid of losing trust.
I am afraid of not being known.
I am afraid of not being remembered.

I am afraid.
I am human.

*Fear is what drives me

I'm tired of looking back.
At all my yesterdays
All 15 years worth..

I'm tired of saying why can't I do that?
Why can't I step up? What's holding me back?
Why do I look for yesterday?

I'm tired of wanting change
Instead of chasing after it
Going for what I want

I'm tired of looking at the door
Waing for you to
Pop back into my life

So
Guess
What?

I'm looking forward for today.
No more yesterdays.
No more past, even though I'll always have it- I'm learning from it, not waiting for it.

Today.

I'm sorry.

I don't like feeling like this.

I'm sorry.

You go searching
High and low
Only to find
You haven't left

Is
It really
Possible
To find
The ONE
Your
Soulmate....?

Where were you when I needed you?
I don't know...

I want to fall I love
I want to love  someone's quirkiness
For someone to love mine
I want to be able to hug him all the time
Him to hug me- and never let go
I want to adore his smile
And him mine
To have him give me that look
that melts my insides
I want to melt his,with my gaze

I want a fairytale.
I long for a happy ending

*Can someone give that to me?