I couldn't accomplish what you wanted from me;
I was your disappointment
and you made it obvious
we were unhealthy.
We crossed paths in our relationship
that train-wrecked any hopes of happiness.
My life was a nightmare
whenever I was with you.

I felt controlled and abused
and you played with my heart,
but I always wondered
why I couldn't try.
Why was I so naïve and dumb
to not understand that you didn’t even love me?

I wasn't expecting any of this
I didn't plan to end up here
with you
We met in the new usual way
I never thought we'd come to this
I hoped and wished and even quietly prayed
that someday I could feel this way
It's been so long
since I could even think the words I long to say
But I'm Almost There

You just don't know what you do
all those time I just can't stop staring at you
Do you even notice that you take my breath away
While you keep my feet on the ground
I'm floating in mid air
Standing still; I'm dancing for joy
Tride and true I'm following you
You and I--
I can't even define
It's something powerful--
something divine
I'm Almost There

I play a part, scene by scene
day by day
You tear my mask from my face
The girl you see is full of grace
She has always been there under the surface
my walls come crashing down with your soft, feathery touch
Lying in your arms--
It's almost too much

I sing the same songs over and over again
It all becomes new
when you ask me to sing
Just for you

I feel it coming
Where we could go
What we could do
It all leads back to me and you
I'm Almost There

Waiting for you to show me the way to being yours
I want to know beyond all words
that it's more than true
I'm Almost There
I'm not afraid anymore
If you tell me I will not wait one minute more
I'm Almost There

Where are you?
Are you here with me?
Waiting for the moment to say what you feel
What you think beyond all question and all doubt
We are simply beautiful together
And together beautifully simple
It's that what it's all about?
I'm Almost There
I close my eyes--
The time is due
**I love you

If I could put to words
what this year was,
I would say--
****.

**** this ******* year.

Thirteen years into
the second millenium,
was as unlucky as the number
said it would be.

This year was about
being on my own,
being sad,
being alone.

Yet I found,
poetry, and that death
could never be the answer
to questions I'd rather not ask.

I found friends
in people halfway
across the whole
world.

Love from the people
of my kind--
poets--
who loved and despaired.

This year was not
the one I would remember;
because new beginnings
are often disguised
as painful endings.

So here is to
my new beginning.

i swallowed the sun and
washed it down with a little inky night.
now wildflowers bloom in my heart
and light fills my mind. these
words are solar flares of a
fallen petal.

the price of it all--
welded lips of unspoken words.
now other people mishear
and believe i am speaking,
but it is only the wind
whistling through
my teeth.

now i find that,
being alone is silence,
but it is never quiet.