Brianna

Brianna Oct 2013

I'm finding it hard to connect the colors in my head to the correct emotions I am feeling lately.
I wanted the Blues to represent the blue skies and the Yellows to be the sunshine I saw in your eyes.
But the Blues make me sad and the Yellow makes it to bright to stare at you straight on.
I wanted the Reds to symbolize the energy of our love and the Orange to represent the caution I put up when you're around.
But the Reds make me sick and the Oranges keep me confused.
I keep hiding behind the Blacks and the Whites every time I see the shadows of Grey's come near me... and it's so hard to love you when all I see if Dark Blue and Purple forming on my body.

Brianna Oct 2013

My Sister

There was something so delicate in the way she told me she was scared; it was almost hypnotic.
She was a liar.
It was beautiful the way she held her head high and took the punishment she knew she would get; it was terrifying.
She was a fighter.
The day she took that fist and punched that girl was the day I knew I had lost her; She wasn't innocent anymore.
She was trouble.
We were never close ya know? We never said 'I love you' or 'Have a great day' no... we were just there.
She was gone.
But today I felt bad... I wanted to tell her it would be okay and that she could get out of this rut if she wanted to... but I knew that wasn't happening.
She was changing.
She would turn into our mother soon.. a lowlife nothing.
There was something painful watching her grow up..
Because as much as I wanted to hate her for who she became...
*She was my sister.

I wish things were different for you... you don't have to be her.

Brianna Oct 2013

In My Mind.

I put you on the highest of pedestal's... you're up there with the Greek and Roman gods.
You're the sunshine to my fields of flowers that aren't quite blooming with beauty yet.
You're the waves crashing around my boat threatening to take me under but never really drowning me.
I put you up there next to the Sea and the Sun because they are the highest powers in my mind.
The Sea was calm on the surface, sure at times it can be fierce, but under it was full of energy and life that went unseen.
The Sun was so hot, always one fire you could say, burning with such intensity it was hard to stare at it straight on.
I like to think you put me up there with the birds and the bees... but we all know you didn't.
I was nothing but the Moon and the Stars to you.
The Moon with such mystery only showing her beauty at night when true emotions could go unseen.
The Stars... always so far away never knowing if they are truly alive or dead.
You made me seem Common; I made you a God.

Brianna Oct 2013

Simple Scars

There is so much beauty hidden beneath a simple scar.
They hold the mystery or the adventure or the tragedies that make us individuals.
The jagged lines or the straight through cuts or the gnashes on our wrists make us survivors.
There is so much life hidden beneath the faults on our bodies and we hide them to make us feel like we never did the things we did... but why?

Brianna Oct 2013

At the Expense of my Liver

Watching shadows dance across the room I want to tell you I'm angry with you but for some reason my mouth is silenced for once. The past comes and goes in flashes that tell me there was always something wrong from the start... and my hands wont stop shaking. You let the rain wash our love away and you let the snow freeze the love in your heart. You let the summer disappear with the changing of the seasons and I have never understood completely why it was called Fall until you came around and left me on the ground. Intoxicated by the alcohol that's thinning my blood and killing my liver I drowned you in expensive liquor. I let the trees change and the snow fall because what was I supposed to do.. beg you to come back?

I was never that type of girl.

Brianna Sep 2013

Lost at Sea (10W)

Blue waves crash around us; you left me floating alone.

I wanted to try this 10W thing...In dire need of something new.

Brianna Sep 2013

First Date

I like the rush of a first date.
The hyperventilating before you decide there is no way you can eat because **** if you puke before you get a kiss from this guy.
The running around like a chicken without a head trying to find that cute dress you know you bought last week ******!
The failure of getting your makeup just right instead getting it all over your **** face and hands and sink and clothes... then having to change again.
The waiting by the door or on the couch in your room unable to think of anything to talk about and wondering what time in the night you'll make an *** of yourself.
Or the moment he knocks on the door and you take one last breath before answering and having the most ridiculous grin on your face just to see he has the same stupid smile and sweat on his forehead knowing he probably went through the same **** you did.