My futon mattress is still on the floor, folded
once over with a crumpled blanket on top.
I’d laid it out for us to fall into and fumble
over each other, drunk and half-naked.

We laughed and breathed deeply,
you on top of me, me on top of you.
We bumped our heads and joked
that only we could make *** a comedy.

Led Zeppelin came through the speakers
as we tumbled into each other the next morning.
Your eyes met mine as I watched you move,
we joked we've probably seen too many ******.

I haven’t planned to put away the mattress
or even fold the plush, brown blanket.
I'd like it to seem as if you’re still here
and that we didn't just **** for nothing.

seagull over, above
reflects back
Led Zeppelin
to me
in folded angles

© Copyright David Bosworth April 2013

Led Zeppelin, so dense,
Stones, neither great nor so bad,
Beatles, gracefully best.

Today I awoke with Led Zeppelin in my head
rattling around my head
what made me think of that
was it something somebody said
for I have not heard that track for years
but in my brain i hear like ears
maybe if I play it it will go away
or will it stay with me all day!

My father taught me five:
He taught me
1. That it is okay to be late to dinner or not show up at all as long as you have a good reason.
taught me
2. That everyone makes mistakes and either you live with them or you runaway from them leaving only a voicemail and a forwarding address.
taught me
3. That you'll never have to be disappointed by others if your the disappointment and if you leave before the introductions.
taught me
4. That names are fickle, and there is never any point of telling someone yours if you have no plans to remember theirs.
taught me
5. That you have to give a little to get a little but that sometimes you give a little and get a lot of something you don't want.

My mother taught me five:
She taught me
5. That somedays you'll wake up and want to die because life is hard and no one will be on your side if you're against yourself.
taught me
4.  That it is hard to forgive and forget and it is even harder when you're 19 and all you're left with is a swelling abdomen, a voicemail and a forwarding address.
taught me
3. That good deeds don't make the person, that sacrifices make the person, that waking up alone at 4am to a crying baby makes the person.
taught me
2. That it's healthy to cry, but it's not healthy to cry yourself to sleep at night and cry yourself into productivity in the morning.
taught me
1. That it is okay to be late to dinner or not show up at all as long as you have a good reason.

My heart has loved so many.
Ever-changing and ever lasting.
Going farther than I could ever believe.
And yet, I still get hurt and no amount of bandages,
nor thread can hold all of my pieces together.
I'm hoping that you know I still think of you and
my heart aches because I shattered yours:
something so elegant and valuable- broken.
only now do I realize that I've been wrong
right now I find that you didn't need me at all
right now I find that I needed you. More than anything. I'm
yearning for you to share some words with me again, but I know it wont happen
and rightfully so. I said I wasn't good enough, and I believed it, now more than ever. And still, I
neglected that you were telling me otherwise. That you still wanted me around.
Distance was my problem. How I longed to turn our tangled words into reality.
I still can't step onto my porch without having my mind flood full of regret.
maybe I'll stop with all of this nonsense of 'what ifs' and 'have beens' but for now it seems
impossible. I know I
still haven't met a soul as beautiful as yours or
someone who could make me feel so full with only their words.
You were that only person.
Only you could have done that. And when I drifted out of fear that you too would drift and leave me
under the sea to drown in the misery of a broken heart, you promised you
wouldn't.
I'm complicated. I'm afraid of heartbreak. I break hearts to save mine. Before anybody else can.
The pain of loneliness is truly unbearable. I know and feel how I'm going to be this way forever. If
Hell is a place on earth, I must be living it, spending
all day going over the words you had so tenderly given. So wrongfully given. I remember when
love existed between us. How palpable and real it was. How I could
list all the ways you touched my heart. The only person who meant it. The only person who ever did.
My god how I miss you.
Your title, body, notes, and
soul.
Only I could be such an idiot.
Understand, I'm so complicated. I'm so sorry. I know you're not coming back, but I never got to say, "I
love you."