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 Jul 2016 brenda
kaycog
Lots of drama now.
Thank goodness it's not with you
It's always simple
 May 2014 brenda
aviisevil
Woke up to the sunrise, my heart still craves the night
Drowning in an ocean of misery, escaping the bright lights
The demon inside has won, I've given up any hope to fight
If I'm going down this path, i might just enjoy the ride

In this silence, over-grown sense of hatred consumes my soul
I wait for the end, trying to figure out a way to end it all
I could never figure out, what does it takes to make you whole
And maybe i was just holding back, i was always destined to fall

__________

"hey, mom do you have to go to work today?"
-sorry sweetie, i have to rush and i guess I'll be late
"seriously, i thought we'll spend some time together, we talked about it yesterday"
-i know, but it's important, maybe next Sunday?
"it's alright, nevermind anyway"
-you know how much i love you, don't you ?
"yes, i know mom, be back soon, I have a surprise for you today"
-I'll be back as soon as i can, ok sweetie?
"alright, I'll wait for you like always"

*door closes


_________

Alone with my thoughts, emotions explodes in silence
Mind in chaos, every approaching moment is violent
Angst and despair spreads neatly all across the floor
Eyes are closed and i think i can't take it anymore

It's not so easy to die, every moment I'm hoping for a miracle
Someone or something to pull me back from my doom
But i guess, world has ignored my pleas again
And i can't let go of these morbid thoughts approaching like winters gloom


_________

"hey, Todd do you have a second, i just need to talk"
-yeah, mate what is it ?
"i don't feel good, can you come over or not ?"
-man, I'm with this *******, we're out on a walk
"oh, haha alright, have fun, catch you later"
- I'll tell you all about it. god, this chick is so hot!
"haha alright, catch you later"

you can talk to my Corpse

_____________________________

Can they really not hear the fear in your voice ?
You try so hard to get out, but they leave you no choice
Maybe when they find you're gone, they'll make some noise
Will they feel responsible, for they couldn't keep you from being destroyed

I walk away from these walls of my so called home
I think it's better if i go away and do this alone
Friends, family, they'll make an excuse that they didn't knew
He was such a good kid, just a little bit confused


_____________________________


-young man, what are you doing alone in this park?
"none of your business, leave me alone"
-you shouldn't wander alone in these lonely parts
"i don't need you to tell me what to do, it's not even after dark"
- are you searching for someone, there's no one out far
"no, i just want to be alone, if it's too much to ASK!"
- come here, have a seat, don't be afraid i won't hurt you
"hahah, do you really think I'm scared of you?"
-no, but i think you need someone to talk to
"no, I'm better off alone, sorry but i don't need you"
-wait, young fellow, just hear me out?
"does it matter, you have no clue what it's all about"
- no harm in letting it all out, for you and me are the same
"are we really, you don't seem to be in pain !"
- i was, a long time ago, just like you i was cold
"hmmm, stay away from strangers, that's what i was always told"
-I'm not a stranger, I'm just the older self of you
"wait, slow down old man, you're just making me confused"
-I'm here to tell you what you'll miss if you don't turn around
"what? How do you know i was about..."
- i know how you feel, like everything is going down
"hey, wait a minute......."
-but I'm here to tell you, one day you'll be found  
"but, it feels like that day will never come "
-just look at you, what you've become
"i can't stop it, it has already begun"
-there will be no escape,no matter how far you run
"..........."
-it will be better, i swear, one day you'll find that someone
" i don't think i ever will "
-you're too young, I'm old and i can tell you i did
"but we're not the same........"
-yes, we are
"hey, wait where're you going, what's your name?"
-if you decide to turn around, I'll meet you tomorrow here again
"what makes you so sure, my thoughts will change"
-i don't know for sure, but i would really like to meet you again..

walks back home


later in the night



"hey, what's up todd?"
-oh man, remember about that chick, the one hot?
"yeah, what's up with her"
-turns out she has even a hotter sister
"hmmmm"
-she wants to meet you, i showed her your picture
"what the hell?"
-yeah mate, she wants to meet you tomorrow at the cafe, about twelve
"woah, ah well...."
-just shut up, you thought i would just leave you behind
".........."
-we're friends mate, sorry i couldn't talk earlier, i was fixing your date at that time
"hmmm, it's alright"
-ok mate, good night
"night, night"



even later


"hey, mom look i made you some dinner"
- oh baby, what a sweet surprise
"mom, why do you have tear in your eyes?"
-it's nothing, i felt bad about going to work today
"don't worry mom, it's okay"
-no, it's not, so i took tomorrow off
"eh, why?"
-well, i planned something, just you and me, up for it or not?







__________

-so, young man you made it
"yeah, guess i did"
-there will be more like me down the road
"hmm, what your name, old man?
-well,my friends call me hope.
Notes (optional)
 May 2014 brenda
NV
plastic cups.
 May 2014 brenda
NV
And I sort of fell in love with plastic cups.
The ability to fall, and never break apart.
Because, as for me.
I'm just a glass positioned a little to close to the edge of the table.
 Dec 2013 brenda
Madisen Kuhn
I don’t have a problem with saying too little, you don’t have to carve inspiration into a health room desk or vandalize a bathroom stall to get me to tell him how I feel. I have a problem with acting as if it’s four a.m. all day long and forgetting that you don’t need to know about my every mood swing: my Sunday highs and Tuesdays lows and Thursday nothings. I think my biggest fault is bothering you to tell me all the thoughts that have yet to cross your mind (and maybe wishing they had.) I want you to want to know everything I feel at any given moment: what I thought of this evening’s sunset and how long it took me to fall asleep last night and why track two of my favorite album makes me feel like I’m in a dream. I want you to want me to know why you painted your bedroom walls yellow and how often you floss your teeth and which day of the week you feel happiest on. But most of all, I want to know everything you feel, even before you’ve felt it.
take me to your swing set
sit me down and kiss me right on my dry forehead
my bottom lip will hold on for a little too long
but you push me forward and I feel like an angel
about to take flight
but I'm gonna fall down
because I'm so **** clumsy

you're there to catch
my broken hands
and heart

a steady start
 Aug 2013 brenda
echo
.
I
should
go
to
bed

and
let
you
go
too
.
double meaning.
meh both ways.
good night.
 Aug 2013 brenda
Madisen Kuhn
A part of me lives miles and minutes and moments away
in an indefinite, dreamy place where clocks are not my enemy
and I associate the word “distance" with travel, not longing
My heart has sailed across the Atlantic,
moved eagerly through the Indian Ocean,
navigated using an atlas inked with butterflies
and stars that gleam ardently
(just as your rosemary eyes do,
every once in a blue moon,
when you’re able to sew together
the disarrayed thoughts
that dwell in your messy head)

You are so, so far away

However, if I avoid calendars and geography,
it feels like you’re right here beside me

In the afternoon, when the sun shines
through my bedroom window
and paints the world map on my wall with light,
I shut my eyelids and run my thumb along the string
that stretches across the parchment,
connecting me to you

I pretend that when I open my eyes,
you will be here
and that my aching fingers
that are so desperately
grasping the paper
will be intertwined
with yours
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