They say they are my friends,
I guess I work cheap,
I use a plastic bag to protect my seats,
They tell me I am boring,
They do things I never did,
They spend the night in jail cells,
For calling cops pigs,
“C’mon just one!”
“What could be the danger?”
Well…..I could **** someone,
Or wake up with a stranger,
Nah,
I’m good,
For that…..
I’ve no desire
Sure,
I’d love to go…..
As your designated driver
© B L Costello 2015

I would dare to begrudge you heaven
I prefer you here with me,
I would chain you down to keep you,
Forsaking the memory,
I will lie,
I will deny
Like a stone…..
I’ll represent,
But I will never speak of you in the past tense,
I will not surrender,
You to the black earth,
Trust me,
Your loss will cause a rebirth
All that you gave,
Will persist and inspire,
As long as there are words,
And birds on a wire
© B L Costello 2014

I dusted off your picture,
A task I had denied,
But it became embarrassing,
I could no longer hide,
I held it much too long,
My hand caressed the frame,
So long since I had held you,
Nothing is the same,
I stared for much too long,
Such common sense I lack,
Into your eyes I lingered,
Though you cannot look back,
Fighting back the tears,
I returned it to the stand,
Seeking more diversion,
I went to wash my hands,
And now,
I do not touch it,
Its cleanliness,
I’ll trust,
I really need to vacuum,
How I hate to dust
©B L Costello 2016

No cure,
No treatment
No change,
No effect,
No signs of life,
No answer…..
YET
©B L Costello 2016

Once I had a nightmare,
But it turned into a dream,
Wide awake,
I would  meditate that I could hear you scream,
Imagine how I suffered,
Exhaustion lasting weeks,
Guilt without sedation,
And tortured in my sleep
Finally,
You....said ‘Hello’
But it made me feel sad,
Imagining that pretty smile smothered
By a gag,
Eyes that see me clearly,
Then Clouding full of tears,
Afraid to beg for mercy
Your scream is all I hear
©B L Costello 2016

I did not bring you into the world,
But I was happy that you came,
I took you home one afternoon,
Took pictures…..and gave you a name,
And you where my baby,
Dayenu……that was enough,
And like all things God gives you,
Someday…You must give up,
How blessed I was to have you,
To love and watch to you grow,
I did not bring you into the world,
But, I was there to watch you go.
© B L Costello 2016

It’s still there
No change
No effect,
The most optimistic word was…
“Yet”.
Intensely
We listen,
The doctors so smart,
To find hope,
We tear each sentence apart
Clawing through facts,
Sorting out rumors,
God,
I hate that ******* tumor,
It takes all our time,
And we still need more,
There’s none to waste,
He is stage four.
©B L Costello 2016

Is tomorrow enough?
It has to be,
Today is almost gone you see,
Yet here I linger,
Alone at last,
My memories repeat the past,
The moon does rise,
Still I am inspire,
Embracing my muse,
Thou I am tired,
In the dark
I smoke,
I wait for the day
I will meet tomorrow….
Unafraid
©B L Costello 2016

They only had eyes for him
They smiled and laughed,
As he reached to feel the new air around him,
Tears flowed,
“Oh, he is beautiful”,
And he was……like a promise,
He filled them with hope,
Like a gift his bassinet was adorned with a blue satin bows,
They could not wait to embrace him

In another room,
Another time,
Another place,
He is horizontal,
His hands are folded together,
There is nothing to reach for,
Adoring family lean over him,
Tears and praise together again,
“They did a good job”,
“The flowers are beautiful”,
The dark mahogany frames him like a picture,
How they hate to let him go.
© B L Costello 2016

GRANDMA’S TATTOO
“You could cover that tattoo,”

She said….

”show some respect”.
“Do you think if I did….
the world would forget?”

“But your old”,
“And……it’s strange,”
“It looks like a price,”

Grandma smiled and said….

“Well I’ve paid all my life”,

I challenged her vanity,
And…she fought with her pride,
Never again,
Would she ever hide,
I am older now
I no longer wonder……
…..about that tattoo,
Or the cost of those numbers
© B L Costello 2016

You think that I am silly,
Just lyrics and some rhyme,
Your comment is judgmental,
Not constructive,
Not kind.
Still,
I choose to write,
A poet……
I am resigned,
A lover……
Not a fighter,
Someday……
I’ll change your mind
©B L Costello 2016

It takes such courage to believe what you know,
Courage can be a frightening blow,
So far….
I’ve been right,
I wish I could hide,
I would love to be wrong….
At least surprised
©B L Costello 2016

Sure you can “take it”,
I’m not to blame,
You stick that needle in your own vein.
People’s opinions mean nothing to you,
Yeah,
You can “handle it,
But that’s not what you do…..
Instead you blame others
You argue,
You’re “free”,
You only exist thru chemistry,
So now,
You can “take it”,
“Life is so beautiful”,
It is also brief,
I’ll cry at your funeral
©B L Costello 2016

Long before she was ever rejected,
She was planned….
At least expected,
Before children laughed,
Before the police….
She was loved,
She kept the peace,
I wonder if they see her now,
They who loved her…..and who taught her how,
To tie her shoe,
To washed her face,
Who left her in that awful place?
Somebody loved her…..
Before she went crazy,
Once…..
We were all….
Somebody’s baby
©B L Costello 2016

Thank you nurse,
But your sympathy stings,
Every time you say…….
“Poor THING”
The tumor is still there,
His future is uncertain,
But behind the curtain……is still a person.
©B L Costello 2016

A little dull,
Not too sharp….
Her bite is weaker,
Than her bark
Silenced if she knows nothing,
She smiles when she is right,
She loves recognition,
And a thunderstorm at night,
Most of all….
She wants a stamp
That says, “She is approved”,
For now she is silenced,
And…feels a little used
She listens because she still has hope,
Not because she’s a child,
She still believes in love,
So she always will smile.
©B L Costello 2016

Like ants on a peony bush,
His fingers so infesting,
Spilled the dew that once was trapped between the petals resting

He left her in that garden,
A child of the earth,
She was just another blossom,
Rooted in the dirt,

The weather changed so fast,
With no hope of escape,
She bowed her head and died,
She never knew a vase
© B L Costello 2015

I could have ran the circus,
But I guess I’m just a clown,

I may have loved the wire,
But the height kept me down,

Intrigued I swallowed fire,
It hurt and I was burned,

If I could have stood the smell,
I would have the pick the pachyderms!
©B L Costello 2015

Surprised,
Grateful,
And always amazed,
She praises Christ for another day,
Another day,
She prays for more……
Happy to see him stand at the door,
Smiling…..
Through tears that still have not dried,
Remembering all the times he died
Fearful still,
She still has trust,
The women that lives with Lazarus
© B L Costello 2016

Sometimes,
I can’t see clearly,
Things are not what I think,
I really cannot not help it…..
After all….
I have to blink,
Sometimes,
I’m overwhelmed,
It’s more than I can keep,
You know,
The plumbing's old,
There’s bound to be some leaks
Sometimes,
I’m irritated,
I remember what was said,
Sometimes I just drip,
It makes my eyes red,
I wish it didn’t happen,
I wish you weren’t so mean,
I wish I had a wrench,
Or an antihistamine
© B L Costello 2016

People you can’t remember from when,
Some you may never see again,
In a week you hear a knock at the door,
“They just stopped by…..”
You’ll wonder…“what for”?
In your car you wonder….
"Why did I go?"
"Most of those people…..I don’t even know",
And…**** it,
You came,
You saw,
And… were seen,
What the hell…
You brought baked beans!
Yet…..saying goodbye…..was sad,
And hard,
Maybe you’ll get more Christmas cards.
Without condition,
Always beautiful,
They'll see me the next wedding or funeral.
©B L Costello 2016

HIS SHIRT SAID………..
“*******, I’m from Detroit”,
Almost like it was his choice,
Angry,
As if it was to warn,
Who gave a **** where he was born?
The thing that left me so amazed,
He did not have the ***** to say……
Freedom of speech,
What is it worth?
Probably more than his stupid shirt
©B L Costello 2016

Before you became a diabetic,
Before the pain and the anesthetic,
We ate,
We smoked,
We slept past noon,
We played until we were out of tune,
We laughed at the cost,
“Go ahead…bill me,
I guess something has to **** me”,
And now…it is,
Imagine that,
But ****,
I miss being stupid and fat
© B L Costello 2016

I thought that he would be my last,
My promise,
I was sure,
Now…I may be his last,
If there is no cure,
Every second I want with him,
But I cannot decide,
Every moment away from him,
Tears me apart inside,
My needs do conflict,
There really is no win,
He has the tumor,
But I am sick for him
© B L Costello 2016

Unfamiliar
This sickening path,
No fork in the distance,
I hear someone laugh,
In the darkness,
I have to cast my own light,
In his weakened state…..
I watch him fight,
I hate it here,
Nothing is the same,
The only constant is his pain,
And so he fights,
He bravely stands,
Against these demons,
I hold his hand,
Plans are for fools,
There is no way of knowing,
When you’re going thru hell….
You have to keep going.
©B L Costello 2016

The road less traveled is sometimes hard,
My wagon throws gravel,
I read the cards,
This life I choose is wild and free,
It’s better when no one is following me,
The currents do change,
The journey does end,
The road does challenge with dips and bends,
But I am a gypsy,
With fortunes to tell,
I KNOW it’s going to turn out well!
©B L Costello 2016

I was blessed with this,
I know what it is,
I know no cross is heavier than his,
Still…..
I suffer……
I am tired and bent,
My sacrifice,
This is my lent,
“Fail to plan,
Plan to fail”,
I expected the rain,
Not the hail,
It hurts,
My life has been cut in half,
“Man makes plans…….
  And God just laughs”
B L Costello 2016

The time that you spent hurting me,
Could have conquered poverty,
Healed a burn of the 3rd degree,
Even composed a symphony,
Still, you chose to take your time,
Practicing to be unkind,
Now……….
You are the perfect *******,
I bow down to the master!
© B L Costello 2016

Her personal effects displayed on a chair,
The jewelry she hid is sitting right there,
Atop of the dresser she hated to dust,
Strangers browsing,
“Ask how much”,
A man in thick glasses watches the box,
Collecting the cash,
He records what we’ve got……
“It almost gone”,
Then….
We’ll call the truck,
Should I save something?
I don’t know what,
It been so long since I felt really sure,
All that remains is **** without her.
© B L Costello 2015

I pray for a change,
I hope it comes soon,
My ukulele is out of tune,
I can’t play,
I am so confused,
He’s suffering,
Where is my muse?
My mind is cluttered,
So is my home,
Without my dog,
I’d be alone,
“I think he is dying”,
Anxiety prods,
My minds begs and questions,
Where is God?

The evening sky hid the darkening clouds.  
The only warning was the rumble of their rolling as they smothered a once moon lite night.
Distracted by the ominous consumption,
Stars that once lit an azure glow disappeared under an indigo blanket.
How disappointing I thought it was…….
No stars,
No moonlight,
How selfish I was,
I did not to realize that she was the conquered
It was her loss,
Her rain soaked me,
Like tears it streamed down my face as I ran laughing
My jacket pulled over my head,
Her thunder like fists ponded in protest,
Perhaps she felt mocked,
Finding safety in my car,
I enjoyed the new light show that only lightening can perform.

She was no victim,
Just not very smart,
Her aim was poor from the start,
All those warnings,
Like ammunition,
They told her “fire”!
But she wouldn’t listen,
A reluctant hunter,
She worried a lot,
Now she is prey,
She lost her shot,
Just to survive,
For her that was good,
Now, she may never get out of the woods
© B L Costello 2016