bless

Jul 2018

Saint Jimmy

The real fairy tale life

Christmas eve, cuddled up with blankets and homemade hot chocolate (it's chocolatier and creamier than normal hot chocolate) and marshmallows, with a stupid old chick-flick that you've watched every year for the last 10 years, because it's become your tradition, and then putting the kids to bed early and hiding their presents and getting everything ready for them, because even though you'll be tired all day it's worth it to see them smile.

Going to the grandparents and the in-laws on boxing day because Christmas day is your day with the family, and having fun, playing board games because you can't beat the classics, sitting down for a dinner and laughing at ****** ******* jokes.

And then when the kids fall asleep, loading them into the car and going home, ready to go back to work the next day, because you work a full time job just to support your family to make sure they're never missing anything. Only to get ready for new years eve and partying the night away with your friends before escaping to kiss at midnight...

That's the real fairy tale life, not the marrying royalty and becoming a princess but marrying the one you love and starting a family, because not everything has to be perfect, just as long as you're together

Jul 2018

Saint Jimmy

Myself

I didn't find myself,
I just shut myself away because I was the youngest kid and everyone looked down at me.

I just want my space, I wanna sit in my own place,
with book and a fire,

for once I'd like to not cry myself to sleep, or wake up feeling numb.

For once I'd like to know what's it's like to know who I am.

For once I'd like to wake up
and not have to consciously remind myself that I have things to do.
I'd like to wake up not feeling tired.
I'd for once like to wake up and be glad that I have.

Just once, just once I'd like to meet a girl, go on a few dates,
and actually fall in love with a total stranger,
not someone I spent time working out their issues
and then helping them.
Because then they'll only ever see me as their solutions.

Just once I'd like to grab a coffee with someone and talk about the world with them.

Just once I'd like to feel that I'm not alone, I'd like to be normal.

Jul 2018

Saint Jimmy

Did you ever love me?

I wonder, do you ever sit back and think?
About what we were and what we had?
What we lost?
Do you ever see my name and wonder,
How I’m doing? What’s going on in life?

Do you ever wonder what would have happened?
What could have happened had it not been ruined?
Had I kept my mouth shut,
And followed you like I promised?

I wonder if you see me out, happy and smiling,
And if it breaks your heart like it does mine?
I wonder if you ever felt anything or was it all a lie?
Did you really love me or...?

I sit up at night and wonder,
Did I mean as much to you as you did to me?

bless Jul 2018

Untitled

quiet, yes
she chose to be quiet
i remember

if she was quiet
then maybe they'd all be quiet
to hear her say the words
sewed from lips
yes, their lips
their lips kept on moving
all night it moved

Jul 2018

Madisen Kuhn

july will be better than june

one day
it will be easy to breathe
my lungs will inhale flowers
and honey
it will be second nature
like riding a bicycle
like tying a shoe
like swallowing a pill
and i will hold on
tightly and
with shaking hands
until then

feeling very overwhelmed lately. trying to hold onto the hope that it will not always feel this way. i will find my peace.

#peace #hope #ease #tired #overwhelmed #resilience