Living in a world of grey
Though only black and white
Are the colors that I see
Whether day or night

I just really can't believe
That what You see is true
And how can you tell me
That i should feel like you

Seeing flowers trees and birds
And plays, and sad, sad movies
Does not invoke such thoughts you see
And you can't show them to me

My world is perfect, pristine and white
You nought but trespass here
What audacity you have
To say my world is weird

My heart is great and deep and wide
More empty than the night
I rather think you cluttered
Sure you have your feelings right?

Through depths of sorrow can I waltz
Like floating on the breeze
Your happines is much too loud
And unplesant for me

I still can't figure how you get
So angry and upset
Over things that others do
When still you've never met

Please instruct me, teach me
Oh great, wise, philosopher
Just how it is I need
Your feelings that occur

You say I'm broken, strange, messed up
You say you can help
I say if you are that good at it
Then you should help yourself

Your social customs, curticies
You do them without purpose
You cling so tightly hold them close
I gladly call them worthless

I'm not so cold and callused
As though it prolly seems
I'm really still working on
Which response you need

I may not cry when someone falls
Whether you or I
But I can promise I'll be the first
To help your tears to dry

Friend and family and acquaintance
All mean the same to me
I'll gladly help you when you need
With no return or fee

Eating breathing sometimes bleeding
Still less man than machine
Dont be so surprised when I
Respond mechanically

Living in a world of grey
Though only black and white
Are the colors that I see
There's only wrong or right

Silently crying while waiting on dying
My life as a zombie with grey all that i see
A lifeless corpse filled with remorse
A heart made of stone, feeling unknown

Endless life going on without living
No purpose or meaning ever been given
Feeling no peace whether dead or living
A graveyard would serve as a home

Tired, so tired yet never inspired
But pain, feeling better than joy
Has taken my company, residing within me
It also can't go on alone.

A lifetime passes. A year, or a day
By this time I can no longer tell
But i see a small spark, a faint glow in the dark
And i feel such a warmth on my skin

Though first out of fear, my distance i keep
Not wishing to widen the gap
I soon find myself in the same company
And at last my Light I have met

The closer I get to this Brilliant Flame
The lesser and greater my mind numbing pain
It seems all the time I spent in the dark
Had frozen my small rocky heart

I soon felt an ache so terrible and great
In the place I kept calm reserve
And naught but in fright of that Blinding Hot Light
I attacked that for which I had yearned

To my great dispare and no great delight
My anguish had now been passed on to my Light
I have learned through my fight
I must cherish my Light

I now spend my days while at work or at play
Remembering, dreaming of that special day
When my Light pleged to me, her life away
And I cherish each moment I have

Growing destuction from creation
Forgoing the art of appreciation
Not watching, no participation
Ignoring my own emancipation

Pulling the plug on my own demise
Ignoring the painful distant cries
Oh, how the world yearns for lies
Its honesty they will despise

Calling out for vallidation
Alienating my own nation
Walking without trepidation
Not questioning this amputation

Cutting all familiar ties
Hiding from my soul that flies
Only till the time it dies
Oh, how i would open my cold eyes

Building peace with agitation
Waiting for my cancelation
Wishing none would feel abrasion
Leaving most with palpitation

Breathe...
Just breathe.
Let it wash over your skin
And breath...

The feeling of helplessness,
Of grief, of sorrow,
Gives a certain sense of peace

Cant express the feeling riding on this,
This brush with death warms me
Consuming the pain of joy

Just breathe...
And stand
Stand and bear this burden
And breathe...

The enormous task of living
Greater than one
But less than the sum of two

The calculations wont add
The chemicals wont mix
The pieces just wont fit

The puzzle of existence falls to the floor
As the boot of reality crushes it underfoot
All the while hope gently floats on the breeze

And I breathe...

In Time* the darkness rises
In Time we walk alone
In Time the child wanders
In Time we lose our home

In Time the moonlit night
In Time will bare the soul
In Time the poet yonder
In Time will yet grow old

In Time great love once burning
In Time dwindled to coals
In Time the heart once fickle
In Time will bury hope

In Time the monster cornered
In Time bites feeding hand
In Time the thoughts once pondered
In Time will join the sand

The crying, the screaming,
The pain without meaning
So complacently patient
So sick'nenly silent

A thousand deaths
Can't wash away
The torturous wounds
You've bestowed to me

The hate and the lying,
The constant crying
Unobservedly nuicent
'Cause you've found your place yet

You cannot see
Scars, you gave to me
The death of a saint
To the sinners grace

All I have left
Is your second best

A heart of stone
Has no fear
Pain and Joy
Have no place here

One cant feel
If it is near
A silent, calm
Ship I steer

Needing not
To shed a tear
Or anguished cries
Of yours to hear

The outside of it
Almost sheer
The silence if it
almost queer

With robotic
Response to fear
But Joy in
solitude found here

Letting no one else
Draw near
Away from friendship
It will steer

Scoffing at a
Lonely tear
Sadness will
It never hear

Its rocky ledges
Are quite sheer
With great, deep caverns
Just as queer

In the broken twilight you stare
The darkness glist'ning in your hair
The deaths of family broke you none
The deaths of friends the starting gun

The race you wear like cheap jewelry
The chase you show so fake and erie
The end in sight if turned your head
The end in hindsight now we're dead

Uncertain love is what you crave
Partial hate you need
Unconventional life like a grave
In you lie with headstone of greed

In wasted moments between
The life and death I glean
The single choice you left me
The single path you test me

The shadows curl around your feet
The light bends inward to your center
The souls of many you devour
The souls you loved lay dead this hour