I'm losing a fight i cannot win.
Why does my enemy haunt me above all else?
I can't concentrate, i stumble but don't fall.
Whose hands are these?
I cant seem to remember.
When did my feet become so heavy?
Where am i even going?
Dreams, dreams while i am awake...
I don't know whats real anymore.
I cant give up. i press on,
Unable to fight back
But refusing to back down.
Unwilling to yield, this enemy i know.
So cold... No compromise can be won here.
No discussion, no rational,
No allies in this war.
I command an army of one.
And now those i love, even in their homes fall.
I stumble, i fall.
Whose heavy head hangs on this neck?
Maybe some odds
Were never meant to be surmounted.
Fear takes over as i finally realise,
I'm sinking for the last time.
My strength gives out,
I concede this battle.
Not willing still to submit,
I position myself upright as i can,
Leaning as i must.
My eyes close for the Last Time.
I catch a fleeting glimpse of the victor.
Gloating, as my sanity crumbles
And i cease to think.
How gentle he appears,
How benign and sweet.
All reason lost as my mind goes blank.
And i once again
This is how i feel every night.