An old friend came to visit me the other day
Anxiety.
He sat me down with my hopes and dreams and chained them around my wrists,
So that I would be able to reach them
But never catch a hold of them
Because they were just a little too far to fetch.

Sometimes I just wish I could sink into the void inside of me, detach my soul from every part of me so I become a lifeless body.
So I can seep away from existence, fall into myself, and never see the light of day again, never be afraid that it will be burn me
Again.

My heart hammered in my chest,
Petrified, my vision was blurry
My body was shaking
From the reality before me.

His sharp teeth and pale lips
Pulled back into a hideous smirk,
His hollowed eyes
Filled to the brim with hunger
And his breath
Foul with every death
He had devoured.

My throat, constricted with
Anxiety
And my stomach
Screamed with uneasiness.

My living nightmare
Worse than I had ever imagined,
Feeding off of any hope left inside of me.

I could taste the bitter flavor of dread
Replacing any bit of courage inside of me.

I struggled to find air,
Terror gnawed at my heart
As he prowled closer.

I closed my eyes
Praying to whoever was out there
For a second chance.
Then cursing them
For letting this monster
Haunt me.

Everything I lived for
Would be gone within the next few moments
Tears of anxiety drenched my face
From the thoughts of losing everyone I cared for.

What did I do to deserve this?
Why have I wronged fate?
Why does fate bring this sinister creature to punish me?
Why? Why? Why?

I do not deserve this.
I will not be punished.
I will not let it end here.
I will not accept my fate.

I took in a deep breath
1…2…3

His distorted face so close to mine,
Leering at me.
My heart pounding against my chest
My mind screaming to run
But my eyes,
Stared dead straight into his vacant sockets.

With all the courage I could fathom,
I roared
“You are not me.
You’ll never be”
His stance faltered
My nerves no longer chained around me.
“You can’t control me,
You are not stronger than me.”
My bravery radiated
As he started to saunter back
Fear in his voided eyes.
His figure shrunk with every step.
“You are nothing but a monster,
A beast.
I will not let you define me.”
He fell back and squirmed under my gaze.
“I may fear you,
But that doesn’t mean I won’t fight you.
I will, and I have.
And  I won."

With that, he crawled into the shadows
Where he belonged.
But he always lurked,
Inside my own shadow, attached to me
He was always an unwanted guest.
But he never hurt me.
He knew if I could conquer the beast inside of me
I could conquer anything.

I can. And I will.
Nothing in this entire world can stop me.
*Nothing at all.