“i miss you”
i tell you so many times when you’re away,
i guess i just wish you were the one to say
that you miss me and you cant wait
to see me at the end of these work days

it hurts to not be missed
by the one you crave so deeply
but i try my best not to bother you
and let you live your life freely
i wish all my sweet words
would be returned
but i guess i dont deserve them

you dont miss me
because im clingy and annoying and
i get on your nerves
but i love you so deeply
and i just want to feel loved in return

bina

i miss the sweetness
of your soft kisses
on my forehead
before we went to bed,
and the ways your eyes sparkled
when you told me you love me
while we slept on the floor
on the feather bed

i’d give everything to see
your eyes sparkle again.
do you miss it?
do you miss how our love
got us out of our own heads?

i’d go to the ends of this world
to show you that our love is still alive,
that we can hold each other
and allow it to thrive,
that we can look into each other’s eyes
and see our love sparkle
and come back to life

your bina

i search
the emptiness
hoping to find your soul
but my grip is loose
and i think its too late
to tell you not to go

bina

i dont love me
or my body.
i wish i was strong,
physically and emotionally.
i wish my **** was bigger
and my hips wider.
i wish i didnt
look like a **** toothpick
or a “string bean”
as they used to call me.
i hate my tiny lips
and stringy hair.
i see those models on ig
and how they keep
your attention.
i will never
have that attention
because i will never
look like them.

everyone thinks that i’m so lucky
to be skinny,
but no one stops to think
how being skinny
isn’t lustful.
people dont stare at skinny people
and say
“wow her body is amazing”
they say
“do you even eat?”
“did your parents ever feed you?”
“you need a cheeseburger”

bina

mania has ended
depression has begun

i feel myself
giving up
and shutting down
allowing the water to fill my lungs
so i can drown

do you feel my
heart aching
for you?

bina

i talk in short sentences
because the more i hear myself speak,
the more i hate the sound

i’ll give you all the love i have today
because im afraid that someday you won’t be around

i looked inside my anxiety
and you wouldnt believe what i found.
a mountain of love
topped with a crown.
it spoke,
“embrace me and you’ll never drown”

bina

today i drove to work
with the seat warmer on
the windows down
and the top open

i let the air
consume me
and let it fill my lungs and soul

it’s weather like this that makes me
feel like it might be ok
to stay on this earth
and keep on living

cold skin,
blue fingertips,
chapped lips
the red nosetip
the fall is the only season
that gives me life

bina